That's me and my birthday girl Amber. She turned 10 last Thursday. I love the expression on her face in this picture. Doesn't she look so happy?
And now for some serious stuff......
Let me start with this scripture.
Psalms 119:176 I have wondered away like a lost sheep; come and find me, for I have not forgotten your commands.
The first scripture that punched me in the gut was the first. Psalm 119:1 Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the Law of the Lord. Immediately I went in my mind to this scripture which has stuck with me like super glue since I looked at it a couple of months ago. Genesis 17:1 When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said, "I am God Almighty; walk before me and be blameless."
Blameless defined- free of guilt; not subject to blame; "has lived a blameless life"; "of irreproachable character"; an impeachable reputation.
Which would bring us back to a post I did a few weeks ago on my prayer life. I knew I was not praying like I was in the past & God was dealing with me on that. I repented, surely I did & even wrote a post on it. Did I do better? Not much. Oh boy. I did better but I have not gotten back to the place I need to be in where I could honestly say I was seeking the Lord with my whole heart. Lately he has been getting 3/4 of my heart, I say with much regret.
So our Pastor on Sunday preached a sermon that I promise could have been written just for me and my family! Ouchies!!!! I knew before he was even done that I needed to go spend some time at the altar. I need to put Him first, He is all that matters. He is what I need to seek with my whole heart. My relationship with Him should be my first priority and He will keep everything else in line. We are having very touch times financially, oh yes we are and the enemy is using them to make me question lots of things. I have let the enemy win some battles lately in my mind. I guess we all do that sometimes, but it is no excuse for me really because I know better. Things like "What good does it do to serve God & believe the promises when all you are doing is struggling?" or "Things were looking so good and now they are so dire again, God must be angry at you or He isn't really involved in your life, you have to everything for yourself." UGH.... I hate fighting that stuff off but truly it's the ugly stuff that creeps into our minds. It is the enemy whispering things in our ears. I am so sick of him.
So I sure did repent again at the altar and cried my little eyes out. Pastor prayed over me too, he was a big encouragement. I studied this morning not knowing if God would have anything for me. I went to 1 Kings on my own but a FB scripture posted later after I had studied 1 Kings just screamed at me. It was Psalms 119: 49-50, thank you Suzanne!!! I knew immediately I had to look up the entire Psalm. So glad I did, I think God had some things for me today.
1 Kings, A plan was in effect to make Solomon king after David dies. Evil, pride and greed comes in and another brother makes himself King. In fact, the new king is already feasting and happy as a clam with himself. What about Solomon? Is all lost? His brother is already made himself king? What about what he was promised?
Psalm 119:50 My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life
Solomon does not lose his thrown, his mother and a priest go to David and David acts quickly to have Solomon anointed King and set about town on the Kings mule. The city is rejoicing so loudly for King Solomon that it disturbs the "other king" and all is lost for him. Solomon is king, just as it was promised to him. He did not lose heart, his mother did not lose heart. They went straight to the one who could make everything right. They did not give up and wander off......
God honors his Word. God honors his promises. We do not always do that. I cannot believe that I ever doubt whether His word is truly for me. What is the matter with me? As soon as I am alone this morning I am going to pray long and hard and give thanks for Him and his Word.
So here I see a story of God keeping His word & His promises to His servant. Even though all looks lost, God makes it all just as He said it would. It is all okay in the end. Then I go to Psalm 119 and see that reminder to be blameless. God said walk before me and be blameless.
Am I doing that? Am I free of the guilt of not praying & seeking him with my whole heart and not a fraction heart? No.
And then I saw that last scripture..... I knew it was just for me today.
Psalm 119:176 I have wondered away like a lost sheep; come and find me, for I have not forgotten your commands.
Right in the heart that scripture went. I have not forgotten Lord, come and find me because I need you so very much right now. I will seek you at your throne and once again throw myself at the mercy seat this day.
"Walk with me and be blameless." is it really to much to ask from us?