Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Crown Of Strife

Don't let her fool you.

Amber seems to love her new crown. In my zeal to eliminate strife from our home I had the great idea one day to come up with some new way to identify the strife maker in a particular situation. Not only that but I had the idea of something that they would have to do or wear that they would not like to dissuade them from creating arguments or making rude comments to siblings. So I said I'm gonna make you guys wear a dunce cap on a particular day of major fighting between the two middle kids. One of them said what's a dunce cap? At that moment after feeling old I said, okay a crown. The crown of "Strife". If you are being particularly naughty and being a strife maker you will have to wear the crown of strife. Amber quickly made a crown for all three of them but to my sadness, they seem to enjoy the crowns and of course Amber being my biggest strifemaker was the first to wear her new crown. Do you like the SM she put on it? It stands for "Strife Maker". Brandon was wearing his green crown and he said to me he wears it with pride to let me know it didn't bother him. Now these crowns are something cool??? Oh, boy. Maybe the novelty will wear off. I'm still making them wear the crowns....
I am having the time of my life being at home. I heard the best words from my husband last night. He said Jenn, I have noticed a big personality change in you this last week. You seem much happier, I like it. Whooppee!!!!!!!! That was the absolutely nicest thing anyone could have ever said to me. EVER. I am loving every moment of the day. I am loving being at home with Braxton. I am very very busy. I hardly have time to eat, which is odd because I am at home most of the day. Even today I am booked out doing secretarial errands out of the home today for hubby's business until at least 1pm. I haven't hated cooking dinner too terribly much which is a great improvement. I am just so happy to be at home and enjoying my kids and my home and everything else I have missed working 6 days a week for the last year and a half. This is where I have always wanted to be and I hope it is where I am meant to be.
I visited my mom in rehab yesterday. She is coming home on Friday and there is a lot of work to do before she arrives. New handrails have to be built for her entrance, a chair elevator needs to still be installed in our stairway,etc. Dad and I had family therapy yesterday to learn how to help her walk and get in and out of the car. I am still nervous that we will mess up her care.
A funny side note: Speaking of Crowns, I still maintain my "Crown of the World's Most Forgettable Person". Yes, the glory is mine. The pastor of my "old church" came yesterday to visit my mom. They still attend there. Do y'all remember when my husband decided he wanted to start going to Church again and he wanted to go to one where he had friends? So he asked me to switch with the kids over to the Baptist Church not too far away where some of our friends go and of course I did it.... I had to leave my nondenominational Church of 8 years which I love love love but hey, the man wanted to go to Church again, yes I switched. It was a difficult move for me and speaking to the pastor is not easy so I talked to his wife and I talked with my Choir director and told them both why I had to leave. It was sad but they understood. I still email with my choir director. Okay, back to the story. Well, I switched Churches around September I think? Not too terribly long. So Pastor Seth walks in and I was excited to see him. He is a great Pastor and really funny. I have talked with him several times and of course you know I would see him on Wednesday evenings during Church and after service I had choir practice with his wife so he stayed late too. My daughter plays with his son and I have interacted with him many many times. Sunday mornings I was always early at Choir practice with his wife and said hello every week. So he comes in and says a group hello and I was just so happy to see him because I miss his preaching and miss seeing my old friends so much. But to my dismay he didn't speak to me or really even look at me. I was trying to figure out why he wasn't talking to me or acknowledging my presence. It was kinda hurtful so then it hit me. Maybe nobody told him why I left!! Oh, no, he's upset with me because I left the Church and didn't say why. Oh, no, maybe he thinks I didn't like his preaching and left!! He had only taken over as pastor a couple of months from being assistant pastor when I left. Oh, pooh, he thinks I didn't like his preaching and that's why he's not looking at me or talking to me. Then I started to feel bad and I was like, do I say something? Thoughts were racing in my mind thinking I had inadvertently offended and hurt my pastor when a therapist came in and said mom had to leave for a therapy session. Pastor Seth starts to say his goodbyes and shakes mom and dad's hand and turns to leave. He puts his hands in his jacket and I was like, oh no, he hates me. He's not even going to shake my hand!! Why didn't somebody tell him why I had to leave?????????? Then as he passes by me, he says with a nod. " Nice to meet you.".
Crushed was the word I would use to describe how I felt after he walked out the door. As usual, I used humor to recover as this is pretty funny. Nobody EVER remembers me and when somebody does remember me I am shocked. My family has always said I would make a great spy. The pastor that Pastor Seth took over for... I went there 8 years and for over a year even I volunteered one day a week working in the Church office where he would see me several times on that day every week and he never once remembered me when he saw me. You know, it's really bad because I sang in the choir too in the front row and at the center. I also sing alto on the microphones when the regular person is out. You know, I'm not just sitting on a pew in the back and not talking to anybody. So one day the previous pastor was walking through the Church on Sunday and as he walks by me he shakes my hand and says, " Is this your first time here?". I just said, Yes, it is and walked away. Then 15 minutes later I was in my choir robe singing on the stage front row center like always 25 feet from him and I'll bet he didn't even notice. I was just a little hurt, okay maybe a lot. I really liked Pastor Seth and his wife and I thought they liked me but now I realize he doesn't even know I exist. How can you see someone twice a week and talk to them twice a week and not see them? Sheesh.

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