What a naughty little blogger I have been lately. I have a great reason why. Not only have I been extremely busy but I have once again (kicking myself) put my personal relationship with the Lord on the back burner. Why oh why would I do that? I know better. I have made it a daily priority since 2007 and I would say a high priority at that. DAILY people.....what do I give Him lately? PRACTICALLY NOTHING. (still kicking myself)
I can be honest enough to admit I quit talking much to the Lord out of guilt from sin. This I really know better about! I know and teach all about grace, who I am in Christ, forgiveness and the blessed mercy seat. I think I let this get out of control when I started the 6 series DVD study at the ladies bible study I teach. We meet every other Thursday and we just met last Thursday and did session 4 so....what, that makes 8 weeks of me blowing God off. NICE.
I can say that I do not EVER want to teach another DVD study ever ever ever again if this is how I am going to behave. Normally I spend hours and hours over the course of days putting together the studies for the group I teach. Yeah um, it was great and I was totally in sync with the Holy Spirit and boy did I get some awesome bible studies out of it thanks to the Holy Spirit and the Lord. Now??? Oh boy. I have been asking God about teaching the ladies class and I know I do not deserve this position the way I am acting right now. Yeah, I got that. I also know I have one more week until lesson 5 and then 2 more weeks until lesson 6 and then 2 more weeks until I have to give my own lesson again. So, that is 5 more weeks that I can still act like a moron without anyone knowing about it.
Last week I prayed and asked God to give me the topic for the next bible study that I would be leading after the DVD study we are now doing is over. I NEVER pick our topics to study. I always wait on the Holy Spirit to give it to me. Which, may I say is mega cool. Anyhoo, I asked God for a topic that would require major studying on my part, something that would not be easy to put together but something that we ladies needed. I asked for something that would have me in the Word for LONG PERIODS of time and also that I would need much revelation through the Holy Spirit to do this study. Basically, I want Him to help me get back to Him and the simplest way to do that is to ask. So, I did. I asked for a study that would challenge me spiritually so much so that I couldn't wing it 'cause I already knew all about it. Ask and you shall receive she says with a repentant heart.
Well, after my prayer the phrase "Be of good cheer" popped into my mind. I looked it up...John 16:33 from the King James translation says be of good cheer in it. Well, I guess that is our main scripture for the study huh? Ya think? I wasn't thinking anything about being of good cheer and it popped into my head so quickly after my prayer that I was momentarily stunned. Then I said "God, is that you"? Knowing it was but still a little unsure since it happened so quickly and since I have been blowing God off for a couple of months now I kinda was unsure of His voice. (yep, still kicking myself). When I was praying I was on my way to an evening service and after I heard the "Be of good cheer" phrase pop in I asked God for a confirmation that was in fact Him I was hearing so that I don't go off and do a study not His will for us. Well, during the service our Pastor basically says the same phrase and talks about staying joyful people and such. I took that as confirmation because he wasn't even preaching on that.....he merely side stepped in his sermon to make that comment. Thanks Lord for the confirmation. So I actually sat down today to study being of good cheer and what that means. Oh yeah baby!!!! Did God EVER grant my prayer request or freaking WHAT?
John 16:33....and the scripture begins with "these things I say to you....." so....... that implies that the being of good cheer is in direct ties with the above 32 other scriptures. In order to do a study that isn't just a "nice feel good study", which I hate those by the way, and do a study that has some major teaching and achieves actual life changing with "how to apply this to your life right here and now" applications I am gonna be in the Word for quite a long while and I see a at least a 2 part study here, maybe 3 lessons. Yep, He gave me exactly what I asked for.
I also think it's a little funny that in one of the 32 previous scriptures Jesus says you will receive what you ask for in His name and that you will receive it so your joy may be full. Well, I asked and I sure did receive. I couldn't make this stuff up, I'm too busy. You know..... I could be given a bizillion topics and stories and I could teach a class off the top of my head or prepare a lesson in under and hour because I already know so much on the topic. What are the odds I ask for something that requires weeks of studying to prepare a lesson and the thing that immediately pops into my head is not something easy that I could not easily prepare for? I could maybe b.s. my way through scripture 33 but you can't do that because it starts of by Jesus saying "these things I say unto you" so I have NO CHOICE to teach on what these things are and how they effect our ability to "be of good cheer".
I also told my pastor on Wednesday evening that I had not been giving my relationship with the Lord the attention it deserves and that I was neglecting it. You know, I am too stinkin honest sometimes, lol. But, I felt it had to be done. He had the most perfect response to what I said and he did what? He encouraged me, that's what he did. Dude, I was expecting anything but that. He told me I was doing an excellent job leading the class. He said his wife loves the studies and he always hears the ladies complimenting what goes on in the class. He said to just get back to studying and praying and everything will be all right and that it is all a battle and I cannot let Satan win. Huh? Wasn't expecting that but how like Jesus he was in that word he had for me. He didn't judge me, he just encouraged me and loved me right where I was. Gives a girl goosebumps it does.
So that is where I have been. Out there in the world. Still going to church 3 times a week and 4 every other week and that's all the time I gave God. Which just goes to show you can't judge someone by their church attendance. I was going to every service but my relationship was at the bottom of the heap. Appearances are deceiving are they not? I am excited by the study the Holy Spirit and I will be putting together and it should be quite interesting. I will post it when I get it done. Yes, that should be WEEKS from now, lmbo. I need it :)
I also had the horrible realization that whilst I am still REELING from the shock and horror of turning 40 on December 21 of 2009 that I will indeed be turning 41 in five more months!!! Oh the humanity........