Monday, March 21, 2016

Long Time No See.

Look who remembered that she had a blog? CRAZAY. It took me about 20 minutes to remember what email address was associated with the blog so that I could log in, ha ha.

Boy have times changed since I last visited this place! My sweet Brandon has graduated and moved on to conquer life now.
He is very happy with the path he has chosen. He's away in military school now and I miss him terribly. I've also developed an extreme fear of flying. Discovered that on the flight to his basic training graduation. Uh-oh. That's going to make it really hard to visit him in the future. I had a bit of a panic attack flying home from his graduation, the flight attendant gave me good chocolate from first class to placate me, ha!!! It didn't help but I behaved myself and prayed the whole way for God to not let us die in a fiery crash. I don't have to say it. Brandon will have about 2 years left of college when he gets done with his 2 years of training he is doing now and I hope to goodness that he comes home for those 2 years of college. I miss him terribly. He was my bud.

Look who else is doing FABULOUS!
My sweet little Amber kitty turned 16 last December! I can't believe it. For me, I mentally stopped aging her at 12. I think watching her go through all of her surgeries in Philly was very traumatic for me. It was incredibly traumatic for both of us, mostly her, and for me....she will always be 12. I still tell people she is 12. I have to catch myself. I think even when she has kids, she's always going to be my little kitty. Did I even blog about that? Her surgeries? I don't think I did. She had 3 major 14-hour plus surgeries from Oct 15 to Nov 13 in 2012, and one minor surgery on Oct 31 in 2012 in between the other three. WOW, what a time that was. I'll have to do a post on just that because if anyone is scouring the net about scoliosis surgeries and what to expect and you know....all the things that can go wrong, because boy did she have something major go wrong!!!! She woke up paralyzed on her second day out of her first surgery on Oct. 15. Hence, the second 14 hour surgery on Oct 17 to try to repair her paralysis. It took a couple of days for her to regain feeling, it started out in 1 single toe. It took another 2 weeks for her to regain most of her feeling and movement and LOTS of therapy to walk again during those weeks. She's come out of her scoliosis surgeries so beautifully. I just love the doctors and nurses at the hospital we used in Philly. They were AMAZING! She has rods down almost her entire spine now and a missing rib or two. They also had to do a laminectomy on her. Yuck, you don't want to know about that...but they had to do it to repair the paralysis. She's doing so great though. I'm so happy for her. I'm trying to teach her to drive. Lord help me, she terrifies me. I lie to you not. She likes to use BOTH lanes AT THE SAME TIME. Help me.

We've moved too. To the sticks. I can't even get a pizza delivery out here. I don't have my house yet, which I HATE. We bought the property, it's just shy of 5 acres and it's backed up to 80 acres of nothing but untouched forestry. The property opposite of me is hundreds of acres that a forestry company owns and they log certain portions periodically, but it is mostly untouched. I like that part. After we bought the property, my husband took out a one year loan to build a 3 car garage that we converted into living space. It has a big living room, a small kitchen, a dining room table, a huge closet for everyone's clothes, a washer/dryer area and a full bath. It's all one huge open space except for the bathroom, of course. He then bought an RV with 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms and it's parked next to the garage. It's where we live now. I don't really like living like this, mostly I hate it. BUT, everything is paid for 100% except the RV and that I do like. We've been here about a year and a half now. We are supposed to start building our house this July, maybe sooner but I doubt it. Being self-employed has been a nightmare to secure a construction loan so we had to wait. The good part about living this way though is that our land is all paid for, the garage is all paid for, the well, septic and running the electric lines are all done and paid for. Literally, I will only have to take out a mortgage for the cost to build the home only. Everything else is a done deal, debt free. It will be worth it when we are all moved in. Right's a pain in the booty, I won't lie. I'm having lots of fun on Pinterest coming up with interior design ideas. My husband hates Pinterest and the show Fixer Upper because I keep coming to him asking for all kinds of things like ship lap, and awesome wood beam ceilings and numerous trim upgrades, LOL!!! He's dying. Ha, ha.

My sweet Braxton is doing awesome too. He loves to play football and he will be starting his third year of that in July. We've discovered that he is super smart too. He definitely does not get that from me. It's crazy, this kid is way smarter than I am and he is 9. Lexie poo is doing well, she's about to turn 24. Holy cow.

I STILL am not in church. I quit going around 2012 I think???? Or was it 2013. You know...I think it was early 2013. I still have the same struggles as I did in 2012. I hate that I'm not in church because I loved going so much all the years since I was a little girl. I get so frustrated when I go now. It's too hard. I just don't believe that what we teach in church is necessarily true anymore, and it's really hard to sit and listen to stuff that you don't believe is true. I think it all started for me when I did the study on women and I stumbled onto finding the original words Moses used when God said he was going to create woman and he used the words Ezer Kenegdo, which quite frankly, do not translate into help meet, help mate and all the other lovely words that they have been translated into that do not at all accurately translate the actual meaning. This really shook me. It was a very big error in translation and it has forever changed women's roles because of it. In my opinion of course.....Have you ever heard of Ezer Kenegdo? You should really look it up, I wrote a post or two on it too. The best writing that I have seen on it is from a blog called Stoned Campbell disciple. It really began to take me down a path that changed my ability to just believe what was in our Bible. Oh, I still believe in God and Jesus, I know in my heart that they are real. I do not doubt that at all. I just don't believe a lot of what is in the Bible. I began to do lots of research of the original text that Moses wrote. Boy, we sure do have a lot left out. It really frustrated me and there was nobody to talk to about it. Everyone just kept reciting scriptures to me that I already knew. That wasn't what I needed. So, I left. That's really sad isn't it? I still love God. I still love Jesus. I just think our manual has been manipulated. Greatly. Lots of people tell me to get over it and go, that the people of the church should be assembled together. I agree. I really do. I always loved going. I just need to hear accurate stuff, not made up stuff. That sounds terrible doesn't it? I know it does. I'm well aware. It bothers me. I think that I could maybe try going if it was even acknowledged that we have translation errors, but we don't acknowledge it. I get frustrated that you have parts of the Bible and the same verses are taught totally different meanings. That frustrates me. I could give examples, but that's another post. I would love to go back in time and erase what has happened and be back and happy in church again. I really did love my church family. I guess that was another nail in the coffin. Church families have become very dysfunctional and let's admit it a little crazy. Everybody is up in everybody's business. I don't want to gossip about sister so and so. Please do not ask me to keep up with everybody's goings ons. NOPE. And, please do not keep up with mine. Why suddenly did I have to explain myself if I wasn't at a Wednesday service? Pardon me, it's nonyabusiness. Good gravy. I noticed it wasn't just me either, around 2012, I would start seeing on Sunday mornings....LOL....people putting up FB statuses explaining their absence from church that day. LOLOLOL. People want to give other people a hard time for not being in a service. What is that all about? I still see my friends posting on Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings about how sorry they are that they just can't make it to church because of so and so and every stinking time I see that I'm thinking.....yep, they are still up in each other's business over there. Who needs to be harassed? Not me. I have enough problems. If you are in church and happy, I envy you. I really do. I miss my old life. A friend tried to get me to join her Buddhist church, I was like no. No, I still believe in the story of my faith. I won't ever change that. I really have had some lovely interactions with the Lord and I treasure those. I'll always be a Christian. I just don't know what kind of Christian I am. I stopped researching because I couldn't do it with all of kitty's problems. I've been thinking of studying up again. I think it would be good for me actually. Maybe there is a place for people like me out there? I hope so. I like to think so.

Oh, guess what? I've been working out too since November of 2015. I have a personal trainer that I work out with twice a week too. She is very good and makes me very sore. I have really changed my eating habits too. Do you want to know how much weight I've lost? I'll tell you. I've lost zero pounds. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Isn't that a hoot? I'm killing myself and eating healthy and I've lost nothing in almost 5 months. I slay me. I refuse to give up though. I've had all my junk tested last month. All my blood work comes back that I am healthy except my newly diagnosed high blood pressure. I'm going back tomorrow for a full physical and I'm going to ask for more exhaustive testing as to why I cannot lose weight and I'm going to ask about a dietician. I have the worst luck. I really do. No lie, I consulted a psychic about it last May. I did. She said I wasn't cursed. I don't know....I sure do have some bad luck man. I figured it was worth a try. A Wicken lady that I had to fire, because she was AWFUL at her job, a few years ago said she was going to curse me. I just wanted to check....Psychic says no curse. She did say...that my luck is my own doing. She said thoughts have energy and we should think of thoughts like laws of attraction. Negative attracts negative, positive attracts positive. I've been trying to be positive more. It's been very helpful actually, except I haven't lost weight yet. I'm still trying though!!!! In fact, I have an appointment with the trainer today at 5:30 and I'll do cardio before. I'm like the little train that could, eventually I will climb that mountain.

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