Friday, September 25, 2009

Honest Conversations With My Teen

My beautiful girl.
I have been given a wonderful opportunity with my sweet girl the last few weeks. I have always thought it was the right thing to do to be extremely honest with my kids. I always knew it would pay off in the end even though it meant having conversations that I would sometimes rather not or admitting to things I would rather not. But, I always knew it would pay off and that some day in a time of need and confusion my children would come to me and not their worldly friends for help. Well, it paid off.
My poor sweet baby, what can I say, boys are dummies these days. She has been through the wringer this month, betrayed, hurt, and at a crossroads. She must begin making tough decisions that involve her faith and her life in the world where we live. Tough decisions, decisions that make boyfriends dump you. She is learning that you can't believe what people tell you, even when they are telling you that they love you. She is learning to judge by actions and not words. She is learning that people will say anything to get what they want and believing those lies can be so devastating when you learn they were all lies.
She is experiencing for the first time the sting of betrayal and that horrible sense of self doubt and shame that a bad relationship can dump on us girls. At at pivotal time in her life when she could be consumed with doubt and negative feels that could affect future relationships she came to me. I was so happy and so scared to hear what she needed to say. Thankfully she has stayed true to her faith but she has to keep on paying a price for it. Goodness, it wasn't this hard when I was a teen. I would have never come to my mom with this situation, way too embarrassing, but how awesome that she did. The lies and dumb things people do and say to us when we are young can stay with us and emotionally damage us but I am so happy to have been a guide for her and a mentor to help her deal with this tough life. We have cried, gotten angry at a dirty dog, we laughed, we hugged, cried some more, smiled and wiped tears. But after a couple of weeks she is good, and she feels healthy. She could have been scarred and had some really negative feelings about herself. I am so happy that honesty births trust. I am so happy she stays faithful to her values and does not let herself be manipulated. God bless her.
Sometimes life is so hard and there is such pressure to not be a teen that lives for God. Her life would be so much easier if she did not. But thankfully God restores all things for those who love him. He keeps her, He loves her and He must bring the man who will love her into her life. I have encouraged her to pray for boyfriends who love God and stay true to those moral values also, she did not realize she could do that. My bad, sometimes we pray these things for our kids but forget to tell them that they can do it too. I encouraged her to begin praying for the husband she will one day have and God will keep her.
Why had I never taught her that before? Once again a reminder that we have little ones that need ministering to, it's not just the world that needs us. It is our children who we should also daily minister to and teach them the things we have already learned and know. Our children need to know we will love them just as much when they make bad decisions and so will God. They need to know they will make mistakes and that although it's not okay to do wrong things that they are not godly outcasts at that point and that they should never feel like God doesn't like them anymore or not want to go to church 'cause they feel bad about something. Godly repentance, I haven't taught my kids about that yet. I see now that I should have. So I will begin to do so. How scary to think that doubt or fear could keep someone from sticking around with God. Hmmm, what else haven't I shared with my kids? Honesty is the best policy I was always told. Maybe I'm too honest but I sure do know what is going on with my kids and that is not something the majority of parents of teenagers can honestly say.
Oh, and if you have middle school age kids and up, please check up on their Facebooks and My Space sites!!! I see Lexie's all the time and her friends have almost nude pics up all the time and shots of them drunk as skunks with the beer still in their hands, pics of them simulating sex acts and such. Um, don't their parents even check these things? ACK!!!!!

1 comment:

Danielle said...

Pfftt... that's right! We all don't think so. Your daughter is on the right path, PTL!!