Sunday, January 11, 2009

Mr. Butthead

I would like to confess that I have been lying about my identity. I have been calling myself Jennifer but really I am Mrs. Butthead, my husband is Mr. Butthead. Yes, he is the original male butthead, making me Mrs. Butthead. Jennifer Butthead.

Tonight my husband informed me he would like me to go back to work at the place I hate more than anything in the world and left after 18 years of indentured servitude. His big plan is that I work a full day Saturday and Sunday (bye bye Church) and Monday Wednesday and Friday evenings. I can be off on Tuesday and Thursday so I can run our kids to karate. Isn't he sweet. I can go to work at 5pm until late. You know, after the kids are all in bed. I was so taken back by this, he was so excited about it. He had it all planned out and when my reaction was not positive he blew up on me. He wants me to work someplace where we can get health insurance and I have to work weekends and evenings so there is no daycare as daycare is $135 a week. I was so shocked, I don't even understand it. I have not brought one penny of money into our household or made a single dime since December 2006. So for two years now he has paid all of the bills. Why now is it so imperative that I have to work all nights and both weekend days? Why so many hours? I'm so pissed off I want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why the flarf can't I just have a life like everyone else? I worked at that hell hole for 18 years and the last 12 I had to work 50 plus hours. I was never home and I missed EVERYTHING!! Then I got to stay home for one year after Braxton. I was so tired of that hell pit I worked at but had to because they paid me so much. I quit my job. Then my husband tells me that I am going to open a store six months after he gets laid off. So six months of that one year was spent planning to open the store and all that stressful stuff. Then I spent the last year and four months working six days a week. I am fucking tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I cursed. I feel better. Now the motherfucker wants me to hurry up and close up and go back to the hell hole I crawled out of (over my dead fucking body) and go work all nights and weekends so I can once again never be home and miss everything. Miss all dinners except 2, but I am sure I will be expected to have it cooked and ready for them to eat. Miss all weekend activities, all sports games, you know, basically miss out on my family. I guess I am just truly a big pile of dog shit. And he can't understand how I could not have a positive reaction to that. So he yells at me, like he does a lot now. I can't keep on paying on the bills he yells. Okay, yes, I know that. But I'll be damned mother fluffer if you are going to pimp me out and make me miss out on my life. I am so fucking tired of not having a life. I have to be a fat pig because my fucking family won't let me go to the gym. I have tried to go in the mornings, yes, now suddenly hubby has too much work to help me get the baby ready too and I could go on. Needless to say, I can't ever get there. Another wasted membership. I am hoping to go when Lexi gets home now that she can drive the kids to karate and I can pick them up after I work out and she can watch Braxton. But of course if Mr. Butthead gets his way as soon as Lexi gets home I will be off to work and not the gym. I never get to do anything or have any friends because I am always working. When I do get to go to a sporting event, people see me with Mike and they are like, are you related? Yes, I the freaking wife. So now I have to go work nights and weekends? I'll lose this flippin house first before I go back to work at that hell hole and you know what? I'll lose this flippin house and everything in it before that mother fucking asshole makes me do something else I don't want to do. I am so sick of being bullied. Bullied at work, bullied at home. I want to drive to a mountain and scream as loud as I can, then cry and then throw myself off the mother fucking mountain. MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't I just have even ONE mother fucking good week even? ONE fucking day? Guess not.

1 comment:

Sidney (Sixy Mama) said...

Geez, I SO know how you feel. It sucks big time to feel, and be, so used. My ex used to work long hours, and then fuck up the finances so he would have to continue to work and not be home with the family. In our 17 years together, we filed bankruptcy twice, had two repos (and he's had another since we separated), almost got foreclosed on (the grace of God stopped that one), and innumerable charge-offs on credit cards and such. I would try to go to work (which I really didn't want to...tough to do with six kids), and then he'd call and moan and groan cuz "they're not obeying me!". Whatever. I know how it feels to be stuck, too. My ex would yell and get physical, mostly with the kids, but once with me...when I was seven months pregnant with #4. Basically, I told him if he ever laid a hand on me again i'd f***ing kill him. Yeah, what a Christian I am!

I have Facebook (it's on my blog), and you can e-mail me ANYTIME. I know I don't "know" you, but I'm here for you, just the same. I'll say it again...I'm so sorry you're going through this.