Monday, February 2, 2009

Superbowl Sunday

Daddy and Braxton snuck in a nap late in the morning. I went looking for them and there they were....
It happens every time...... I asked the big one to help me clean the family room which houses the treasure box of photos and memorabilia. I was cleaning the kitchen and came to see if I could help her out and here she was...... digging through the photos. We love our treasure box.
Superbowl Sunday was a busy day of decor change in the Family Room. I took the Nester's advice from her post last Monday on 10 minutes to a room you'll love. Only it took me longer than 10 minutes because I kept shopping the house and the basement for stuff for the room. I love my changes and although I need a few more items, it looks great. Everyone in the family loves it too and the kids are even trying to takeover what has traditionally been the adult room in the house. It is so much more relaxing and pleasant to be in here. I am going to take some pictures today and post them tomorrow. It is really dark and rainy here today so the room may not photograph too well as most of the room is glass open to the outside. Well, we'll see what happens.
Mom is having a tough time today. She is really struggling and I wish she was back in the hospital. This is harder than I thought due to Braxton not being able to go down there. My dad is about to collapse and he is close to losing it. But, my mom doesn't trust anybody but him to walk with her or be her back up for anything. So I can't take her to the bathroom, shower or to any appointments. She is constantly needing something it seems and she cannot get any of it herself. My dad never complains but from what I can see it is more than he can handle. She is so weak and I go down as much as I can to help. I was doing the dishes for them earlier but Braxy started to cry and it was upsetting to mom so I quit and I guess I will go back down later to finish. I don't know what my role is yet but I am trying to do what I can. I think she needs more daily therapy. Her blood and sugar levels are through the roof. She needs a full time nurse that's for sure. I sure hope she continues to improve quickly. It is such a struggle for her. Strokes suck.
Did some Bible study this morning. Didn't go to church on Sunday. Watched Pastor Jentzen Franklin instead. I'm still not sure about my role with God. I want to be close to him and I know the manual. Give me a question, I can give you the answer. I totally know the manual, generically speaking. Of course I am still learning and there are passages yet to still scream out a new meaning to me. But in general, I know the Bible pretty well and yet I do not have the peace of God in my life or the power or gifts His word speaks of. I get pretty confused as to what I need to fix. Joyce's book I am reading says it may greatly be caused by the strife in the home and marriage. I thought it was funny (kind of) because I had determined to make my hubby's day yesterday. I was going to pamper him and be a real help mate and especially for that day a man spoiler just to make him feel special. It was working until the afternoon when he became increasingly agitated over family and business finances. To file for bankruptcy or not? To file just me or both? What to do? He got very angry and it got directed at me. I handled it pretty well but later on it got really ugly over an incident and he would not even speak to me and even this morning I barely got a word from him and I am pretty sure no eye contact. Which is weird because he is one of those I let it go in the morning people. Have the argument, get mad and get over kind of people. Odd for him to stay angry and I did not do anything, he was just directing it all at me and I became the evil one. So I am still confused that every time I try to further my walk or better my life there is just one road block after another. Why doesn't God show me the way? I've asked. Why doesn't He show me a clear path to His will? I've asked. I am so confused, still. But at least I never give up. Like yesterday, I have been determined to rid our home of strife as I have posted several times lately and yesterday I make it a point to direct that at the hubby and on that day in particular is the day where we have the most strife? What was that about? I mean, if God is with me and He is, then He knew what I was up to...... why would that day be the day my husband would decide to just basically hate me. I was spoiling him and loving on him and suddenly I'm the evil had ruining his life? What? I'm like, hey up there, can I get a break? Huh? Some help down here please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still don't understand what happened.
A nice note to end on:
Mom went to Church Sunday. When she got there the pastor came down and prayed for her and he was touching her head and praying over her. Some elders were there too praying. They said my 9 year old Amber got down on her knees and laid hands on mom's legs and was praying out loud for God to help her and everyone started crying and my mom who never cries was balling like a baby. Pastors were crying, people in pews were crying at the sight of Amber kneeling and praying over her out loud like that. I could just imagine it and I almost cried too. My sweet kitty. Well, at least I'm teaching the kids right.

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