What 2011 Had In Store For Me and Mine. Let's Catch Up.

I quit blogging almost a year ago. Since the blog was titled Blogging God and Me, and there pretty much wasn't a God and Me anymore, I stopped blogging. Life stunk and I was pretty peeved about it. I walked away from our "relationship" but I never quit going to church.


I read through the last few of my posts, the last one being May 4, 2011 and I laughed so hard when I read my post from Easter 2011. One of the last things I wrote was that I was looking forward to a great/good summer. Eh, it was one of the two. I'd bet money I was only reaching for good though.....great???? who would I be kidding ha ha. Let's see how that worked out for me.



1.When last we left off I had been having a menstrual period for six months. No, that was no typo, SIX FLIPPETY FLIPPIN MONTHS. And, to avoid any confusion I do mean EVERY SINGLE DAY for those six months. Well, I finally stopped bleeding and hemorrhaging at the end of May. I stopped bleeding altogether in early June. Since this ties in to the worlds longest period thanks to the evil Depo shot my evil doctor gave me for birth control. And, may I say what a wonderful 100% birth control method that shot was......what man in his right mind wants to pork his wife while she is bleeding like a stuck pig. Yes doctor, that was an excellent form of birth control, thank you so much for keeping me from getting pregnant. And having any sex......oh yes, back to what I was getting at.......if anyone remembers I lost 34 lbs in 2010. Yes, that lovely Depo shot made me gain 24 of them back. Thank you again evil doctor for not mentioning that Depo shots cause many women to bleed like Niagara Falls, go psycho, and gain around 30 lbs, you are the best. So thankfully I'm back to regular periods, I'm not psycho but still highly sarcastic in my writing style and thoughts but still sweet as pie outwardly....:) and I still have the 24 lbs. GRRRRR......I lost half a pound last week though, I'll take it.



2. Ah May, I'd like to say we're out of May but NO. May wasn't done with my family yet. The end of May brought horrible news for my daughter Amber's scoliosis. We found out that her scoliosis had not improved or stopped it's curvature like the $6,000 brace (paid in cash, we have no health insurance) and the $6.000 in physical therapy, and the $2,000 traction chair was supposed help do. No, after our end of May visit the chiropractor referred Amber out for surgery. I'd like to say since it's now Jan 2012 that Amber has had her surgery, or is even scheduled for surgery. But....NO. Her curve is increasing so rapidly that she is already at a 100 plus curve and the doctors around here don't think they can help her. After being shuffled around from doctor to doctor we are referred out to a Shriners Hospital for children in Philadelphia, PA. That happened in October, still can't get an appointment. Amber can't wear a bra anymore because she is curved so far over that the bra cuts right into her skin. Joy......She is in pain daily.....more joy......and we found out in July that she has a Chiari Malformation of the brain. This has been, yes you guessed it......WAY MORE JOY......because it's lots of fun to have the base of your brain being sucked into your spinal column blocking spinal fluid from entering your spinal cord which causes you to have scoliosis, headaches and dizziness and a few other things but those are the "only" symptoms Amber experiences. More about Amber's 2 surgeries later.....



3. Hello June, what did you have in store? Oh that's right.....my husband's dad died. It was so horrible. It was beyond horrible. They had just spent the last 2 years becoming so close and it all ended so unhappily. Cancer is not a pleasant way to die. I was so sad for my husband, to this day he still picks up the phone to call his dad. We had to take him off life support and he died surrounded by everyone who loved him. I do believe that when his soul rose up out of his body and he saw that we were all touching him and gathered around him that it must have made him happy to see such a sight. It has been difficult to help my husband, he doesn't like to talk about it. He just keeps it in, he was an emotional mess for a couple of months. He was really angry and lashing out but thankfully that didn't last long, now he just shoves it all in. It was a rough time, and the week of planning, paying for, and putting together the funeral was insanely miserable. June, I was glad to see you go.


4. July and August was filled with doctors appointments at Greenville, South Carolina Shriners Hospital and various financial difficulties.


5. September, I hated you the most. You sucked so bad I'd like to vote the month of September right off the calender. September 28, 2011 Heaven received one of the most beautiful souls to ever grace this planet. My mom, Karen Tomlinson died that day. It was bar none, the worst day of my entire life. She was my best friend from the time I was a baby until the day she died. No one was ever closer to me than my mom. I always wanted to be around her. I always wanted to talk to her. She was truly, one of the best people ever. My mom loved me more than anyone, she always asked me how my day was. Nobody ever asks me how my day was.....even though I always has everyone else how their day was....but mom always cared enough to ask. Her death was not peaceful. It was horrible and drawn out. Dad and I were at the hospital non stop for days and the first two she did nothing but scream in pain. As usual, I had to demand she be pumped with pain killers. "No doctor, I don't care that it will effect her breathing. Do you not year her yelling "Help, Help, Help, Help,Help, over and over? Give her something before I throw you out of the hospital window. Please and thank you." After that she came to a conscious state only one time. Of course it was the only flippety flippin time I was not at the hospital because I needed a physical and we didn't think mom was going to die so I went for my pap smear. Which, of course......I found out 2 weeks later came back as ABNORMAL. Of course it did.......I'll be re tested in March to see what the abnormality is, it had better not be cancer because I just can't deal with that. I have a 12 year old girl to get through 2 very painful surgeries and rehab. I don't need to be dying. We found out the day she died that her pain was from 2 herniated discs in her neck. Her body was flooded with carbon monoxide also, her lungs weren't working right anymore and her blood was being poisoned. Right after my pap smear my dad called me around 5pm to tell me the doctors had just finished telling him that she would never come off life support and would need a feeding tube and have to live in a nursing home. That was around 5pm and in that particular critical care ward they kick you out at 6pm. We decided to regroup in the morning at the hospital to discuss this turn of events. September 27, 2011 I was reading to my 4 year old (The Old Willis Place) and the phone rang. It was 9pm and I knew......I knew it was my dad and I didn't pick up the phone. I just let my husband answer it. I set the book down on the bed and waited for him to come up. I knew that nobody else would be calling that late and that the call could only mean one thing. It didn't take long for me to hear my husband coming up the stairs, I wanted him to stop but he just kept coming towards our room. Dammit. He said my dad had just gotten off the phone with Kennestone Hospital and mom crashed. Dad had to make a split second decision to let her go or put her on life support. My Aunt Gail, mom's sister was already on her way down and Dad said put her on life support so we can all say goodbye. The entire family drove over to mom and dad's apartment to be with my dad and then later went home. The hospital said we could not come up, we had to wait until morning. I was really distraught that I didn't know if my mom was alive or not. I mean, if she was already dead and they revived her was her soul put back in? Or, was she gone and God just let her soul stay with Him and let the body stay alive by the machines? I wanted to know where mom was and nobody knew. What really sent me over the edge was that when mom is in the hospital my dad never leaves her side. He sleeps in the room with her at all times except when she is in certain critical care units they won't let him. She's never alone though and she had to die alone that first night. I can't imagine how horrified she must have been to know dad never leaves her and she would have risen up to see nobody from her family there. That must have made her sad. The next day was horrendous. I didn't sleep of course and my eyes were so swollen from crying after hearing the news on the 27th that I couldn't even hardly see. That sucked too. She didn't die until 5:30 the next day in the afternoon. We all took turns breaking down and I'm 100% certain I had a nervous breakdown twice that day in her room. That must have really sucked for the other patients in critical care because I was sobbing and yelling very loudly. When I wasn't doing that dad was......thank goodness for my church family and for my Aunt Gail who were so wonderful.


I'm still devastated. I still cry every day. It will be 4 months Jan 28 2012.


6. Oct-Dec have just been filled with me and my husband trying to manage after both losing a parent 3 months apart from each other. Our business expanded and in Oct we moved into an office/warehouse. My husband is expanding even more as of Feb. Things business wise are looking promising but it's a lot of hard work and a challenging time because expanding things and starting a new business is not cheap so my cash flow is very limited while we do this. That's never fun but it's worth it of course. I believe in my husband, he is great.



7. Remember those 24 lbs I gained due to the shot? LOL, I'd like to say I have proof that stay at home wives are busy and DO WORK. Now that we have moved out of having an office in our home where I worked part time from home as well as taking care of the home and the 4 year old, I work in an office now 5 days a week. Guess what? Now that I'm not at home and "working" I gained 10 lbs since Oct 15 when we moved in there. Ha ha ha, I always told my husband I worked all day and now I have proof. Now that I'm sitting all day at my desk, I gain 10 lbs which just goes to show that when I was home I was moving all day. Ha, and take that to anyone who says SAHM's don't work. So I've gotten though the holidays now and have said enough is enough and I am back to working out every day again. I want my 34 lbs back off and I want to continue losing even more. It was hard work to get it off but I'll just have to do it again. It's all good as long as it comes off. I turned 42 in December. I hear that next year my birthday should be LOTS OF FUN since my birthday is December 21. As in December 21 2012, YES FOLKS, I am supposed to be getting the ultimate birthday party this year......you know since it's the end of the world and all ha ha. If any of you know me this end of the world thing may take on a new seriousness because just the fact that it would be taking place on my birthday may imply the possibility of it happening. After all, I'm not exactly known for my good luck and if the end of the world should come on any one's birthday, it would most certainly be mine. Yes indeedy. Stock up on your rice and guns. I have several guns if you need any and the zombies are coming for you. But if you turn into a zombie and try coming for me I should warn you that I am an excellent shot.



I'm hopeful that nobody will die this year. I'm hopeful that I just had a freak abnormal pap smear and in April my results will come back normal. I've never had an abnormal pap smear before and I'm freaked out. Lots of my friends tell me they've had them come back abnormal before. That's mildly helpful, to the most mildly mild extent that one can be mildly helpful. The year before I had my first mammogram (boob smashing fest) and that came back as abnormal in my left breast and I had a freak out about that but when I went in for the second mammogram (boob smashing fest part II) it came back as fine. I guess the left one has some fibrous tissue and la la la la la I quit listening to what she said after the words "It's not cancer" and "fibrous tissue" came out of her mouth because I passed out from relief.



What number are we on? Do I really want to scroll up to see? Okay, I'll stop being lazy. I'm scrolling now.Ha!!! I was gong to guess 8 and I was RIGHT.

8. I was asked to volunteer in the cafe at my church in September. That's actually pretty funny since anybody who knows me in real life, or is Facebook friends with me (feel free to send me a friend request, I'm told I'm funny and I can amuse you with my witty status updates that aren't too frequent I promise, lol.).....where were we anyway, oh yeah, the cafe......I hate cooking. I hate being in the kitchen although I am addicted to the Food Network channel and the cafe at church is the last place on earth you'd expect to see me volunteering!! But you know what? I love it. Oh, yeah, let me also say that even though I hate cooking with all of my being I still do it. My kids and my husband do need to eat and I value them more than my hatred for cooking so I do still do it. I'm not that selfish....but as far as the cafe goes, I really enjoy it. Probably because as luck would have it I don't have to do any cooking. We bring in McDonald's and I make coffee and we have tons of other stuff to sell to happy hungry church goers but whoopty doo I don't have to cook any of it. I so enjoy being there and talking to people from 9:30 until church starts at 11:00 when service starts. One of the other benefits of my cafe volunteering is that during praise and worship time (singing) I stay in the cafe and refill the fridge/coke sales cases and clean up. I usu sally get done putting the money away and lock up during the last song. This is great for me because I just haven't dealt with my grief enough yet and my emotions are so raw that I just cannot participate in praise and worship. I just can't do it. I'll completely fall apart. I spent so many years right next to my mom in church praising the Lord together and she loved that part of service so much that I just can't do it yet. Not yet. So this time in the cafe is really good for me. It keeps me sane and I get to talk to so many people in the church, I've made friends through this opportunity God and the church as given me and I'm grateful for that. I'm pretty reserved around people I don't know and being the lady at the food window there is no being reserved and since I feel comfortable, I'm pretty chatty. True Life Church is so friendly anyways, they love to love on people. I love it there so much. Yes I do.

Well, I think that's enough for now. I think I want to start blogging again. I miss it. I miss the free therapy lol. I think it's time to journal again. I've gone though a lot spiritually and I want to journal that too. So, it's good to be back after almost a year.

My mom's obituary....Rest in peace mom....I love you so much!!!!!!

Love ya,

Jenn