I noticed some things this weekend that really bothered me concerning intolerance. It was two fold in it it's intolerance. First I noticed this past weekend a surge of intolerance towards Christians. Second I noticed an intolerance of the haves towards the have nots and in that respect I do not mean money singularly.
Intolerance was at it's peak last night and this morning on my home page on Facebook. Goodness, people can be so mean.
Last night on FB was Christian bashing at it's best. Probably provoked by a posting of a poll on Christianity and the Christian bashing ensued. I laughed so hard when one of my old schoolmates said we were the intolerant ones and on self serving power trips. We are thirsty for power and control over others that do not agree with us fellow Christians. I wanted to tell him, um, it's the opposite dude. If we Christians were so power hungry we would still have prayer in schools, the 10 commandments would not be taken down from courthouses, our TV's would not be filled with filth. My husband can easily see 5 ladies half naked or in their bra and panties a day, way more than he sees his own wife in that condition. Yeah, Christians are so power hungry. What is he even talking about? If we were so power hungry we would be fighting more for an improved moral condition and to be strong in our faith instead of cowering because the other side yells intolerance and narrow mindedness. Yes, we are narrow minded, we are on the narrow road my pastor always says with a laugh. Too funny. I noticed it on the TV too, must be the holidays that make some get angry at God and Christians.
In my neck of the woods and on FB I also noticed a spike of intolerance towards anyone who was not living in "Happyville" or "My Life is Perfect Town". It was pretty comical on FB because of the month of thanks posts people were supposed to do in saying what they were thankful for. What a riot, half the time they would post what they were thankful for and then bash those who should also be thankful for that but aren't or chastised those who were upset and not joyful at each moment for their life and such. It was like every time I logged on I was met with "I am so thankful for.............. it's just too bad some other people can't appreciate .......... in their lives too." for example. Of course all these posters had no financial problems and have happy relationships with their spouses and their kids were all fine and dandy at that moment. So, I guess because they are in living in "Happytown" the rest of the world should be too? Fact is, the holidays can be a very difficult time for families. Considering the unemployment rate is in double digits and with Christmas looming finances are a HUGE stressor for families right now. Money also creates stress in marriages, fear of job losses or not finding a job creates even more stress. I would think those who have at the moment would be more compassionate of those who don't. I have noticed a great deal of intolerance when people try to talk to someone about their troubles and they are met with "well you just need to give it to God and be thankful for what you have!" and I have been horrified each time I hear this or hear about it. A few times I have just ushered the person chastised out of the room and I let them pour out their misery and tried to be actually helpful to them.
I would hope that if we are happy and doing fine we would not be telling those who are not to stop being ungrateful and get over themselves. Sometimes life is rough, sometimes it makes us weary. Look at the old hymnals..... such as I'll Fly Away..... "someday when this weary life is o-ver, I'll fly a-way." Jesus spoke about how many troubles life had too, sometimes life is troubling and to be troubled is hard enough. To be troubled and not have anyone to share your burdens with is even harder, sharing them and being met with intolerance is unbearable. Believe me, I know all about that.
I like the parable I read this morning about the good Samaritan. The traveler was beat up and left half dead in the street. Two oh so holy followers of God passed the guy by, it was the Samaritan who helped the poor guy out. My fellow Christians, I ask you not to judge those crying out for help or voicing their frustrations & PLEASE do not ignore those people. They are laying half dead in the street right in front of you, do you pretend you do not see the mess in front of you and skirt around that person? Or do we get our hands messy and stop to save a life. To give a hope, to comfort as we have been comforted. To bless as we have been blessed. To love, as we have been loved.
I guess that's all I had to say about that.
Jenn
Monday, November 30, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving!!
I just love a good Martha Stewart idea. We could do this with a quick trip to Michaels right?It is always fun for me to find some new cute idea for the table every year.
I hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day with your family & friends. Try not to spend too much time in the kitchen!!
I am thankful for all of you who come and visit with me.
Gobble Gobble,
Jenn
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Good Lord do I need to work out or WHAT? Shivers......Anyhoo, last night was a wonderful blessing for me. Several things were going on all at once and it was really just overwhelming but in a good way. Once again I was reminded (why do I keep needing to be reminded of this? Why do I forget?) that the most wonderful basics of my faith never change. I change but the Word does not.
I need to keep my Lord in every single thing I do, say and think. Why do I not remember to involve Him consistently with the things that are in my life? Yes, I was reminded of the need to do that last night.
I need to pray more. I have slacked from praying like I used to, much to my shame. I read, study, & have little chats with God but my prayer life as a whole is not what it should be and I can feel the effects of that. Yes in deed I can. God has been nudging me on that one & I have repented. Why do I think I am too busy to pray? Lately my mind can't stay focused enough to pray like I used to. Once again I was reminded that I need to control my mind and not let my mind control me. Thank you Lord.
Lexie was in a car accident yesterday. A lady in the lane next to the car she was in with two other teenagers did not see them and she tried to move into their lane & hit them. Nobody was hurt but all were badly shaken. I am so grateful that our last words to each other as she left were "I love you." I was reminded that I have no guarantee that when one of us walks out our door to leave that we will also return. I am so grateful for my family. Why am I not praying more for safety for my children like I used to?
I was also reminded that if we want to feel good about ourselves we should do something nice for someone else. It works, truly it does. If we need to feel encouraged, encourage someone else. Last night I chatted with my husband & he needed some encouragement. He needed his Ezer to sustain him, to strengthen him. He needed me to help him carry on. (That is the kind of "help" we are to be!! Sustainers, a source of strength and the foundation of our homes, not servants and dishwashers. Oh, how I love this definition of woman.... Ezer Kenegdo. So glad I studied the Hebrew wording of how we got the words "help meet"!! Knowing my true purpose as a woman has meant the world to me.) But God has answered my prayers and continues to do so as I have asked the Lord to truly show me what it means to be an Ezer Kenegdo. I encouraged him with my words but still there was more to do. This morning I was up very early and as I put in my contact lenses I asked myself what I could do to lift his spirits and send him off encouraged. As I thought this I looked at my bathroom counter and it was a bit messy. Mike likes a clean bathroom and the counter clear of clutter. In 5 minutes everything was put away, the counters were spotless (I keep Lysol cleaning clothes under the counter.) and the floor was tidied. Yes, the very first place he would go this morning would be spotless and smell clean. I knew that would perk him up. I made coffee and purposefully spent my normal "computer time with my coffee" with him instead. I prayed hard for him and spent the morning feeding him some bread of life, God's word, and speaking positively about the future. He left happy people. Happy and hopeful. Yes, that is an Ezer at work. Thank you Lord!!! Yes, I can do that for my man. Guess what, I feel great now too! There is always hope in the Lord. There is always hope in service and helping others.
I was reminded that no matter what is happening, no matter how busy I am that I am NEVER too busy to call upon the Lord in all things. I need to keep my prayer time a priority. I need to keep thanking the Lord all day long. I need to be a strength and a sustainer and I can't do that if I am only focused on "me" and "my" issues or my busy little self. I need to take time for me of course, but not just me. I need to focus on each individual person in my home too and take the time to pray for each one of them, to talk to each one of them and encourage them each day. I need to not deplete myself or I cannot be a strength or a sustainer for them. Yes, I need to take better care of myself also. There is a truth in the following saying which is why it is so funny also: "If momma ain't happy, nobodies happy." Momma needs to keep herself maintained, groomed, fit, well fed on the word and prayed up! Hallelujah! I feel good Lord. You are so wonderful to me even though all my good deeds are as filthy rags, you love me, you love all of us so much!
I stood in the gap for my husband this morning and prayed hard for him. I cast his cares & anxieties on Jesus for him. Would you mind praying for him also? I would really love it if you would. I hope all of you have a wonderful day today!
Jenn
Monday, November 23, 2009
What I Have Learned About Women & Marriage
Well, after a pretty exhaustive study on woman & marriage I have come to a few conclusions.
1. There is no concensus among all Christians as to the state of equality or inferiority of woman.
2. I can see where God created us equal as people deserving the same respect, love, rights, ability to care and be cared for as men and women. We were both created in God's image & both given the command to rule & subdue the earth & procreate.
3. The above facts do not mean that man still does not have the responsibility of leadership. God did create Adam first and give him the responsibility to name the animals & such, he also was instructed to care for the garden. He was also the first person God goes to after Adam & Eve sinned. He was held responsible for listening to his wife & not holding to what God told him. This may indicate that he was the responsible leader & not his wife or it may not. However, Satan always wanting to disrupt what God intends went to the woman to entice first, not the man. He was most likely trying to disrupt the leadership order between man and woman and also with humans and God.
4. We are more defined by who we are in Christ than by whether we are a man or a woman. Men and women have equal claim to all the scriptures that say who we are in Christ. Those scriptures are listed in statement form on my sidebar. My children and I read them aloud to settle that identity deep within us.
5. Genesis 3:16 is incredibly hard to define in the Hebrew & there is much arguing and debate of the exact meaning over a woman desiring her husband & what it means to rule over her. Genesis 4:7 & once more in Song of Solomon are the only 3 places that the hebrew word of desire is used here. In Song of Solomon it is used as sexual desire but a longing for nonetheless. Gen 4:7 it is a desire to conquer. Hence the argument over whether Eve's desire is a sexual longing or a desire to overcome and dominate her husband. He will rule over her is the same hebrew wording for Gen 4:7 where Cain is told to rule over his desire to sin. Translating the Hebrew of 3:16 is very hard to do in English so the translators did it word for word.
6. God wants us to be happy people. This indicates that he does not want us to cause harm & unhappiness on anyone. We should be mutaully lifting up, loving, respecting and caring for our spouses. We should not even bother with being concerned about who is superior or inferior if that is even the case at all. We should consistently do unto others as we would have them do unto us.
7. Ezer Kenegdo does not mean help mate/help meet/ helper comparible. Women are created to be Ezer kenegdos. Ezer means a strength, a power or to save. Kenegdo means equal to, alongside, counterpart. Counterpart is my favorite defintion of kenegdo. Counterpart means:1 : one of two corresponding copies of a legal instrument : duplicate
2 a : a thing that fits another perfectly b : something that completes : complement
3 a : one remarkably similar to another b : one having the same function or characteristics as another
8. I believe God will use any willing vessel regardless of sex.
9. I believe we are supposed to enjoy each other.
10. Women were not created to do it all. We laughed at the last study in my ladies group about the following. In respect to the term help meet, how are you helping the man if you are doing everything? If a woman works full time like her husband then it would be completely ridiculuous for her to also do all the housework, child care, school responsibilities, shopping, etc. In this case, doesn't she need a help meet?
If she is doing it all, she isn't helping anybody. Help refers to a mutual work happening.
11. Men and women are confused as a whole to the responsibilities each bear in the home and marriage. Especially if the woman works full time.
12. We would all be happier if we would just be nice to our spouses and everyone around us. We should try to do nice things for our family members in our home. We should be just as concerned about their well being as ours. We should rely on the strengths of the man and the woman as individuals in the marriage.
13. Being a woman does not infer being responsible to do all the cleaning,cooking & laundry. Even the proverbs woman had servant girls. Woman was not created to do everything domestic. That is a societal influence.
14. The happiest times in my marriage are when my husband has taken on the leadership role in a loving way & his solid leading & loving attitude for me and the children made me want to do all the things that I know made him happy & eased the strains of life for him. He gave me the love & security I desired & I in turn was happy to do what I could to make his life better. Our mutal affection & respect spilled over into how we spoke to/cared for our kids and we were all a happy family. When this relationship has gotten out of order, it all gets out of order. When he treats my stay at home status as my wife is my maid, I do not want to please him at all. When he lovingly appreciates what I do and trys to give me "breaks from the kids" & does an occassional chore I would normally do it shows me he wants me to be happy and that he respects what I do and that he is not above it. When he feels like I am being bossy he rebels against it also. Mutual respect, mutual give and take and trying actively to show that love and respect is key.
15. I don't have a problem with men claiming a leadership role. I have a problem with men who abuse it. I have a problem with women who think they have to do everything and that their husbands do not have to do anything for them. I am a very smart lady and I am fully capable of doing anything I put my mind to. What matters is how I treat people and how I allow them to treat me. This is what effects my happiness, not how equal to I am to anybody.
16. I have also learned how important it is to study the Hebrew wording when we study the Bible! I cannot emphasize that enough.
I would love to ask the question if anybody else has enjoyed these posts on women but oddly enough.... the visits to the ole blog have been way down. I am wondering if I have just become boring or if I have offended people? Well, I do not offend easily so if I have been a doo doo head you can feel free to comment anonomously and let me know.
Love y'all,
Jenn
1. There is no concensus among all Christians as to the state of equality or inferiority of woman.
2. I can see where God created us equal as people deserving the same respect, love, rights, ability to care and be cared for as men and women. We were both created in God's image & both given the command to rule & subdue the earth & procreate.
3. The above facts do not mean that man still does not have the responsibility of leadership. God did create Adam first and give him the responsibility to name the animals & such, he also was instructed to care for the garden. He was also the first person God goes to after Adam & Eve sinned. He was held responsible for listening to his wife & not holding to what God told him. This may indicate that he was the responsible leader & not his wife or it may not. However, Satan always wanting to disrupt what God intends went to the woman to entice first, not the man. He was most likely trying to disrupt the leadership order between man and woman and also with humans and God.
4. We are more defined by who we are in Christ than by whether we are a man or a woman. Men and women have equal claim to all the scriptures that say who we are in Christ. Those scriptures are listed in statement form on my sidebar. My children and I read them aloud to settle that identity deep within us.
5. Genesis 3:16 is incredibly hard to define in the Hebrew & there is much arguing and debate of the exact meaning over a woman desiring her husband & what it means to rule over her. Genesis 4:7 & once more in Song of Solomon are the only 3 places that the hebrew word of desire is used here. In Song of Solomon it is used as sexual desire but a longing for nonetheless. Gen 4:7 it is a desire to conquer. Hence the argument over whether Eve's desire is a sexual longing or a desire to overcome and dominate her husband. He will rule over her is the same hebrew wording for Gen 4:7 where Cain is told to rule over his desire to sin. Translating the Hebrew of 3:16 is very hard to do in English so the translators did it word for word.
6. God wants us to be happy people. This indicates that he does not want us to cause harm & unhappiness on anyone. We should be mutaully lifting up, loving, respecting and caring for our spouses. We should not even bother with being concerned about who is superior or inferior if that is even the case at all. We should consistently do unto others as we would have them do unto us.
7. Ezer Kenegdo does not mean help mate/help meet/ helper comparible. Women are created to be Ezer kenegdos. Ezer means a strength, a power or to save. Kenegdo means equal to, alongside, counterpart. Counterpart is my favorite defintion of kenegdo. Counterpart means:1 : one of two corresponding copies of a legal instrument : duplicate
2 a : a thing that fits another perfectly b : something that completes : complement
3 a : one remarkably similar to another b : one having the same function or characteristics as another
8. I believe God will use any willing vessel regardless of sex.
9. I believe we are supposed to enjoy each other.
10. Women were not created to do it all. We laughed at the last study in my ladies group about the following. In respect to the term help meet, how are you helping the man if you are doing everything? If a woman works full time like her husband then it would be completely ridiculuous for her to also do all the housework, child care, school responsibilities, shopping, etc. In this case, doesn't she need a help meet?
If she is doing it all, she isn't helping anybody. Help refers to a mutual work happening.
11. Men and women are confused as a whole to the responsibilities each bear in the home and marriage. Especially if the woman works full time.
12. We would all be happier if we would just be nice to our spouses and everyone around us. We should try to do nice things for our family members in our home. We should be just as concerned about their well being as ours. We should rely on the strengths of the man and the woman as individuals in the marriage.
13. Being a woman does not infer being responsible to do all the cleaning,cooking & laundry. Even the proverbs woman had servant girls. Woman was not created to do everything domestic. That is a societal influence.
14. The happiest times in my marriage are when my husband has taken on the leadership role in a loving way & his solid leading & loving attitude for me and the children made me want to do all the things that I know made him happy & eased the strains of life for him. He gave me the love & security I desired & I in turn was happy to do what I could to make his life better. Our mutal affection & respect spilled over into how we spoke to/cared for our kids and we were all a happy family. When this relationship has gotten out of order, it all gets out of order. When he treats my stay at home status as my wife is my maid, I do not want to please him at all. When he lovingly appreciates what I do and trys to give me "breaks from the kids" & does an occassional chore I would normally do it shows me he wants me to be happy and that he respects what I do and that he is not above it. When he feels like I am being bossy he rebels against it also. Mutual respect, mutual give and take and trying actively to show that love and respect is key.
15. I don't have a problem with men claiming a leadership role. I have a problem with men who abuse it. I have a problem with women who think they have to do everything and that their husbands do not have to do anything for them. I am a very smart lady and I am fully capable of doing anything I put my mind to. What matters is how I treat people and how I allow them to treat me. This is what effects my happiness, not how equal to I am to anybody.
16. I have also learned how important it is to study the Hebrew wording when we study the Bible! I cannot emphasize that enough.
I would love to ask the question if anybody else has enjoyed these posts on women but oddly enough.... the visits to the ole blog have been way down. I am wondering if I have just become boring or if I have offended people? Well, I do not offend easily so if I have been a doo doo head you can feel free to comment anonomously and let me know.
Love y'all,
Jenn
Something I never noticed before.....
I was just studying Genesis 3:16 & realized something I have never noticed before. When God is punishing the serpent, Adam & Eve all three punishments involve seed.
The serpent will be crushed by the seed of the woman.
When the woman is bringing forth seed, it will be in great pain.
The man will no longer be able to bring forth the seed he plants easily.
Hmmmmm......
The serpent will be crushed by the seed of the woman.
When the woman is bringing forth seed, it will be in great pain.
The man will no longer be able to bring forth the seed he plants easily.
Hmmmmm......
Saturday, November 21, 2009
A Great Post On Marriage Written By A Man
I just saw this & I had to share since I have been writing on women and marriage all week. This is just the most perfect way to wrap it up. How a man changed his marrige for the better. I LOVED IT!!! Hope you do too.
Why You Need a Double Standard
Expecting more of yourself and less of your mate can do wonders for your marriage
by Gary Thomas
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You brought them home hungry?" Lisa asked.
I stared at my wife, dumbfounded.
"It's 7:45, and you brought them home hungry?" she asked again.
I tried to come up with a good excuse. "Well, I, uh, you see . …" I gave up. "Yeah, I guess I did."
I thought I had done Lisa a favor. I took the kids for the evening so she could have a night off. I wanted her to eat dinner while reading a magazine and rediscover that, in some corners of the world, there still remains a phenomenon called "silence."
Now I was back home, and all the self-righteous defenses came rushing to my mind. "Here I try to give you an evening off, and you get upset just because the kids want a little snack! You know our kids—they need to eat every seven minutes!"
Instead of voicing that, however, I took a walk and did some praying. "Okay, God, what are we going to talk about tonight?"
A clear thought came into my mind: How can you love your wife better? God was pushing me to come up with ways I could make Lisa's life easier. And it wasn't anything as simple as buying another piece of lingerie ("Gary, this is for her, not for you"). Instead, they were eminently practical changes: I could make the kids' lunches. I could take them out one evening a week and bring them home with full stomachs. I could get them ready for bed at least three nights a week.
I felt the Lord teaching me that the happiest husband is the one who lives with a double standard—he's tough on himself and easy on his wife.
Meeting the Standard
I spent the first few days of our marriage adding up the pluses and minuses of our various personality traits. The problem was, I spent too much time on my pluses and Lisa's minuses. Then I read a passage written by John Owen, one of the great Puritan scholars: "The person who understands the evil in his own heart is the only person who is useful, fruitful and solid in his beliefs and obedience. Others only delude themselves and thus upset families, churches and all other relationships. In their self-pride and judgment of others, they show great inconsistency."
I realized I was deluded by my sense of self-righteousness. Rather than focusing on what Lisa could improve, I should have been on my knees, begging God to change me. This thought was magnified one morning when I was praying through Scripture. All of a sudden, a question startled me: "Does Lisa see Jesus in me?"
Scripture reminds us, again and again, that our goal as Christians is to become more like Christ. In Ephesians 5:1 we read, "Be imitators of God." Elsewhere, Paul wrote, "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son" (Rom. 8:29). As I grow in relationship to Christ, my wife should be able to notice at least some family resemblance. God was showing me that I had fallen short of improving myself for my wife's sake.
"But wait!" the selfish me wanted to cry out. "What about her? " But then I remembered a passage written by William Law, an eighteenth-century Anglican: "No one is of the Spirit of Christ but he that has the utmost compassion for sinners. Nor is there any greater sign of your own perfection than you find yourself all love and compassion toward them that are very weak and defective. And on the other hand, you have never less reason to be pleased with yourself than when you find yourself most angry and offended at the behavior of others."
That was the holy double standard I needed. As I become more unyielding and aggressive in attacking my own sins and weaknesses, I must extend more and more grace and gentleness toward others in theirs.
Back at the Home Office
When I became self-employed and decided to work out of our home, the double standard turned into more than just a good idea. We live, with our three children, in a townhouse—which meant our bedroom would have to double as my office. When people find out what we're doing, they're amazed. "And you still like each other?" they ask.
In fact, working at home has done wonders for our marriage. For the first time, I could see what it was like to spend an entire day being Lisa. Oh, I used to watch her in action every weekend. But what makes her life difficult isn't an occasional 48-hour stretch. It's the day-in and day-out responsibility of raising three kids. It's the pressure of getting the homeschooling lessons done, while lunches need to be made and clothes need to be washed and kids need to be chauffeured to ballet and soccer practice.
At the same time, Lisa saw what it was like for me to sit for hours in front of a computer, writing articles and speeches, and keeping up with all the paperwork involved in my business. Some days I was tired or sick. Sometimes the weather outside was beautiful, but always I stayed in my chair. She saw my determination and the pressure of meeting deadlines and taking on assignments I wasn't sure I could handle, but I was really sure we needed the paycheck.
Lisa and I began to develop an empathy for each other, and it improved our exercise of the double standard. As I understand the challenges Lisa faces, I'm more likely to "go easy" on her. I'm learning to make excuses for my wife the way I so easily make them for myself: "Look, I just finished a really intense assignment; I need to veg out." Now I prod myself: "She's had a tough day, Gary. Get the kids out of the house and give her some time to herself."
Looking Out for Number Two
Here's what I found out: Applying a double standard often leads to receiving a double standard. As I have become more generous toward Lisa, I've noticed that she has become more generous toward me. I recently returned from a trip feeling as if I'd walked every one of the 400 miles I had just driven. I had spoken six times in four days and driven through four states. I pulled into our driveway thinking, "I'm so tired. All I want to do is watch a late football game."
But as I came through the door, I knew Lisa was thinking, "Good, he's home. I've had the kids to myself all weekend and they're driving me crazy." This is the stuff colossal marriage fights are made of.
But then I discovered Lisa and I had both changed. I pulled out the flavored popcorn I'd brought home for the kids, and we talked at the kitchen table as they ate. I noticed Lisa was being incredibly sensitive toward me.
"You've got to be exhausted," she said. "Let me take care of the kids tonight."
But hearing her say that made me want to care for the kids. She was being hard on herself and easy on me, which made me want to be hard on myself and easy on her. That's when I realized: "This double standard business really does build stronger marriages."
If each of us assumes our spouse has it the hardest and that we miss the mark most frequently—and act accordingly—we'll find a mix that's just about right. When we adopt this double standard, we find that encouragement replaces accusation, appreciation replaces resentfulness and understanding replaces judgment. And isn't that the type of marriage we're all looking for?
Gary Thomas is a writer and speaker. He and Lisa and their three children live in Manassas, Virginia.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright © 1997 by Christianity Today International/Marriage Partnership Magazine.
Spring 1997, Vol. 14, No. 1, Page 8
Why You Need a Double Standard
Expecting more of yourself and less of your mate can do wonders for your marriage
by Gary Thomas
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You brought them home hungry?" Lisa asked.
I stared at my wife, dumbfounded.
"It's 7:45, and you brought them home hungry?" she asked again.
I tried to come up with a good excuse. "Well, I, uh, you see . …" I gave up. "Yeah, I guess I did."
I thought I had done Lisa a favor. I took the kids for the evening so she could have a night off. I wanted her to eat dinner while reading a magazine and rediscover that, in some corners of the world, there still remains a phenomenon called "silence."
Now I was back home, and all the self-righteous defenses came rushing to my mind. "Here I try to give you an evening off, and you get upset just because the kids want a little snack! You know our kids—they need to eat every seven minutes!"
Instead of voicing that, however, I took a walk and did some praying. "Okay, God, what are we going to talk about tonight?"
A clear thought came into my mind: How can you love your wife better? God was pushing me to come up with ways I could make Lisa's life easier. And it wasn't anything as simple as buying another piece of lingerie ("Gary, this is for her, not for you"). Instead, they were eminently practical changes: I could make the kids' lunches. I could take them out one evening a week and bring them home with full stomachs. I could get them ready for bed at least three nights a week.
I felt the Lord teaching me that the happiest husband is the one who lives with a double standard—he's tough on himself and easy on his wife.
Meeting the Standard
I spent the first few days of our marriage adding up the pluses and minuses of our various personality traits. The problem was, I spent too much time on my pluses and Lisa's minuses. Then I read a passage written by John Owen, one of the great Puritan scholars: "The person who understands the evil in his own heart is the only person who is useful, fruitful and solid in his beliefs and obedience. Others only delude themselves and thus upset families, churches and all other relationships. In their self-pride and judgment of others, they show great inconsistency."
I realized I was deluded by my sense of self-righteousness. Rather than focusing on what Lisa could improve, I should have been on my knees, begging God to change me. This thought was magnified one morning when I was praying through Scripture. All of a sudden, a question startled me: "Does Lisa see Jesus in me?"
Scripture reminds us, again and again, that our goal as Christians is to become more like Christ. In Ephesians 5:1 we read, "Be imitators of God." Elsewhere, Paul wrote, "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son" (Rom. 8:29). As I grow in relationship to Christ, my wife should be able to notice at least some family resemblance. God was showing me that I had fallen short of improving myself for my wife's sake.
"But wait!" the selfish me wanted to cry out. "What about her? " But then I remembered a passage written by William Law, an eighteenth-century Anglican: "No one is of the Spirit of Christ but he that has the utmost compassion for sinners. Nor is there any greater sign of your own perfection than you find yourself all love and compassion toward them that are very weak and defective. And on the other hand, you have never less reason to be pleased with yourself than when you find yourself most angry and offended at the behavior of others."
That was the holy double standard I needed. As I become more unyielding and aggressive in attacking my own sins and weaknesses, I must extend more and more grace and gentleness toward others in theirs.
Back at the Home Office
When I became self-employed and decided to work out of our home, the double standard turned into more than just a good idea. We live, with our three children, in a townhouse—which meant our bedroom would have to double as my office. When people find out what we're doing, they're amazed. "And you still like each other?" they ask.
In fact, working at home has done wonders for our marriage. For the first time, I could see what it was like to spend an entire day being Lisa. Oh, I used to watch her in action every weekend. But what makes her life difficult isn't an occasional 48-hour stretch. It's the day-in and day-out responsibility of raising three kids. It's the pressure of getting the homeschooling lessons done, while lunches need to be made and clothes need to be washed and kids need to be chauffeured to ballet and soccer practice.
At the same time, Lisa saw what it was like for me to sit for hours in front of a computer, writing articles and speeches, and keeping up with all the paperwork involved in my business. Some days I was tired or sick. Sometimes the weather outside was beautiful, but always I stayed in my chair. She saw my determination and the pressure of meeting deadlines and taking on assignments I wasn't sure I could handle, but I was really sure we needed the paycheck.
Lisa and I began to develop an empathy for each other, and it improved our exercise of the double standard. As I understand the challenges Lisa faces, I'm more likely to "go easy" on her. I'm learning to make excuses for my wife the way I so easily make them for myself: "Look, I just finished a really intense assignment; I need to veg out." Now I prod myself: "She's had a tough day, Gary. Get the kids out of the house and give her some time to herself."
Looking Out for Number Two
Here's what I found out: Applying a double standard often leads to receiving a double standard. As I have become more generous toward Lisa, I've noticed that she has become more generous toward me. I recently returned from a trip feeling as if I'd walked every one of the 400 miles I had just driven. I had spoken six times in four days and driven through four states. I pulled into our driveway thinking, "I'm so tired. All I want to do is watch a late football game."
But as I came through the door, I knew Lisa was thinking, "Good, he's home. I've had the kids to myself all weekend and they're driving me crazy." This is the stuff colossal marriage fights are made of.
But then I discovered Lisa and I had both changed. I pulled out the flavored popcorn I'd brought home for the kids, and we talked at the kitchen table as they ate. I noticed Lisa was being incredibly sensitive toward me.
"You've got to be exhausted," she said. "Let me take care of the kids tonight."
But hearing her say that made me want to care for the kids. She was being hard on herself and easy on me, which made me want to be hard on myself and easy on her. That's when I realized: "This double standard business really does build stronger marriages."
If each of us assumes our spouse has it the hardest and that we miss the mark most frequently—and act accordingly—we'll find a mix that's just about right. When we adopt this double standard, we find that encouragement replaces accusation, appreciation replaces resentfulness and understanding replaces judgment. And isn't that the type of marriage we're all looking for?
Gary Thomas is a writer and speaker. He and Lisa and their three children live in Manassas, Virginia.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright © 1997 by Christianity Today International/Marriage Partnership Magazine.
Spring 1997, Vol. 14, No. 1, Page 8
Friday, November 20, 2009
Ezer Kenegdo Discussion Part 3
Yesterday's post helped bring some things together for me as I was writing. I am always one to get into deep thought & study on things & this topic has been fun for me. I was wanting to talk about God's image today. That when God created man & woman he also created us to reflect His image in different ways. Many people think that for man & woman to be equals they have to be the same. Not true. We are equal but we are made to complimemt each other. We are corresponding pieces to each other. We are meant to work together as men & women both have different strengths that together work beautifully as one.
Yesterday I briefly brought up romance & how women just love romance. God is the ultimate romantic! That is a part of who God is that women reflect.
Women are all about the journey, men are all about the end goal. We love to dream as little girls about who we will marry, what will our life be like, when will I find Mr. Right & all the glorious things a little girl can dream of her life being like with her husband. God is all about the journey too. Can't you just see Him looking down on us and desiring the day when we will find Him. He longs for all the things that we will do with Him, He longs to live in us & send us His Holy Spirit. Yes, God loves the journey also. Another part of God's heart we reflect. Men like to make fun of us for our romanticism but you know ladies, that is part of God & His image that He gave to us. I asked my husband a few years back if he could be more romantic & he looked at me very confused and said "But I already did that?" So I was thinking "You aren't supposed to stop dear." Hence the truth in women love the journey and men the end goal. He romanced me & he got me. He was done.
Men need women and women need men. We are not meant to be alone. The gift of marriage is a precious one & yet half or more of marriages end in divorce. I wonder how many times I have heard people say that marriage should only last legally 5 years and then it has to be renewed or it expires. I believe there have been bills crafted in our Congress to this effect but they always get shot down & not put to a vote. The point is that the sanctity of marriage is no longer sanctified to many of us. We as a society do not treat it as the precious gift that it is.
Ultimately if we are to have happy marriages we need to love & respect each other, we need to be concerned with our spouses happiness & seek to please them. This is a two way street. Women and men have different love languages & if I am to show my love for my husband then I need to do something that he will appreciate and enjoy. I need to not just say I love you to him, men want respect more than love according to just about everyone & the bible even says women respect your husbands and husbands love your wives. So when I say "Honey, I am so proud of you." to him I just said "I love you." When I say "Honey, the yard looks great!" after he mows to him I just said "I love you." For me, he needs to say "I love you." not a thumbs up on the yummy pot roast. He needs to make an effort to spend time alone with me or compliment me on the things I do & I need to do that for him. I need to be just as concerned about his happiness as mine if not more and he needs to be just as concerned about my happiness as his if not more. What ever we do we should do as unto the Lord. Yes, even in our marriages.
Here is another journey/end goal example. Men (mostly) want sex. Women (mostly) are too tired & don't. Especially women who work & have lazy husbands who do not fulfill what they should around the house. Being about the journey..... we want them to have done someting nice for us or said some nice things to us throughout the day to you know, um, maybe put our minds in the mood? Sex for women begins in the mind. But, if they want to achieve their end goal they need to get off the lazy boy, ha ha and do some work around the house & start complimenting their wives. I'll never forget the man who every single Friday stopped by the floral dept. at p@blix where I was a produce manager. He always came and got me because I would wrap his flowers special & make pretty bows for him. He bought his wife soemthing different every Friday but he always came home with some type of flower bouquet. He did not want them in the plastic wrapper they come in, he wanted to make it special for his wife. First it was a beautiful gesture to stop on his way home & buy her flowers. But don't think for a second that this woman did not realize that he had to go a step further by asking someone to wrap flowers special for him & make a special bow. He was truly showing her his love for her by making it speical & personalized. She had a great love of fresh flowers & he brought them to her to make her happy. He did joke to me once that it was not only worth the time & expense to make her happy because in return she made him a very happy man & he said this with a BIG GRIN! Meaning, well you know. He was well supplied shall we say by his wife who in return loved him back the way he wanted. Hee hee hee.
Some people are lucky enough to have marriages that do function this way. I have heard from two of you that have said so and I would love to tell you how happy I am for you!! What a treasure! Unfortunately this is not the case for the majority. Also, I just can't emphasize enough that marriage is not about the woman "doing for her man" as this study as taken me. It is about a joint love effort. God did not make us to be servants or to be told to know our place as I have heard countless times from ladies. I know a woman whose husband makes terrible financial decisions & keeps their home in poverty because of his wild spending. She says because he is the head of their home that she cannot say anything. Sigh. Good grief. Girl, yes you can! We are Ezer Kenegdo's not doormats, not servants & this whole women are less than stuff makes me crazy.
It truly does! For instance yesterday I worked hard around the house. I dove into the kids playroom where surely something could have eaten me. Dangerous territory!! I cleaned & shined stuff. I lit candles to make the home smell nice like I do every day. I laundred & put clothes away. Took care of a dog I don't like.... & then shuttled 2 kids to karate to return at a what was almost "dinner time". I left every single ingredient out for dinner except the chicken out on the counter. Hint hint. Well I returned home & nothing had been cooked even though a capable husband who did not work yesterday & a 17 year old were home watching TV. I told them all I was not cooking their dinner & they could eat frozen pizzas. Hmph. I deserved better & I let them know it. Nothing wrong with that.
It's funny because I taught on this defintion of woman & chatted about it with other ladies I know & several women have told me that they had been "secretly having these thoughts" and they felt so happy to know other women thought these things too. I was so happy to have opened this discussion but so saddened too at the state some women live in. Why also do we as Christians (some of us) create and environment where we cannot talk to our Christian friends about theology we have a hard time with, such as the whole help meet thing. They never said anything & just lived like they thought they were supposed to and you know what? They don't like it one bit. They serve and serve and do and do and I asked does your husband do anything special for you also? Sadly the answer was no. Um, I had to control my tongue. But we discussed ways to change that. We are special, men are special and we need to treat each other as such.
Well, my Braxton turns 3 today so I am off to play with my birthday boy!!! I hope you all have a wonderful day as I know I will. I can't believe my baby is growing up!! Alas, before he leaves home my now 17 year old will probably be supplying me with grandchildren to play with. :)
Share
Yesterday I briefly brought up romance & how women just love romance. God is the ultimate romantic! That is a part of who God is that women reflect.
Women are all about the journey, men are all about the end goal. We love to dream as little girls about who we will marry, what will our life be like, when will I find Mr. Right & all the glorious things a little girl can dream of her life being like with her husband. God is all about the journey too. Can't you just see Him looking down on us and desiring the day when we will find Him. He longs for all the things that we will do with Him, He longs to live in us & send us His Holy Spirit. Yes, God loves the journey also. Another part of God's heart we reflect. Men like to make fun of us for our romanticism but you know ladies, that is part of God & His image that He gave to us. I asked my husband a few years back if he could be more romantic & he looked at me very confused and said "But I already did that?" So I was thinking "You aren't supposed to stop dear." Hence the truth in women love the journey and men the end goal. He romanced me & he got me. He was done.
Men need women and women need men. We are not meant to be alone. The gift of marriage is a precious one & yet half or more of marriages end in divorce. I wonder how many times I have heard people say that marriage should only last legally 5 years and then it has to be renewed or it expires. I believe there have been bills crafted in our Congress to this effect but they always get shot down & not put to a vote. The point is that the sanctity of marriage is no longer sanctified to many of us. We as a society do not treat it as the precious gift that it is.
Ultimately if we are to have happy marriages we need to love & respect each other, we need to be concerned with our spouses happiness & seek to please them. This is a two way street. Women and men have different love languages & if I am to show my love for my husband then I need to do something that he will appreciate and enjoy. I need to not just say I love you to him, men want respect more than love according to just about everyone & the bible even says women respect your husbands and husbands love your wives. So when I say "Honey, I am so proud of you." to him I just said "I love you." When I say "Honey, the yard looks great!" after he mows to him I just said "I love you." For me, he needs to say "I love you." not a thumbs up on the yummy pot roast. He needs to make an effort to spend time alone with me or compliment me on the things I do & I need to do that for him. I need to be just as concerned about his happiness as mine if not more and he needs to be just as concerned about my happiness as his if not more. What ever we do we should do as unto the Lord. Yes, even in our marriages.
Here is another journey/end goal example. Men (mostly) want sex. Women (mostly) are too tired & don't. Especially women who work & have lazy husbands who do not fulfill what they should around the house. Being about the journey..... we want them to have done someting nice for us or said some nice things to us throughout the day to you know, um, maybe put our minds in the mood? Sex for women begins in the mind. But, if they want to achieve their end goal they need to get off the lazy boy, ha ha and do some work around the house & start complimenting their wives. I'll never forget the man who every single Friday stopped by the floral dept. at p@blix where I was a produce manager. He always came and got me because I would wrap his flowers special & make pretty bows for him. He bought his wife soemthing different every Friday but he always came home with some type of flower bouquet. He did not want them in the plastic wrapper they come in, he wanted to make it special for his wife. First it was a beautiful gesture to stop on his way home & buy her flowers. But don't think for a second that this woman did not realize that he had to go a step further by asking someone to wrap flowers special for him & make a special bow. He was truly showing her his love for her by making it speical & personalized. She had a great love of fresh flowers & he brought them to her to make her happy. He did joke to me once that it was not only worth the time & expense to make her happy because in return she made him a very happy man & he said this with a BIG GRIN! Meaning, well you know. He was well supplied shall we say by his wife who in return loved him back the way he wanted. Hee hee hee.
Some people are lucky enough to have marriages that do function this way. I have heard from two of you that have said so and I would love to tell you how happy I am for you!! What a treasure! Unfortunately this is not the case for the majority. Also, I just can't emphasize enough that marriage is not about the woman "doing for her man" as this study as taken me. It is about a joint love effort. God did not make us to be servants or to be told to know our place as I have heard countless times from ladies. I know a woman whose husband makes terrible financial decisions & keeps their home in poverty because of his wild spending. She says because he is the head of their home that she cannot say anything. Sigh. Good grief. Girl, yes you can! We are Ezer Kenegdo's not doormats, not servants & this whole women are less than stuff makes me crazy.
It truly does! For instance yesterday I worked hard around the house. I dove into the kids playroom where surely something could have eaten me. Dangerous territory!! I cleaned & shined stuff. I lit candles to make the home smell nice like I do every day. I laundred & put clothes away. Took care of a dog I don't like.... & then shuttled 2 kids to karate to return at a what was almost "dinner time". I left every single ingredient out for dinner except the chicken out on the counter. Hint hint. Well I returned home & nothing had been cooked even though a capable husband who did not work yesterday & a 17 year old were home watching TV. I told them all I was not cooking their dinner & they could eat frozen pizzas. Hmph. I deserved better & I let them know it. Nothing wrong with that.
It's funny because I taught on this defintion of woman & chatted about it with other ladies I know & several women have told me that they had been "secretly having these thoughts" and they felt so happy to know other women thought these things too. I was so happy to have opened this discussion but so saddened too at the state some women live in. Why also do we as Christians (some of us) create and environment where we cannot talk to our Christian friends about theology we have a hard time with, such as the whole help meet thing. They never said anything & just lived like they thought they were supposed to and you know what? They don't like it one bit. They serve and serve and do and do and I asked does your husband do anything special for you also? Sadly the answer was no. Um, I had to control my tongue. But we discussed ways to change that. We are special, men are special and we need to treat each other as such.
Well, my Braxton turns 3 today so I am off to play with my birthday boy!!! I hope you all have a wonderful day as I know I will. I can't believe my baby is growing up!! Alas, before he leaves home my now 17 year old will probably be supplying me with grandchildren to play with. :)
Share
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Woman, Man's Ezer. What Does That Mean?
I shared in yesterday's post that in Genesis 2:18 God says in the original Hebrew text that He says He will create an Ezer Kenegdo for Adam. Help meet was translated from these words. We discussed the definitions of the two words. To do a short recap Ezer means to save, to be strong & powerful. Kenegdo means equal to, alsongside, counterpart to make it short. Please read yesterdays post for more intensive definition discussion. I also shared that the word Ezer is in the Old Testament 21 times. One time it is God referencing the creation of woman & the other 20 times it is reference to God himself being an Ezer to mankind. Eight of the twenty times God is the lifesaver to man who is calling upon God in a life & death circumstance & God is their only lifesaving hope. The other twelve times God is mankind's strength & sustainer. I wanted to share some of the verses I was able to gather on God being man's Ezer. So here is what I have gathered. I hope you will join me this week studying who woman is & what we were created to be.
Deut 33:26
“There is none like God, O Jeshurun,
the Rider of the Sky in your strength (be ‘ezreka)
in the heavens in your majesty (ga’avah
a few verses down from this scripture is this
“Happy are you, Israel Who is like you,
A people delivered by the Lord,
the shield of your strength (‘ezreka)
and the sword of your majesty (ga’avah).
Psalms 68:34 Ascribe ye strength unto God: his excellency is over Israel, and his strength is in the clouds. (strength is ezer in the Hebrew text used to translate)
Psalms 93:1 Psalm 93
The LORD reigneth, he is clothed with majesty; the LORD is clothed with strength, wherewith he hath girded himself: the world also is established, that it cannot be moved.
'I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.' (Ps. 121:1-2, emphasis added)
'May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help.' (Ps. 20:1-2, emphasis added)
'We wait in hope for the LORD, he is our help and our shield.' (Ps. 33:20, emphasis added)
'O house of Israel, trust in the LORD-he is their help and shield. (He is their Ezer)
O house of Aaron, trust in the LORD-he is their help and shield.
You who fear him, trust in the LORD-he is their help and shield.'
(Ps. 115:9-11, emphasis added)
Can you see by reading these how God when He is being our Ezer is helping us? Thus the translation of "Help" from the help meet translation. Meet comes from mate, they mean the same thing. Help meet, help mate same thing. However Kenegdo does not mean mate. I can however see how someone could come up with the term mate since Eve was Adam's wife. They just forgot about the whole equal to, counterpart thing. If something your counter part it is:
Main Entry: coun·ter·part
Pronunciation: \-ˌpärt\
Function: noun
Date: 15th century
1 : one of two corresponding copies of a legal instrument : duplicate
2 a : a thing that fits another perfectly b : something that completes : complement
3 a : one remarkably similar to another b : one having the same function or characteristics as another
Somehow mate/meet was translated because Eve was a wife/a mate but all the true definitions of a Kenegdo were ignored. The fact that she was Adam's wife was obvious, of course she was his mate but why in translation did that have to be all she was? Why couldn't she be a mate that was equal to, a corresponding copy, that fit Adam (man) perfectly, completing creation that had the same function & characteristics as her husband? Hmmmm???
Perhaps the translation was more influenced by at that time modern societal influences than the true definition? I am thinking aloud here. Clearly mate/meet is not what Kenegdo means and yet God says he is creating an Ezer Kenegdo for Adam because it is not good that he is alone.
The fact that women are defined as help meets has kept them from "doing" many things in this world because we are thought of less than. Imagine for a moment that men were defined as woman's help meet. Just chew on that for a sec. What would we think about men if they were our help meet? Would we secretly think that we were better than them? After all, they are to "help" us? Again, just thinking out loud. God is our helper, our Ezer, & in that capacity as Ezer relates to woman being an Ezer He is our strength & our sustainer. I like how a strength & a sustainer ties in to Psalms 144:12 that our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as cornerstones, polished after the similitude of a palace:
a cornerstone, the basis, the foundation of her home. She is the strength of her home, carved to adorn her palace.
So what does all this mean for women? Honestly, I am trying to still just study and put it all together. I do know that I feel confirmed inside about what I have always felt inside. That we are truly capable beings equal to man but different. God created man and woman in his image. Men reflect God in different ways than women do.
For instance, women love romance. Speaking in general of course, women love to be told "I love you" daily/often. We say it often to those we love & we like to hear it back. We feel incredibly loved when our partner takes time out just to spend with us. A date perhaps? Just time alone with our man, we love that. Doesn't God want those same things with us? Doesn't God want us to come to Him daily & tell him I love you, thank you for all you do for me. Doesn't God want us to set aside some special time alone with just Him? Yes, God is the ultimate romantic! That is just part of His image reflected in us. I could go on, but maybe we shall save this image discussion for tomorrow shall we? Men and women reflect God in different ways but together, we are the most wonderful reflection of God and we are meant to come together as one, functioning as one and caring for each other as it was our own body.
Truly I would love to hear if any of the posts on women are blessing you like they are me?
Share
Deut 33:26
“There is none like God, O Jeshurun,
the Rider of the Sky in your strength (be ‘ezreka)
in the heavens in your majesty (ga’avah
a few verses down from this scripture is this
“Happy are you, Israel Who is like you,
A people delivered by the Lord,
the shield of your strength (‘ezreka)
and the sword of your majesty (ga’avah).
Psalms 68:34 Ascribe ye strength unto God: his excellency is over Israel, and his strength is in the clouds. (strength is ezer in the Hebrew text used to translate)
Psalms 93:1 Psalm 93
The LORD reigneth, he is clothed with majesty; the LORD is clothed with strength, wherewith he hath girded himself: the world also is established, that it cannot be moved.
'I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.' (Ps. 121:1-2, emphasis added)
'May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help.' (Ps. 20:1-2, emphasis added)
'We wait in hope for the LORD, he is our help and our shield.' (Ps. 33:20, emphasis added)
'O house of Israel, trust in the LORD-he is their help and shield. (He is their Ezer)
O house of Aaron, trust in the LORD-he is their help and shield.
You who fear him, trust in the LORD-he is their help and shield.'
(Ps. 115:9-11, emphasis added)
Can you see by reading these how God when He is being our Ezer is helping us? Thus the translation of "Help" from the help meet translation. Meet comes from mate, they mean the same thing. Help meet, help mate same thing. However Kenegdo does not mean mate. I can however see how someone could come up with the term mate since Eve was Adam's wife. They just forgot about the whole equal to, counterpart thing. If something your counter part it is:
Main Entry: coun·ter·part
Pronunciation: \-ˌpärt\
Function: noun
Date: 15th century
1 : one of two corresponding copies of a legal instrument : duplicate
2 a : a thing that fits another perfectly b : something that completes : complement
3 a : one remarkably similar to another b : one having the same function or characteristics as another
Somehow mate/meet was translated because Eve was a wife/a mate but all the true definitions of a Kenegdo were ignored. The fact that she was Adam's wife was obvious, of course she was his mate but why in translation did that have to be all she was? Why couldn't she be a mate that was equal to, a corresponding copy, that fit Adam (man) perfectly, completing creation that had the same function & characteristics as her husband? Hmmmm???
Perhaps the translation was more influenced by at that time modern societal influences than the true definition? I am thinking aloud here. Clearly mate/meet is not what Kenegdo means and yet God says he is creating an Ezer Kenegdo for Adam because it is not good that he is alone.
The fact that women are defined as help meets has kept them from "doing" many things in this world because we are thought of less than. Imagine for a moment that men were defined as woman's help meet. Just chew on that for a sec. What would we think about men if they were our help meet? Would we secretly think that we were better than them? After all, they are to "help" us? Again, just thinking out loud. God is our helper, our Ezer, & in that capacity as Ezer relates to woman being an Ezer He is our strength & our sustainer. I like how a strength & a sustainer ties in to Psalms 144:12 that our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as cornerstones, polished after the similitude of a palace:
a cornerstone, the basis, the foundation of her home. She is the strength of her home, carved to adorn her palace.
So what does all this mean for women? Honestly, I am trying to still just study and put it all together. I do know that I feel confirmed inside about what I have always felt inside. That we are truly capable beings equal to man but different. God created man and woman in his image. Men reflect God in different ways than women do.
For instance, women love romance. Speaking in general of course, women love to be told "I love you" daily/often. We say it often to those we love & we like to hear it back. We feel incredibly loved when our partner takes time out just to spend with us. A date perhaps? Just time alone with our man, we love that. Doesn't God want those same things with us? Doesn't God want us to come to Him daily & tell him I love you, thank you for all you do for me. Doesn't God want us to set aside some special time alone with just Him? Yes, God is the ultimate romantic! That is just part of His image reflected in us. I could go on, but maybe we shall save this image discussion for tomorrow shall we? Men and women reflect God in different ways but together, we are the most wonderful reflection of God and we are meant to come together as one, functioning as one and caring for each other as it was our own body.
Truly I would love to hear if any of the posts on women are blessing you like they are me?
Share
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Ezer Kenegdo, What Woman Was Intended To Be
In preparing for our ladies Bible study last week I did some extensive reading & studying on the topic of woman. Specifically I zoned in on what God's intent was when he created woman. I gotta be me so I have to be honest here. I have NEVER accepted the term help meet or helper suitable or any other of the translations. WHY Jennifer you may ask? Don't you believe the Bible? First, yes absolutely I believe. Here is why though..... bear with me 'cause this is gonna blow your socks off if you read all the way through.
In Genesis 2:18 we see the first mention of woman where in our English translated Bibles we see God saying I will make a help meet for him. Speaking of Adam being alone in the garden. So as much as we ladies try to make ourselves feel better about the term help meet it so implies inequality, it feels less than man. However, in the Life App. Bible study guide and any other study I have seen we are taught that Adam & Eve were equal at creation & they were to co-rule the earth together. All that got messed up at original sin in the garden but.... how can we be taught that they were equal co-rulers at creation & at the same time call Eve Adam's help meet? Can somebody tell me what a help meet is anyway? Again, being honest here I think that term is degrading & it has been used to keep women in a place of servitude throughout the ages. For years I have been taught that it was our job to "help the men out". WHAT? We are so much more than helpers.... serving is highly exalted in God's kingdom, Jesus came to serve but somehow I just always felt this was so not all there was to woman.
Clearly in Genesis 1:28 when God blesses Adam & Eve he gives them both the same command to rule & subdue the earth and also procreate. He did not say Adam do these things and Eve you help him. So, I do believe the teachings that say they were equal at creation. Still though to this day we say we are help meets & that just doesn't spin as equal to me. Also, if Eve's job was to help Adam why was she not present in the verses before where we see Adam all alone working hard to name everything God had created. Name EVERYTHING? Surely Adam was working long hard hours, he probably got quite hungry and such while he was busy coming up with names for the animals & such. Why would God not have given Adam his helper when he was doing all this work? After all, Eve could have picked some veggies & made Adam a nice salad while he was working so hard & brought him a little drinky. She could have been busy organizing the animals & such. You know, helping Adam out?
I decided to look up the Hebrew words from the Torah that were the original words that we translated to get the English words help meet. I just knew there was more to woman than a help meet. The Hebrew words that are in the Torah where God says I will make a __________ __________ for him are the words Ezer Kenegdo. So then I looked up the definitions of Ezer & Kenegdo.
God says he is going to make an Ezer for man. Did you know that the word Ezer is only in the Old Testament in Hebrew 21 times? Only 1 time does the word Ezer refer to woman. The other 20 times it is refering to God himself! Did you get that? God is OUR Ezer. That just rocked my female world may I say. Before we go further, God says he is going to make an Ezer for man. At the same time 20 other places God is our Ezer.
Ezer is made up of two root words which mean to be strong or to save, it also means powerful. Eight of the 20 times that Ezer is used it is in reference to God saving man. It is used in a time of desperation where man needs God to come to his rescue or he will die. God is their only hope, he is their Ezer. The other twelve times it is used in reference to God being their strength. Tomorrow I will give you some of these verses in detail. For today a couple examples okay? You know the verse, Casting Crowns even has a song about it..... "I lift mine eyes up to the hills, where does my help (Ezer) come from, my help (Ezer) comes from the Lord." or this one..... you are my shield and my strength (ezer).
In all twenty cases of God being the Ezer he is helping man in some capacity. He is either literally saving their lives or He is their strength and sustainer. This may be why we have the term "help" coming from the word Ezer because when God is the Ezer, he is helping man. But um, he is not doing man's laundry or cooking him dinner. Somehow the meaning behind being an Ezer has gotten lost to us. God is not beneath us & yet He is our Ezer. God is all powerful. the Father of all, the Creator of every single thing and yet...... He is our Ezer. God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make an Ezer kenegdo for him.
Let's get to Kenegdo shall we? Kenegdo is easy, it simply means to be equal, counterpart, alongside.
I do not believe woman is here to save man as part of Ezer means to save. When Ezer is used to mean save it is used in the context as God is our Savior, our only means of hope. It makes more sense to use the to be strong, powerful as the definiton.
So how would that translate? It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a powerful strength equal to him. OR It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a strength equal to him. Okay, I am no scholar here.
The point is, that YES!!! I just knew there was more to us than the traditional help meet. It is an honor in my opinion to be called an Ezer! After all, God is an Ezer to all of mankind. What do we think about God being our Ezer? I honestly am still trying to settle in my mind what that means exactly for us ladies. God is our Ezer, our strength, our hope, our power. We are meant to be man's Ezer but yet equal to, alongside also. Hmmm, a lot to grasp & get ahold of. This is a definition that really in my humble opinion should be OUT THERE more. Do you know this is a fact, widely known in many circles around the world? We are Ezer Kenegdo's. I will share more on this throughout the week, I hope you will come back & discuss this wonderful definition of the Hebrew wording.
Might I say that I was more than a little nervous to bring this study to our ladies last Thursday but they LOVED IT! Many people are resistant to something they have never heard before so I admit, I was nervous. But the Torah is a fact & the words Ezer Kenegdo are a fact, we can't escape that. Help meet was translated from Ezer Kenegdo, not the other way around so I feel quite fine and secure with studying this. My pastor's wife was so excited she told me. She came home from our study and proudly told our pastor "I am your ezer kenegdo!" Ha ha, I just love them all. What a group of fun ladies. I would love to know what you think about this, I tell ya, it just floored me. I want to talk about this through the week but here are a couple of really good links if you want to read more about what an Ezer Kenegdo is.
Loved this blog post from Stoned-Campbell Disciple.
This is a blog post from a book review about a book called Captivating where the book discusses God's words of calling woman an Ezer Kenegdo. Articulate Me: Ezer
Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!!
Jenn
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Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I saw this the other day at a blog I stumbled across. Have you visited The Decorated House yet? What a great inspiration blog! If you click on the link it will take you to the post tutorial of how to do something wonderful with your fabric, pillows & dining room chairs like she did. Can you believe that is an iron on transfer? Nice & easy, just like I like 'em.I have some more to post about the study I am doing on "Woman" but to tell ya the truth, I am just overwhelmed right now putting it all down on paper to teach this Thursday. I have had a terrible headache & such. Hopefully tomorrow I can post.
There are a lot of things stirring over at the house right now. Lots to do......
Jenn
Thursday, November 5, 2009
What does The Bible Say About Women?
WOMENI was looking up all the scriptures on women yesterday listed in the back of the Bible. Part of our next ladies bible study this next Thursday. I noticed something I had never ever noticed before.
I posted the other day my other revelation that Eve had eaten the fruit to gain more knowledge & to gain the ability to be like God (wanting his supreme authority & ability to do anything). Instead when God punishes Eve he changes the original plan. The original plan was that they would be immortal, she would be the mother of mankind, & she and Adam were equal in Creation and co ruled the earth. The punishment? Now we are no longer immortal, women would birth in great pain & we were no longer equal in creation, we were going to be "ruled over". Basically Eve got the exact opposite of what she was seeking when she sinned.
From that point on women's rights were not very pretty.
ENTER JESUS.
As I was studying I was taken to the book of Luke. In Luke we see Jesus & his disciples traveling with a group of women. What were these women doing? They were financially supporting Jesus & his disciples, that is what they were doing. Since they were travelling with him they obviously would have been learning from him also.
In my study portion of the Bible it says that in Jewish culture women were not allowed to learn directly from rabbi's. Their husbands would give them instruction. By Jesus allowing a group of women to travel with him and also learn from him & to have those women in a place of supporting him and the disciples (not the more traditional role of men supporting women) Jesus was making a huge statement by his actions. He was saying that men and women were equal in creation & should be equal in the kingdom of God. Men and women could both participate equally in the things of God, neither sex meant more to God. God cared about the person, not the sex of the person. WOW.
It occurred to me that Jesus came to restore relationship with God. He came to "fix" what happened at original sin. One of the things that needed fixing was what happened with women at original sin. I asked myself, did Jesus come to heal that too? When you look at God's original intent for woman & then after the punishment what woman had was no place close to what God had intended. We see Jesus over and over breaking Jewish traditions & man made customs to show mercy & love, to give restoration. Although I have never ever heard any teaching on this, as I am studying all the scriptures on women I am wondering..... was Jesus also here to show God's forgiveness on the impact of Eve's sin? Was Jesus trying to restore woman's place in the world?
It is obvious that women can be used by God. Look at Esther & the Judge Deborah for instance. Women were prophetesses also throughout the old testament & such. But still, our place was a low one as far as rights & being educated.
As I study more I am more convinced than ever that God cares for the person, regardless of our sex. I am convinced that God will use whoever is available to be used regardless of their sex.
I just thought that was amazing yesterday, the part in Luke about the women supporting Jesus's ministry and the glaring statement that must have been making in Jewish society. Did He come also to say that He loves women just as much as men & wanted healing in this great rift between the wall being put up barring women from serving in the church like they could do otherwise? Makes ya wonder.......
Women struggle so much. What is our role? Men have such clearly defined roles, that must be so wonderful! Our struggle goes all the way back to original sin. Why Eve didn't you just go have a heart to heart with God before you took the devil at his word? If we work full time then what is our role & our hubby's role at home? Why do women who work full time still do the majority of all housework, grocery shopping, meal planning, doctor's visits, play date making & taking, & all things kid? What is that all about?
I tell ya, men would get a lot more sex if they just realized all they need to do is work more around the house. One, she is not so tired & might actually have some energy left to extend around bed time & two, she will be so moved & feel loved & appreciate her man that she will WANT TO PLEASE HIM. Duh.
If a woman is a stay at home wife, what is her role? Should the hubby do any housework? Does that answer depend on how many or how young any kids they have are? Is everything her responsibility? Some of the housewives I know have hubby's that expect that they work hard the entire day they are at work & give them a hard time if they do anything pleasureful during the "work day". Humph, don't get me started on that topic.
What is okay for women to do in the church? I personally love having at least one women's pastor around to talk to about my woman stuff. It is such a pleasure to speak sometimes to someone who is just like me but also completely thoroughly schooled in pastoring as a man. The woman pastor's I have been around are just a treasure.
The other thing that jumped out at me yesterday? When God said to Eve that your desire will be for your husband but he will rule over you, it is clear that women are no longer equal with man in leadership on the earth due to her sin. However, however however, let us look at God's example of what rulership should be shall we?
God is our ultimate ruler. We are all under the ruling authority of God. I believe God sets the best example of how one should rule. With love, with care & compassion. How does God rule over us? I believe God is the example for leadership on how men should lead their homes & in everything that they do.
God told Adam & Eve to rule over the earth. He also expected them to take care of it as he told Adam to work in the garden of Eden. We should care for what we are ruling over, it is in our care, it is in our responsibility. That is actually a pretty big responsibility for men, imagine God asking a man or judging a man at judgement time and making him accountable for how he "ruled/lead" his family. I can't imagine how God does not make man accountable for how he handled his rulership that he was entrusted with. What would God say about your leadership as a man? Ahem, if I was a man, that would get me right in the heart. Big responsibility I should say.
Women hate that word rule because it almost always has negative connotations with it. I personally have experienced & continue to hear horror stories from women on how their men abuse their rulership/leadership in the home. Men are told to love their wives as their own bodies, meaning treat your wife as you would want to be treated. Then we all, men and women, have the golden rule to live by. Treat others the way you would want to be treated. There is no room for selfishness & meanness in God's kingdom.
I can see God wants us all to work together & love each other. I am really learning a lot about what went horribly wrong with women and some great insights on what Jesus says about women. Lots more to study here, I can't wait.
If you have any insights on this topic I would love to hear anything about God's plans & purposes for women for our next bible study. I will be teaching on the Proverbs 31 woman also. BTW, notice the proverbs 31 woman also has servants to help do all the stuff she does. So if you ever read proverbs 31 & feel a little too convicted just remember that she had full time staff okay?
Love y'all,
Jenn
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Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Going To The Mountains
I had a really neat moment with Braxton the other week. He was riding his little toy around the bottom of the driveway and having a great time. It is nice and flat at the bottom and he is able to easily navigate where he wants to go with no help from anyone.With my back turned to him I began to hear him grunt. He then in his most frustrated voice yells "I can't get up this mountain!" He then asks for my help. I laughed because he called our driveway a mountain, that seemed so silly to me. A mountain? It isn't even that steep. Laughing as I walked over to push him "up the mountain" I decided to get down on his level & look up the driveway.
Sure enough, from the standpoint of a almost 3 year old, that driveway may as well have been a mountain. He was right, for him it was a mountain. For me it was a mildly steep driveway, piece of cake. It was then the scripture hit me about Jesus talking to the disciples about having faith the size of a mustard seed and if they ask a mountain to move it shall be moved.
How many times have I seen a mountain in my life & because it was so impossible for me, well.... you know where I am going with this. What may be a monumental mountain that we could never climb could just be a bump in the road for God. It is a piece of cake for him & he must just shake his head and laugh sometimes at how we cry out, like Braxton did, at the mountain in front of us.
It was my pleasure to come to Braxton's aid and help him up the mountain. He smiled and thanked me. Surely God feels the same joy when his children call out to him and ask for the help from their Abba Father.
It was a nice moment, a moment of reflection and a gentle reminder of how big our God is. Nothing is too hard for God, nothing is to difficult for Him. What comfort in knowing He is on our side, He is our way maker. I need only to call out to my Daddy.
Jenn
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Tuesday, November 3, 2009
The Light of The Gospel
I am a believer, and the light of the Gospel shines in my mind. 2 Cor 4:4
Yesterday that scripture taken from all the scriptures that say who we are in Christ really spoke to me. I need to keep God's word in my mind. I need to not let anything but God's word influence me. Not always an easy thing to do, for me in this particular time it is not as easy as before but it is still required.
I was studying in Genesis today about woman and it was amazing to me that in one conversation Satan was able to convince Eve that God was holding out on her. He convinced her that the fruit of the tree they were not supposed to eat of would make her like God and that God did not want that. God wanted to keep the supreme rulership & knowledge for himself but it was available to her also if she would just eat, oh clever Satan.
Do you suppose that it was this momentary quest to be more powerful, more wise and more like God that God's punishment to woman was to become under the rulership of man instead? She was seeking more wisdom & was not content to co rule the earth with Adam, no she wanted more than to co rule so instead God, after this sin did what to woman? Women were ruled over instead of being equal co rulers & they were not given the same education as men. They were denied the same knowledge and privileges as men. Hmmmmm......... A fit punishment perhaps for Eve but I am not quite sure how much I appreciate it, ha ha.
The scripture at the top made me more aware than ever when I am in a hard place that I need to keep the light of the gospel in my mind. I need to believe God at his word, period. The battle place is in the mind and I need to let the Gospel shine it's light on any dark thing that would try to persuade me in any other direction than to love others & seek my Lord.
Things are so much smoother for my family than they were even this time last year. I had some fun reading some of my posts from this time last year. Boy oh boy was August and September a rough place last year. I was reading them last night and wow, if only I knew what I know now I would have never written any of those things. I would have known, but I didn't back then and it was so sad to look back & see me flailing about. Goodness, did God do a work in me. There was so much anger at my circumstances it made me cringe sometimes. But I look now and the change in me is so drastically different & the change in our circumstances changed also with it. Are we perfect, oh no we are not. Is everything okay every day, nope. But, it continues to improve always and so does our growth in the knowledge of the Lord. Amen to that!
No matter what, in sick days & in healthy days, in days of prosperity & days of lack I will keep the light of the Gospel in my mind. Pressing onward, I will not falter in my belief that God's word & his promises are very alive & true for me. I don't know if anybody else needed that but I sure needed to remind myself of how real & true the Gospel is today. I needed to see the sin of Adam & Eve, that she did not trust in what God did say & tried to achieve for herself what seemed good instead and she got exactly the opposite of what she tried to get for herself.
She sought more and she got less. She sought to become just like God in authority & knowledge and she became less of both. She tried to do it on her own and did not believe in what God said & look what happened.
Lesson learned, I will trust in you Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding, in all my ways I will acknowledge you and your word says you will make straight paths for me. Proverbs 3:5&6 slightly personalized by moi. Once again, my life verse is just perfect for me today.
Braxton just spilled his drink all over the table & the floor. Then my 12 year old walked through it and fell. Fruity Pebbles & milk all over the floor now too. Amber is sick. I cleaned it all up of course & then came back here, looks like I am going to need this word today! Good grief, how is that we can get all prayed up & feeling wonderful & then life just happens & we are so tempted to throw it all away. Well, I have all four home today, no school, so I love it that this morning 's word I let soak in seems to be just perfect for today, for me at least.
I hope all of you are having a happy & blessed day,
Jenn
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Yesterday that scripture taken from all the scriptures that say who we are in Christ really spoke to me. I need to keep God's word in my mind. I need to not let anything but God's word influence me. Not always an easy thing to do, for me in this particular time it is not as easy as before but it is still required.
I was studying in Genesis today about woman and it was amazing to me that in one conversation Satan was able to convince Eve that God was holding out on her. He convinced her that the fruit of the tree they were not supposed to eat of would make her like God and that God did not want that. God wanted to keep the supreme rulership & knowledge for himself but it was available to her also if she would just eat, oh clever Satan.
Do you suppose that it was this momentary quest to be more powerful, more wise and more like God that God's punishment to woman was to become under the rulership of man instead? She was seeking more wisdom & was not content to co rule the earth with Adam, no she wanted more than to co rule so instead God, after this sin did what to woman? Women were ruled over instead of being equal co rulers & they were not given the same education as men. They were denied the same knowledge and privileges as men. Hmmmmm......... A fit punishment perhaps for Eve but I am not quite sure how much I appreciate it, ha ha.
The scripture at the top made me more aware than ever when I am in a hard place that I need to keep the light of the gospel in my mind. I need to believe God at his word, period. The battle place is in the mind and I need to let the Gospel shine it's light on any dark thing that would try to persuade me in any other direction than to love others & seek my Lord.
Things are so much smoother for my family than they were even this time last year. I had some fun reading some of my posts from this time last year. Boy oh boy was August and September a rough place last year. I was reading them last night and wow, if only I knew what I know now I would have never written any of those things. I would have known, but I didn't back then and it was so sad to look back & see me flailing about. Goodness, did God do a work in me. There was so much anger at my circumstances it made me cringe sometimes. But I look now and the change in me is so drastically different & the change in our circumstances changed also with it. Are we perfect, oh no we are not. Is everything okay every day, nope. But, it continues to improve always and so does our growth in the knowledge of the Lord. Amen to that!
No matter what, in sick days & in healthy days, in days of prosperity & days of lack I will keep the light of the Gospel in my mind. Pressing onward, I will not falter in my belief that God's word & his promises are very alive & true for me. I don't know if anybody else needed that but I sure needed to remind myself of how real & true the Gospel is today. I needed to see the sin of Adam & Eve, that she did not trust in what God did say & tried to achieve for herself what seemed good instead and she got exactly the opposite of what she tried to get for herself.
She sought more and she got less. She sought to become just like God in authority & knowledge and she became less of both. She tried to do it on her own and did not believe in what God said & look what happened.
Lesson learned, I will trust in you Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding, in all my ways I will acknowledge you and your word says you will make straight paths for me. Proverbs 3:5&6 slightly personalized by moi. Once again, my life verse is just perfect for me today.
Braxton just spilled his drink all over the table & the floor. Then my 12 year old walked through it and fell. Fruity Pebbles & milk all over the floor now too. Amber is sick. I cleaned it all up of course & then came back here, looks like I am going to need this word today! Good grief, how is that we can get all prayed up & feeling wonderful & then life just happens & we are so tempted to throw it all away. Well, I have all four home today, no school, so I love it that this morning 's word I let soak in seems to be just perfect for today, for me at least.
I hope all of you are having a happy & blessed day,
Jenn
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Monday, November 2, 2009
Who Am I?
Who am I? Who am I that God would _____________ for me? Do you have a fear or doubt that you could fill in the blank with?
I was reading something this morning & it took me back to a time of great refinement for me last year. One of the greatest things I learned in that year was who I was. I didn't learn who Jennifer was in Jennifer. I learned who Jennifer was in Christ. It changed forever the way I viewed myself.
You see, in a time of refinement God is bringing to light our impurities. Our filth is displayed in full light for us to see & there is no getting away from it. This process can be quite painful to realize the realities of our "fleshiness" & it can lead to a lot of self condemnation.
During such a time for me I could barely stand to think anything good for myself. I could not believe how much work I had to do inside of me, it was mind blowing. But then God led me to a book by Joyce Meyer called The Secret To True Happiness. Great book by the way. The best part of the book is in the Appendix. Why, you may ask. In the Appendix of this book are all the scriptures listed in statement form that say who we are in Christ. I have listed all of them in this post.
I read them once and never thought about them much again. I continued to grow but I still felt something was missing. God led me to a wonderful woman who sent me some tapes on speaking the expected end and the power of words. God spoke to me in all of that and led me back to those statements of who I am in Christ. It was like God impressed upon me that I needed to not only know who I was in Christ, but I needed to speak it also. So I began to do that, I included my kids in this journey also. Part of our daily routine is to take 5 minutes and go off alone and read these out loud.
You know, it was amazing how the condemnation left me when I started doing that. I felt so much love in what God was showing me that I needed to work on instead of feeling shame, humiliation and great embarrassment. It was like God was extending an invitation to me to do a work in me with him. Each opportunity to work on something new became a treasure instead of another trip down condemnation lane.
Now, each new impurity became an opportunity to be closer to my Lord. Each victory brought me closer to my King. We were working together to remove my filth because God wants the best for his children and he loved me way to much to let me stay the way I was. What a treasure when we can work with God to overcome our obstacles!
I saw so much of me in what I read earlier, I found it a great source of joy because I know (having gone through this process) what is waiting on the other side. God deals with us so individually of course though and for me, I had to learn who I was in Christ along with my refinement. It may not be the same for others but can I also suggest that it is extremely critical that you know who you are in Christ.
I have heard "who you are in Christ" forever it seems and nobody ever told me what any of that meant. They just said I should know it, which really aggravated me as I guess I just couldn't figure it out on my own or realize it as I studied. Would you please buy Joyce's book or click here and print them and read them out loud please? I promise after reading these out loud for a few days the scriptures will begin to settle inside of you. They will become your reality. You will identify yourself with who the scriptures say you are instead of how you feel about yourself based on your emotions. That is freedom my friends!!!!
I truly hope that some of you will take the time to copy, paste & print these scriptures. Reading them once will not do it. Who of us can read a bunch of scriptures once and have them all memorized and settled inside of us? Not me! Please, know who you are based on the scriptures & not your emotions. There is a huge difference and it will make a tremendous impact on how we battle, how we pray, how we approach the Lord & how we view ourselves. But it takes reading them for a bit to let them sink in. Soon it won't be long before some negative thoughts creep into your mind and you will immediately shake it off and say "I can quench the fiery darts of the evil one with my shield of faith!" and you give those negative thoughts the boot and finish it off with a "I am holy and without blame before Him in love".
Enjoy!
Jenn
I was reading something this morning & it took me back to a time of great refinement for me last year. One of the greatest things I learned in that year was who I was. I didn't learn who Jennifer was in Jennifer. I learned who Jennifer was in Christ. It changed forever the way I viewed myself.
You see, in a time of refinement God is bringing to light our impurities. Our filth is displayed in full light for us to see & there is no getting away from it. This process can be quite painful to realize the realities of our "fleshiness" & it can lead to a lot of self condemnation.
During such a time for me I could barely stand to think anything good for myself. I could not believe how much work I had to do inside of me, it was mind blowing. But then God led me to a book by Joyce Meyer called The Secret To True Happiness. Great book by the way. The best part of the book is in the Appendix. Why, you may ask. In the Appendix of this book are all the scriptures listed in statement form that say who we are in Christ. I have listed all of them in this post.
I read them once and never thought about them much again. I continued to grow but I still felt something was missing. God led me to a wonderful woman who sent me some tapes on speaking the expected end and the power of words. God spoke to me in all of that and led me back to those statements of who I am in Christ. It was like God impressed upon me that I needed to not only know who I was in Christ, but I needed to speak it also. So I began to do that, I included my kids in this journey also. Part of our daily routine is to take 5 minutes and go off alone and read these out loud.
You know, it was amazing how the condemnation left me when I started doing that. I felt so much love in what God was showing me that I needed to work on instead of feeling shame, humiliation and great embarrassment. It was like God was extending an invitation to me to do a work in me with him. Each opportunity to work on something new became a treasure instead of another trip down condemnation lane.
Now, each new impurity became an opportunity to be closer to my Lord. Each victory brought me closer to my King. We were working together to remove my filth because God wants the best for his children and he loved me way to much to let me stay the way I was. What a treasure when we can work with God to overcome our obstacles!
I saw so much of me in what I read earlier, I found it a great source of joy because I know (having gone through this process) what is waiting on the other side. God deals with us so individually of course though and for me, I had to learn who I was in Christ along with my refinement. It may not be the same for others but can I also suggest that it is extremely critical that you know who you are in Christ.
I have heard "who you are in Christ" forever it seems and nobody ever told me what any of that meant. They just said I should know it, which really aggravated me as I guess I just couldn't figure it out on my own or realize it as I studied. Would you please buy Joyce's book or click here and print them and read them out loud please? I promise after reading these out loud for a few days the scriptures will begin to settle inside of you. They will become your reality. You will identify yourself with who the scriptures say you are instead of how you feel about yourself based on your emotions. That is freedom my friends!!!!
I truly hope that some of you will take the time to copy, paste & print these scriptures. Reading them once will not do it. Who of us can read a bunch of scriptures once and have them all memorized and settled inside of us? Not me! Please, know who you are based on the scriptures & not your emotions. There is a huge difference and it will make a tremendous impact on how we battle, how we pray, how we approach the Lord & how we view ourselves. But it takes reading them for a bit to let them sink in. Soon it won't be long before some negative thoughts creep into your mind and you will immediately shake it off and say "I can quench the fiery darts of the evil one with my shield of faith!" and you give those negative thoughts the boot and finish it off with a "I am holy and without blame before Him in love".
Enjoy!
Jenn
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