Tuesday, February 3, 2009


These guys were at my house yesterday. One big truck and one ambulance for mom. She had been doing badly all day. I am pretty sure I blogged about it previously. But she just kept going down hill and the care she needed was more than constant and I was certain more than we were capable of monitoring. My dad left to buy a drill bit so he could install the bars in the shower. Mom was dying for a shower but while she was gone mom was not able to breathe enough oxygen anymore. I sensed her breathing becoming more labored and I think she was suffering so much she was just in the moment and struggling and it never occurred to her to ask for help. I had been rubbing her back for over 2 hours at that point, she kept begging me not to stop and I though my hands were going to fall off. But when I could feel her struggling I stopped even though she didn't want me to and I told her I was calling her doctor and she needed to go somewhere right now. I guess it shocked her a little and she said within a minute or two as I was searching for the lung doctor's number for me to call 911, she wasn't getting enough air. So I tearfully called and the 5 helpful paramedics arrived within 5 minutes and they were wonderful to her. My nine year old Amber cried hard, it was hard to see mimi taken away in the stretcher but I let her stay because I really wasn't sure mom wouldn't make it through the night and I wanted the 3 bigger kids to be able to say goodbyes, which they did. I really hate it for her, nobody should have to suffer a bad case of diabetes, heart disease, congestive heart failure, stage 4 kidney disease, and a freaking stroke. Her blood thinning levels are at 6.2. Normal is 3.2 to 3.5 so basically if you even touch her she bleeds out inside. She is covered with hemotomas (red bruising all over) because that level shot through the roof yesterday too. If she falls, basically she will probably bleed to death internally. She is bleeding internally now into her urine. I can see it in her catheter bag. She looks so miserable, oh yeah, and she developed a fungus on her tongue yesterday too. This is ridiculous for one of the most kindest people in the world to suffer like that. It makes me so angry for her. She keeps fighting and I'm like, inside, please mom quit fighting so the suffering can end. But she loves my kids and she will fight for them. I sure hope they keep her a long time so she can gain strength and they can finally figure out a proper medicine regime to get her levels normal again and get all of the fluid out of her lungs. Very sad day yesterday, I guess today too.


Mary Ellen ~ Carolina Momma said...

You all are in our prayers Jenn ((hugs))

Tasha Simons said...

I'm so sorry, Jenn. Tasha

ocean mommy said...

Oh Jenn...I am praying for you and your children..the whole family. I'm asking God to cover you in peace and give you the strength you need right now. AND that your mom will get the proper help and medication.

hang in there..