Monday, October 26, 2009

Spectacular Salavation


I was thinking yesterday about my testimony and what it would sound like if I gave it. My actual moment of becoming a born again Christian I decided was absolutely not spectacular in any way. Some people have spectacular salvation stories don't they? I could tell you some stores that would be sure to give you goosebumps and drop you to your knees at the power of what God did for someone in an instant. I don't have one of those stories.

But, I quickly decided that although my salvation story in itself was not spectacular, my life since salvation has been quite spectacular. God has done many many spectacular things in my life and the things that he has taken the time to show me are the most incredible things about my testimony.

I began to look back in time at the spectacular moments.

First grade on the playground. I was tired of the school bully being mean to all of us, he was so mean!! One day I decided to have a chat with him on the swings. I began to talk to him about God and the devil and what they were like and how they could influence how we acted. I told him all about how God loved him and Jesus loved him and they wanted him to be nice to people. I told him that when he was being mean and beating people up he was making the devil happy and God sad. We talked some more about God and Jesus and about giving our lives to God. He did just that on the swings of that playground and you know what? He never bullied anyone ever again either & his life was changed. That was spectacular!! If God wants to call someone to him & there is a willing vessel, yes even a little girl in the first grade, he will use that willing vessel to change a life & draw someone to him. Never underestimate what God can do through you.

I watched God save my baby Amber. That was nothing short of spectacular!!!

God has done many spectacular things with me, the most amazing of all was in 2008 and 2009. Wow. So many things, I wrote them all down from the beginning of the blog. He took a happy, successful lady & emptied her so she could be truly filled with Him. What seemed like a punishment has been the most incredible blessing I have ever received from the Lord! Giving up my life & the rights I perceived as mine was a truly spectacular experience.

I remember driving in my van in 2003 and praying and somehow the subject of loving God came up, of loving Jesus came up. I had a tough moment when I realized that although God was moving in my life mightily and I was seeking him and had worshiped him for decades, I realized that I could not say I loved God or Jesus. I worshiped them, I knew all about them but I would have been a liar if I said I loved them. Do you have any idea how hard it is to tell God that you kinda love Him but you definitely have no feelings of love toward His son? Yeah. I asked God to help me love Him and His Son. I had no idea how. Goosebumps crept up all over me as I remembered that moment in my van when I asked God to help me love Him and Jesus. God spoke very clearly in my mind and he told me to read his word. I don't know how, I had studied the Bible bazillions of times, but God revealed Himself to me in spectacular ways and for the first time I realized what this scripture meant.

Hebrews 4:12For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

You know what? The Bible that you have parked somewhere in your house is alive. It judges the thoughts and attitudes of your heart. I read it in pieces and studied it for decades and did what it said 'cause that is what good girls do. And I wanted to please God 'cause that is what I should do. But, when I went to the word with the desire to love God, with the desire to let it transform me inside & prayed about it, I tell you with every bit of honesty, everything changed, in a spectacular way. The scriptures I read affected me deeply inside, they had never done that before. The word was alive in me!!

Now, that was spectacular. It wasn't long into a year and a half time frame that it took me to read the entire Bible front to back that I felt like I really knew God and His Son, and I loved them both. I really believe that scripture and God showed me how real it was. It was the attitude that I came to him with that effected how much power his word had over me. It was my faith and desires that were blocking his word. Lest you think it was because I asked God to help me learn to love him and it was all in my mind because I decided to do it, I was able to do it. Um, no. I had no clue how to love God. How do you love someone you can't even see or touch? Much less Jesus, He didn't mean much to me at all to be honest. He was a great story and I knew I should love him but I didn't have an ounce of "love feelings" for him. I was extremely grateful to him, but nothing more. I didn't think reading the bible front to back like God asked me to do was going to do any good at all because I knew pretty much every thing in it, so I thought. There were giggles in heaven when I thought that, I am quite sure of it.

It was God and Jesus that did all of that for me and His word, which was fully able to judge the attitude of my heart when I opened it that led me to love them.

Do you love God? Do you love Jesus? If you happen upon this post and do not believe in God, I want to share with you that God is very real. You can feel free to email me and I can tell you many stories of what he has done in my life that were completely impossible but he did them. The truth is in His word, all of the proof you ask for is in His word. The catch? You will have to seek him with the attitude that you want to know him. Pray about it, tell him that you don't love him or that you are not sure if he even exists but that you want to love him. If you truly want to know God & Jesus, if you truly want to love them, God will show up and when you pick up your Bible to read it, get ready. Because those scriptures will cut deep into your soul. It is the greatest book I have ever read.

I wonder how long it was that God was just waiting for me to realize that He does not need people obeying His rules because that is what we are supposed to do. I wonder how long He was just waiting for me to come and tell him that I wanted to love him back and His Son because they had already been loving me all along. When I asked, I received. I knocked and the door was opened. I sought Him and I found Him. Truly spectacular!!

2 comments:

Heart2Heart said...

Jenn,

I got goosebumps just reading your testimony. God uses anyone to get His will accomplished. The more humble and open we are, the more He can use us. God created each and every one of us for a special purpose in life. Once we fulfill that purpose we are gone. He rewards us with our one stop ticket to heaven.

I love how you have shared just how strong your faith was as a child. Well done! You have a brilliant testimony!

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Tasha Simons said...

Thanks for sharing your testimony! I enjoyed reading this post. You have a genuine relationship with God where He really knows your heart. It's refreshing to read about how His word came alive for you.

Tasha