Thursday, June 19, 2008

Birds & Wolves


You have to click on the picture to see the baby bird real good.
Please pardon my rose bush that needs pruning. This bush is on a steep incline & I don't prune those.
So, I feel like this bird. He has 2 siblings you can barely see in the nest too. Little birdy is hungry, so am I. Not just for food, I am hungry for God in my life. I am hungry to be useful to God. I am hungry to be a better Christian. I love the song "Hungry", it is one of my most favorite Christian songs EVER!! I have a post with the lyrics to "Hungry" in the archives. So like the little birdy I look upward for my daily bread. I look to my Father for daily sustainment. But the little birdy must beware for there are "wolves" who would love to devour little birdy. What could happen to the little birdy if danger comes & it's father does not come to the rescue? Surely the birdy's father will not let the "wolves" come & devour it. The birdy only knows it is hungry. I am so hungry to be filled with God and live in victory. I am not hungry for material things although they are nice. I am so hungry to be of use to God. I don't have a problem volunteering, I always have. I LOVE to help people, I love to help in general. I don't know what my calling is except to help people. So I am still hungry like the little birdy. I haven't heard from the Lord since May 30 & 31, it was a Saturday. God told me to be happy BEFORE he bails me out & trust in Him. I really did try, I was pretty happy all that first week. I struggled the second week. I am flailing about this third week as I try not to panic. I really am trying hard. I have heard nothing from God since then & since that day my finances have severly tanked. My business is in dire jeopardy also now too, I am broke and penniless. I pray still and worship still but I feel so far from God. I am studying God's blessings, I can't earn them, I can't believe what a wretch I am that I cannot rid myself of this anger, resentment & bitterness. So I am afraid God has taken his blessings & protection away from my life. Do you know what happens when he does that. The "wolves" come in. I feel like I am at the mercy of the wolves, I am fighting off the enemy who wants to devour me. Surely my Father will not let me be devoured by the "wolf". Wouldn't He save me? I remembered Nehemiah, God sent his prophet to let him know that he would die, God would not heal him. God told him to get his house in order & to prepare for his death. Nehemiah prayed to God to remember him and that he had been a faithful servent & always tried to follow his ways. Then he wept bitterly. God sent his prophet back to the king to let him know God heard his prayers & saw his tears . He said He would add 15 years to his life. I too have always tried to follow God & serve him, I have asked God to remember me also. I don't know if He will or not. SO, back to our little birdy & his siblings. Two days ago, the "wolves" came in & devoured this little birdy & his 2 siblings. Although his father is never far from the nest, he either would not or could not save his babies. Now the nest is strewn about & feathers lay on the ground. They are gone, devoured & lost. Will my Father in Heaven save me from the "wolves"? I don't understand.... Surely He will provide an escape, His word says so. Can you serve God & love him & be a good person and still have everything taken away from you due to no fault of your own and be left homeless and penniless? Does that actually happen? God has mercy on whom He chooses. Why do I feel like He is so far from me when I know His spirit lives within me?
Well, I've sold a $40 purse this morning & I am grateful for that. Better than the $16.99 I did yesterday. I am hopeful for a blessed day in sales. Mostly I will just continue to praise God, Paul & Silas praised their way out of jail & lead the guard & his family to God on their way out. So I will use praise as my weapon & pray for strength & sustainment. I hear "wolves" don't like to eat praise like our Father does.

4 comments:

ocean mommy said...

Hi! I saw your comment over at the Nester's comments today. I just felt very compelled to come over here and pray for you. So I have....I won't offer you tons of advice about your situation, but I will commit to pray for you. My husband and I have been through the hardest year financially. Last fall was the hardest and lowest point and I had a lot of the same feelings. God was faithful. I can't explain it, but He sustained us and we are finally able to breath again. God must trust you an awful lot to allow you to go through this trial.

I saw you are in GA. I am too and if I was anywhere close to your store I would so be there! Looks like you've got some really great stuff!!

Anticipating HIM!
stephanie

Mary Ellen (Carolina Momma) said...

I saw you at Nesting Place as well and I'm adding my prayers to those of the previous poster.

I've been reading your blog and my heart goes out to you. I too am trying to rekindle my once close relationship to God. But I think during these trying times is when our faith grows the most. I know this may sound cliche but I think it's true about how butterflies struggle to get out of their cocoons. If you were to cut the butterfly out of the cocoon, it's wings would never develop and it would die. But through the butterfly's struggle is where it gains the strength to fly.

Blessings to you and your family.

Mary Ellen

Kelly said...

I just found your blog and wanted to let you know you are on my heart. I will keep you in my prayers, lifting you up in faith knowing God has only plans for good in your life. Whatever struggles you are facing, He is with you and will not let you go under. I can feel your frustration in your writing, and would feel exactly as you do in those circumstances; but I have seen God work some amazing things in some pretty awful places, and I know He has great things fo ryou.
Hold on, people are lifting you up and you are on God's mind all the time. He loves you, and He wants it to get better- I promise. Draw near to Him and hold tight, even when it seems too much to bear.

Still Learning said...

You guys are so sweet. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. The prayers of many really do make a difference. I am grateful that you would take the time to do that for my family.

I hope you all have a wonderful day!!

Jenn