What do you smell like?

I've been pondering a lot lately what makes a person not "get it" concerning what our Christian walk should be. I include myself in this.

What makes us not want to fully live for God?

What makes us think when we are mostly living in the world and gratifying sinful desires that we are still in a good place with God? I can remember not going to church almost at all in my twenties but I prayed lots and I definitely belonged to the "good girls club". I lived a life according to the rules that would have been God pleasing but I was unchurched, danced like nobody's business at dance clubs (Sunday nights at the American Pie were my favorite), and although I never showed cleavage, I did wear tight pants & showed my belly when I went out and if you had asked me I would have not have had a single conviction about my life. I absolutely would have told you that I was a good Christian girl.

In my case, I knew all about God but I did not know God. I knew how I should live and that's what I did. I did not understand. Why I wonder? I mean, God has been around a really long time and by now shouldn't we know what we are supposed to do and be taught it as little kids? Why 2009 years after Jesus's death is each generation struggling with their Christian walk? Why don't we already just know? I look at the things I teach my kids and oh what I wouldn't give to have been taught this stuff!

But, back to the question. Why don't people want Jesus or want Him fully in their lives?

As Christians, we know we have the goal of making ourselves more like Jesus. We know we are being refined to reflect His image. I've heard that my whole life but I was 30 with a baby dying at Scottish Rite before it hit me. And even then, it took me another 8 years before I stopped living my life and making room for God before I decided to live for God and trust that he would make room for my life. Why?

Why don't we want to fully seek His will? Why do we call ourselves Christians and then curse like sailors, dress not so modestly, watch things unpleasing to the Lord on TV that are trash and feel like we are just fine. I know I spent time in that place. Why don't we want to surrender to Him? Why don't we know that we are supposed to? I really wonder why. I know sin pulls on people. But let's say in my case, I didn't really live a "sinful" life in the fact that I didn't do any big obvious shameful sins. I always was a goody goody and wanted God to be pleased with me. I just truly didn't know there was more than belonging to the "good girls club".

Of course I should have been studying the Bible and maybe I would have come to know him. But I was always told you had to have the KJV or you were commiting some great horror. Well, I have never been able to understand the KJV!!!! So, I missed the boat. At the age of 30 I said poo on that Bible and got one I could understand and it was amazing. But still, I hardly ever opened my Bible in my twenties. I just went to Church sometimes and listened. I followed most of the rules. But I never knew the importance of fully living for God. Why?

I try to talk to people about surrendering to God and mostly I get blank stares. It does not sink in. They mostly don't want the life they think they will have to have if they let God in. Why do most people think an honest Christian walk stinks? We should have the aroma of Christ, not something stinky that reeks. Why don't they want what we have? Why do some people run the minute you bring up God? Well, it's something I feel heavy on my heart. I want to know what is so unpleasing about worshiping God to those who don't. I want to know why those that do worship, don't just do it fully. I know why I didn't, I just didn't know better. So many of us here in blog land seem to "get it" but are we sharing that? Oh please, share that knowledge! If only someone had shared it with me.... I spent the last year and a half making my life a pleasing aroma or should I say trying to make sure my life was a pleasing aroma to God and those around me. How selfish if I don't share with others, even other Christians as I was a lost one myself, what a Christian walk should look like. I'm not being judgey, I just mean that we should spend time talking with Him, studying his word, and seeking His will for us on a daily basis. We should live by Galations 5:22, the fruits of the spirit and if we have an issue, stop praying for God to zap it away, the last fruit of the spirit is self control. I wish someobody would have told me when I had to get rid of an "issue" to stop spending forever asking God to take it away from me and zap it away or asking him to help me not to do it anymore and then me not make the effort to do anything 'cause I was expecting God to do something first. Yeah, um self control, we need to be pro active with our bad selves.

An interesting question and I for one plan to tell everyone I know just how wonderful living for God is. I want my life and the lives of everyone around me to be an aroma pleasing to God. I truly think there is a huge ministry out there for Christians who just don't know how to hear from God, who just don't know what a personal relationship is or that they should even have one. I wish I had been told that I should live what I know and had that mean something to me as a young person. Every example of a Christian in my young life was no different than the unsaved except the Christians went to church and the unsaved didn't. In all other areas, they all pretty much behaved the same. Hmmmm...... I hope I don't resemble that remark.

Just something heavy on my heart.