Monday, December 28, 2009

Bible Thumping & Seed Planting

"Is she some kind of Bible thumper?" I heard those words a couple of days ago and it just really took me by surprise when I heard them. I spend so much time around truly devoted Christians that have personal relationships with the Lord. I have a personal relationship with the Lord too and while I honestly realize many people find God talk boring and even worse, Christians who talk about God annoying and boring it always shocks me when I am in a group of people who can't stand any "God talk". It really does.

The label "Bible Thumper" is not something I am not even going to argue with someone nor were they refering to me when they asked the question thankfully. I have known a few Bible thumpers in my time unfortunately. They are the legalistic Christians who say they have Jesus but show little love. They are so proud of how "holy" they are and let everyone around them at all times know how "unholy" they are. They evangelise constantly and for that I give them much respect but they do it in a way that is annoying, judgemental and well, mean. Who wants to follow that ole crow?

I wondered what to do at that point, should I speak that a Christian way of life does not have to be a hypocritical and boring one? So I just asked God for a door of sorts. He gave me one. God, you are soooo cool. It was pretty neat, the subject just eased into a Biblical teaching that I just happened to have finished studying and I just couldn't let the opportunity to speak what the Bible says about this subject go. What happened next was awesome. As I gently eased into what God would say about this suddenly this very loud room packed with people went dead silent. Dead silent. I spoke about God's truth on this and everyone listened, quietly and intently. It was a beautiful moment for me personally. Then I cracked a joke of sorts to put the room back to a "normal" mood and everyone smiled and began talking again.

I learned something wonderful from that. People are curious about God's word. I think they were really interested in what I had to say and maybe they hadn't heard about God before without being in a boring church or by a condescending person telling them they are living a sinful life. For me, it was beautiful to be able to share knowledge about God and how we are created in different ways in His image with people who may have never heard that before. I would have LOVED to go "full sermon" but that would have been pretty rude of me, it wasn't the place or time. But, I would have LOVED it.

I have never heard the name of the Lord taken in vain with curse words so many times before. I think I visibly cringed each time I heard it. It was almost painful to hear it so y'all I had to get me some good stuff in too. Do you ever just wish you could tell people about God and Jesus and they just get it and want Him? UGH. It is so frustrating sometimes to try to insert God's truth and word into conversations with people who do not either believe in Him or actively worship the Lord in any way. They are so resistant to any mention of going to church at all aren't they? I wonder what has happened to them to make them not worship or believe? Probably lots of things.... but you know what I have learned this past year that I know that I must teach my children and as many people as I can?

I have learned that I need to teach my kids that worshiping God is something that you can't just stop doing. Worshiping God needs to be viewed as an actual personal relationship with another being. If we break a relationship off with another person we know we are no longer connected to them in any way so how can we break off a personal relationship with God and still say we are part of Him and His family? We need to stay connected, we need to talk to Him, we need to do all the things with God that we would desire someone in a relationship to do with us at the very least? I mean, how ridiculous would it be to get married to someone and then leave them a few years later & disappear but 20 years down the road have someone ask you about your spouse and you would say "I've been married over 20 years." No, you haven't. You quit being married the day you left your spouse. I am not even getting into a salvation discussion here but one of all the time I hear people say they believe in God or that they are Christians but it has been years since they entered a Church. They can't remember the last time they read anything in a Bible. They do not hardly or ever pray but since they prayed a salvation prayer when they were a little kid and went to Church as a youth and visit during the special holidays sometimes they think they are just fine and dandy with God and are a part of his family. It is just an awesome work that Satan has done to deceive people. He has done a great job of deceiving people in that way and how did we ever let him get away with it?

It frustrates me so..... I just want to see people happy and not let another soul over into Satan's camp. I heard a pastor the other day say people are dying constantly and then he began tapping rapidly on the podium. They are dying at this pace all around your city, as he is still tapping, while you are eating lunch.... again more tapping, while you are brushing your teeth..... again more tapping, while you sip your coffee...... more tapping. How can you sit there and eat your food and sip your coffee and know that you didn't share the love of Jesus with someone? Why aren't we evangelizing more? CAN YOU SAY CONVICTION?

People were dying in Canton, GA this morning as I sipped my coffee and harvested my crops in Farmville on Facebook. Did I miss an opportunity to share Jesus with one of them? Did I miss an opportunity to share the love of Christ with someone who may have known one of them and could have shared that love with them?

I don't want to be known as a "Bible Thumper" because that person is just a little too much for everyone around them. But boy, I sure do want to be the person planting seeds of love, seeds of knowledge about the true picture of what a Christian life is.... that it is wonderful and not boring and full of don'ts. I want to plant seeds of compassion, seeds of mercy and giving, seeds that will grow and when given the opportunity I want to share the story of God, who He really is and who His Son is and lead someone to our awesome God. I want them to know it is not just about saying a prayer and they are done and it might be nice if they did the obligatory visit to Church on Sunday too. That is NOT worshiping God, that is a lie of the devil. I almost wish we could stop using the word worship and use relationship instead because there is such a deception as to what it even means to worship Him anymore. Relationship is a very personal term and relationship implies that there are two parties giving and taking, talking and answering, loving and being loved.

Does anybody feel this?

Well, I just know that if I can find the time to plant seeds on my farm in Facebook I should be able to find the time to plant seeds of the gospel too. There are WAY too many opportunities in daily conversation with people to miss out on a little seeding along the way.

Love y'all,


Oh God, you are so funny.

Oh my, I have been gone quite awhile. Quite unlike me as I am usually such a chatterbox. This has been such an eventful holiday season for me and I have just truly been too scattered about to blog or visit anybody else's blogs. I do want to say thank you to all of you for the Birthday well wishes. Thank you so much and thank you for the laughs. I am feeling much better although not skinnier lol.

We had such a blessed Christmas day, I hope all of you did too. It was just so much fun and relaxing. Mike did a deep fried turkey this year and boy was it fantastic! We cooked a 20lb bird in an hour and a half and it was moist and AWESOME!! I shall never bake a turkey again. The entire day was bliss.

I wanted to take a moment to pause and look at this year. I don't normally do that but 2008 was a major life changing year for me and when I look at 2008 which is mostly blogged about here it is incredible what God did in my life. I mean, it was AMAZING. I have spent my entire life slowly evolving into who I am but in 2008 God took me into warp speed and did a transformation in such a short time that it still blows my mind. He taught me so many things in that year that I would ask him over and over why so fast? As soon as he would teach me something He had me onto something else so quickly it was hard to keep it all straight sometimes. Maybe that was why God told me to blog? Having a written record is nice like that.

What was 2009 all about? Something beautiful...... 2009 was all about stepping into the will of God. Can I tell you what a relief it is to know what God's will is for a person? Decades of not knowing my calling or purpose and God so fantastically revealed it to me in 2009 and I so gladly stepped into it. 2008 was all about teaching me what it truly means to trust in the Lord with all my heart, learning that my character was of the utmost importance to God (walk before me and be blameless), most valueably learning to walk by faith and not by sight & knowing who I am in Christ, learning that being in the will of God is just as much about who we are on the inside as what we will "do" physically and that the closer I come to reflecting the character of Jesus the closer I come to knowing my true calling and purpose and that I need to seek the Lord with my whole heart each and every day and not ignore Him or put Him on the back burner and listen for His promptings.

2009 was about putting into practice what I had learned in 2008. It was time to put up or shut up and I liked that. I like tangible things that I can see or touch. 2009 was a year of living proof that God's word does not lie. I sought His will and His heart like never before and God laid out before me what I needed to do and together we did them. I don't do everything right, I never will but I do the best I can and I try that is for sure. Together, for the first time in my life I can say I didn't live my life as me, I lived it together with God & Jesus in me. I did what He showed me with His help and yes, everything His word said came to pass. His word did not lie. I sought out every single scripture that pointed the way to knowing God's will for our lives which I have laid out in a six part study on the sidebar and put them into practice in my life. I teach now, I NEVER thought I would teach Bible study but I do. That was all God & I love it so much. I get so much pleasure from our ladies Bible studies. I share what I have been given and it is so much fun!! I love it. I was terrified before our first lesson, does anybody remember that? I was so scared that I would not be able to even speak as I totally BOMBED as a speaker at Church that very first time to announce before the Church what our first lesson would be about and all the details such as what days and times we would meet. My voice quivered and shook and my hands were visibly shaking, it was soooooo embarrassing! But lots of you gave me wonderful advice, I really liked what Luther said too. It was a great help to me, thanks Luther!! But that is just it, on my own I was a flop. I was terrified and completely inadequate to speak simple words much less teach. It was staying in His word, praying to speak it boldly as though it were the very words of God coming out of my mouth and asking for His strength that allows me to teach that class. I knew the fact that I was even going to teach that class was His doing 'cause I sure don't ever seek out to be the center of attention of anything ha ha. I sought His will for me and He put me right into it. All I had to do was trust him and obey, sounds easy but whew, it sure can be hard to do something new and scary if I try to do it on my own.

Yes, 2009 was a year of tangible results from doing everything in the six part study on How To Discover God's Will for Our Lives. Want to hear something funny? Okay thanks 'cause I wanted to tell you this funny thing or maybe I have already? I forget. In the study I talk about the F word, Forgiveness. I talked about how God asked me to pray for every single person I could think of that had ever hurt me and that I was to pray blessings over them and good only, no bad. I was not to pray to fix them 'cause I got some conviction when I tried that ha ha, no I was to pray for blessings in their lives and for good things for them only. Well, in 2008 I prayed for my ex husband to find happiness and for God to give him a wonderful godly wife that would be a joy and a blessing to him. That wasn't easy at first 'cause honestly, I don't like him at all. I find him repulsive and abusive but I did pray that for him and I meant it after awhile. Soon any bitter feelings I had for him were gone 'cause it is hard to dislike someone you are praying great things over right? Well, part of that whole thing with God telling me to do all that was Him also telling me that He was going to grant these blessings to these people. I kind of forgot about that part until a couple of months ago.

Guess who got married this summer? Yep, my ex husband married a lady who as far as I can see is wonderful and nice and he is completely undeserving of her ha ha. She is GREAT. I kept telling Lexie to tell her to run when Lexie went down for the wedding, I was kidding of course and Lexie knew it but I honestly did feel sorry for this poor woman. Every now and then before and after the wedding when Lexie would bring up this woman I would feel so sorry for her and know that my ex did not deserve someone this wonderful and I was thinking about it one day when I wrote her to tell her how happy I was that Lexie had her for a step mom and such. Suddenly God just convicted me BIG TIME. He let me know that I had prayed for this woman to come into his life and God had done just as I asked Him to do. Here was a tangible result from all those prayers and I never saw it and was blind to the fact that God had answered that prayer just like I asked Him to. He gave that man every single thing I prayed for him in a wife. It was a powerful moment when I was mentally thinking how great she was that he did not deserve her and that if she was smart she would run hard and fast ha ha and God was like "HELLO? remember what you prayed, I told you I would do it and now that I have you don't even see it and you have the nerve to complain about it and think it should be changed?" Well, I just laughed about it and thought that was the funniest thing EVER. Be careful what you pray for ha ha.


Monday, December 21, 2009

It's My 40th Birthday Today.

Today is my 40th birthday. I am NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT. I haven't blogged in awhile, I have been overwhelmed with the busyness of the Holidays and such but I thought such a momentous day deserved some kind of record if you will.

Why am I not happy about 40?

I am not a numbers gal but 40 means something to me. You see, I have been thin all my life until I turned 30. I had my third child two weeks before I turned 30 and I had gained lots of weight with her and when I turned 30 I still had 40 lbs extra on me. I don't lose weight by what I eat, never have. I only lose weight if I go to the gym, period. I have always gone to the gym until my third kid. Long story long story long story but as many times as I have tried to go back to the gym life seems to throw me a curve ball and I can't do it. Mostly because my kids always scream at the gym daycare and they make me take my kid out and leave & hubby works all the time and then is tired when he isn't so he doesn't want to watch said young children either. SO....... I still have the 40 from Amber and yep, another 30 on top of that. Turning 40 means I have been fat for 10 years now. THAT IS SO DEPRESSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still catch my breath sometimes when I look in the mirror and see myself. In my mind I am still thin. A decade of fatness. I am very unhappy about this. I want to join a gym and I asked for a gym membership for my birthday. Hubs said yes and go find one but I can't find one with daycare, Brax is 3 now so I think he would stay in the daycare now. The day cares I did see were nasty. So, I am searching for a gym with daycare facilities that are not gross. We have a YMCA in Canton but their daycare workers are awful. I would not let them watch my dog. So, still searching, still searching.

I thought perhaps somebody would do something nice for me as it is a pretty big milestone but who the heck am I kidding? 4 days before Christmas everyone is always busy and I honestly cannot remember a single birthday being eventful or special since I had my first child. That would be 17 years ago. My mom always made my birthdays very special so I am grateful for that. She always threw me a gigantic pool party in the summer since it was cold, yes Miami does get a wee bit chilly in December ha ha. She always made sure that my relatives wrapped my presents in Happy Birthday paper and not Christmas. Anytime someone bought me a birthday present and/or Christmas present and the card said Merry Christmas/ Happy Birthday like people often would try to do she would always save Christmas wrapping paper and when their birthdays came she would wrap their gift in Christmas paper and give a card that said Merry Christmas/ Happy Birthday. Nobody ever did that more than once ha ha. She always tried hard to make sure I had just as good a birthday as everyone else that did not have one so close to Christmas. She always threw me a big party in the summer and she was the best mom in the world. She still is, mom and dad had me over for lunch on Friday and bought me ribs from my favorite rib place. YUMMO.

Lexie tells me she bought me the most awesome present in the world and that it is "HUGE" and that I will love her forever. Me thinks a trip to the spa perhaps? It's nice when your teen has a job ha ha. She can afford some good stuff us ladies like. Well, she is excited about it. I can't wait to see what it is although I will have a hard time accepting it. She needs clothes really bad and she spent a lot of money on me instead. Ain't that a woman for ya, sacrificing herself to make someone else happy? Her lammo lazy dad sent her some money for Christmas so I feel a little better knowing she can buy clothes with that.

But alas, I feel very depressed and down today. I think if I was thin I would care less. But I am not and knowing I spent my ENTIRE 30's fat is just stinkin depressing. I secretly hoped for a surprise get together or something but Mike says birthdays are like any other day and he feels no particular necessity to do anything like that. He was going to buy me something yesterday but we are so broke right now I told him not to. I just want the gift of being thin again. THAT'S ALL. I hate being out of shape. When you are fat it is hard to have energy! It just is not there. Every little thing is such a chore. Taking a shower is a hoot, when I get out and get dressed I swear the truth, I have no energy left to dry my hair ha ha. Is that not sad or what? I sit here typing with wet hair. Now that it is half dry I will go finish drying it but dang, I need a gym. I simply cannot let another year go by without working out. When Mike got laid off 2 years ago I was able to workout for 3 months and I lost 20 lbs doing Zumba at the YMCA. But then he was working again and over the next 7 months after that I gained the 20 lbs back. Yep, I have to go to a gym or my body could care less what I do or eat.

I have to buy my husband's car tag today. I'm like thanks honey. I'll take care of that for ya. Have a nice day. I think he is taking me out to dinner tonight. He mentioned something Saturday about it. I don't even want to go. Perhaps this is why men have a hard time understanding us? I am upset that nothing special EVER happens on my birthday so he says he will take me to dinner and I don't want to go. That is probably confusing for guys but I understand it pretty well. There is something just unspecial about going to dinner for me at least. If he invited friends to go that would be special. Whatever, I am weird. I think I just want to know somebody put some thought into making my day nice. Yeah, I think that is it. Well, hopefully I can find a gym with a daycare soon and get to feeling healthy and good about myself again.

Have a wonderful day and if I don't get back to the ole blog this week I hope each and every one of you have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Jesus has already given us the most precious, personal and perfect gift of all!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Rich People Eat The Grossest Food

I thought I would share something about myself today. Hope that's okay. Since I'm a funny kind of gal, let's make it something amusing shall we?

When I was younger I always knew that whatever I became when I grew up, I didn't want to be rich. Yep, that's right, I did not want to be rich. Not for the noble reasons you may think.....

Rich people eat the GROSSEST food.

Growing up in Miami, of course there is a lot of money lying around. My father belonged to a "fishing club" wink wink, mostly they fished but sometimes it was an excuse to go off and club it and chase the gals, but that's another story, lol. Well, most of those guys were very well off and every time we went to their homes to eat we always hit the Burger King before or after because ewwwwww gross, the food was unrecognizable. I mean what was that funky sauce or goo on top of my food? Why can't they just eat what middle class people eat?

Even in my treasured Harlequin romance books I loved to read as a teenager ( I snuck them) when they listed the meals the heroine was sharing with her rich bachelor it was something none of us would ever eat, right? Mostly I just read it and thought ewwwwwww, gross. I sure do hope I am never rich one day, I'll starve to death!!! We had some family that was not hurting for cash, same thing, if we ever went over for dinner we had to hit the Burger King to get some food or mom cooked before hand.

Why is it that rich people love freaky sauces and what is up with all the crazy dips and cheese balls? The last cheese ball I saw was coated with jelly and then rolled in almonds. I get a baby barf just remembering the hideous thing. Pine nuts, is there a status thing with the pine nuts? Rich people love pine nuts. In my best Chris Rock voice I want to say in these situations "Can't a girl just get some meatloaf?" Hee hee hee. Rich people love encrusted things. The only crust I have is on my bread, snort snort.

Raspberries, have you ever noticed rich people love raspberries? Oh yes they do. They will do whatever it takes to put a raspberry on something. Apparently putting a raspberry on something gives it an instant status boost. Don't get me wrong, at their peak season I like an occasional raspberry but I can guarantee you right now that on Peachtree Battle road here in downtown Atlanta there are raspberries in every mini mansion. I think they gossip about you if you don't keep them in the fridge at all times.

Fresh lemons are a given, if you are rich and you do not have fresh lemons on the table, on the food, in the glasses of tea and in a decorative urn immediate excommunication proceedings are held. Fresh lemons are basic 101 in rich people entertaining. I heart me some lemons though.

There MUST be a dip with "things" in it.

Mozzarella, provolone, cheddar and American cheeses are out. Things like goat cheese, blue cheese, and other assorted non American non middle class cheeses will be served.

Duck, lamb and veal instead of beef & chicken. Pot pie? Only if it has lobster in it.

Potato chips, Doritos? Nope, you will get Bagel Chips or Pita Chips at a rich person's house. Cheetos or Cheese Nips, no way baby, a cheddar cheese stick in a gourmet box from the supermarket deli is the delight of the rich person's snack palette.

I was at a rich person's house a few weeks ago to do lunch and was I ever so grateful for the rolls, turkey and roast beef because everything else on the table I either couldn't tell what it was or it was just the GROSSEST thing ever! It once again reaffirmed my childhood stance that I can simply never be rich or I would just starve to death. It might do me some good to be rich for a little bit, I need to lose a few pounds.

Well, I hope you enjoyed getting to know me a little ha ha. I know I know, I have some issues.


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Who Is Jesus?

Along my continual journey as a Christian I have had one question that has never been answered. Who is Jesus? I honestly have to say that I am confused here, no really.

I have tried to bring up this subject for discussion as I would really love to know scripturaly who Jesus is, specifically is Jesus the Son of God as an actual separate being or is Jesus God. The problem is that this subject puts people in a tizzy. I really want to know, honestly I do.

Some people say Jesus was God in the flesh. Okay, but enquiring minds want to know who was Jesus praying to if he was God? Who was Jesus talking to on the cross then if he was God? Why was Jesus asking God to take the cup from him of having to go through the torture that night in Gethsemane? How can Jesus be sitting on the right of God (like the Bible says) if he actually is God? (How can God sit next to himself?) Upon being asked when the world would end so to speak Jesus said only the Father knows, if he was God wouldn't he know? If Jesus was God himself.... And that is where I lose the Jesus was God in the flesh people. They can't answer those questions, at least those that I personally have spoken to.

Then there are the Jesus was God in the flesh but since God is Omnipresent and can be in all places at once since time does not exist in Heaven and God can slip in and out of time as He pleases, God became flesh but also existed in Heaven at the same time and his flesh self had no "heavenly" powers except what his God self allowed him to have while he was watching himself from heaven. Yes, a run on sentence if you have ever seen one. I have heard that only a few times. Is that a valid theory? I don't know...... that's why I am asking.

Then there is the Jesus is the Son of God, a literal separate person fully related to God but not God himself. You know, God's own actual Son. Sitting right next to God in Heaven. As in there are two throne chairs with two beings sitting on them. One being God and one being Jesus.

I always get confused by this. The Bible also says that man is the head of woman, Christ is the head of man and God is the head of Christ. All over the place it shows Christ as a separate being but as I like to call it, fully related, created by and a part of God but not God himself. Then when I hear preachers preach all the time they say Jesus was God in the flesh, he was fully God. Okay, help me here. How can that be? Does it say anyplace in scripture that God and Jesus are the exact same person? And if that is so....... how does that answer the first questions I pondered.

I have always considered God and Jesus to be separate beings. I always envisioned God taking a part of "who God is" and putting that into flesh so to speak in Mary's womb so that it was like Jesus had God's DNA shall we say but that he was separate spiritually from God as in a complete separate being.

Lately I have heard Jesus is God A LOT. Frankly, I am afraid to even bring it up anymore as people look at me like I am a monster when I bring it up. I can see it in their expressions "What? You don't know who JESUS IS?, What a FREAK!" Which brings me to another annoyance, can't a brother or sister just ask a question and be helped without someone judging them? Good grief.

So, I want to know if anyone truly knows who Jesus is. It really bothers me that I do not know or maybe I do know because what I think is right? Now I confuse myself. Some people pray to Jesus too. Are we supposed to pray to Jesus? I only pray to God. Is that wrong? Should we pray to both? Jesus never said we should pray to him after he went to be with the Father did he? I don't remember him saying that or is it just a given that since Jesus is our Savior that we should pray to him also? These things really bother me.

Now y'all, you know I always have to be honest here. I just hate it when people pretend they are at a place where they just know it all. I truly believe that if I studied the Bible every single day (as I mostly do) that when I am a hundred and five years old I would still be learning. Hence my screen name, Still Learning. I believe that I will always "still be learning" so this is why I am just frankly not scared of admitting that I do not know something this crucial for certain. I already spoke my position on who Jesus was.

I am looking for some help here, not wanting to argue anybodies position so if you comment something I will fully study it and look at it as help and not an opportunity to argue with you and please, nobody else argue either okay? I think a lot of people are confused about who Jesus is. Who do you think Jesus is? Who do you pray to? Can I ask why you think these things or have scriptures that I can study?

I would love closure on this subject. This is an excellent article on the subject but um, I am still VERY CONFUSED by it at the same time. Still don't know....... I highly recommend reading this article though.

Controversial as always,


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Best Teaching on Marriage I Have Ever Heard.

Okay okay, I know I have been writing about women & marriage a lot lately. I just wanted to add this in for anyone really interested in how a true biblical marriage should work. No, it is not just a matter of the wife submitting to the husband, oh there is so much more involved and most of it is work the man should be doing. Yes, that's right, the man. I found these two videos completely fascinating and oh baby, very convicting! When I was done watching these videos I had a whole new perspective and a desire to be a better wife and mother. I would say that even if your marriage is just fine and dandy these videos would be wonderful to watch and a wonderful reminder of how a wife and husband should be in the marriage. I've always said if the roles are properly fulfilled the man has it worse than the woman! Yes, he does. Lots of responsibility.

These videos are not short so please bookmark them as favorites if you do not have time or come back later to watch. They are fascinating and truly the best teaching on marriage I have ever heard. The pastor preaches a no holds barred sermon, he is honest about both roles and quite passionate about it. At the end of the men's video I will say he is quite overcome with emotion, mostly anger at men, and does get a little angry but you will LOVE the videos I promise.

There are two videos, the first one is for the men and the second video is for the women. Please watch and enjoy, I can't imagine how these won't just bless your socks off. I took 4 pages of notes, ha ha. Video for men Video for women

The absolute best teaching on marriage I have ever heard!

Have a great day,


Monday, December 7, 2009

God Had A Word For Me Today.

That's me and my birthday girl Amber. She turned 10 last Thursday. I love the expression on her face in this picture. Doesn't she look so happy?

And now for some serious stuff......

Let me start with this scripture.

Psalms 119:176 I have wondered away like a lost sheep; come and find me, for I have not forgotten your commands.

Oh boy.

The first scripture that punched me in the gut was the first. Psalm 119:1 Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the Law of the Lord. Immediately I went in my mind to this scripture which has stuck with me like super glue since I looked at it a couple of months ago. Genesis 17:1 When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said, "I am God Almighty; walk before me and be blameless."

Blameless defined- free of guilt; not subject to blame; "has lived a blameless life"; "of irreproachable character"; an impeachable reputation.

Which would bring us back to a post I did a few weeks ago on my prayer life. I knew I was not praying like I was in the past & God was dealing with me on that. I repented, surely I did & even wrote a post on it. Did I do better? Not much. Oh boy. I did better but I have not gotten back to the place I need to be in where I could honestly say I was seeking the Lord with my whole heart. Lately he has been getting 3/4 of my heart, I say with much regret.

So our Pastor on Sunday preached a sermon that I promise could have been written just for me and my family! Ouchies!!!! I knew before he was even done that I needed to go spend some time at the altar. I need to put Him first, He is all that matters. He is what I need to seek with my whole heart. My relationship with Him should be my first priority and He will keep everything else in line. We are having very touch times financially, oh yes we are and the enemy is using them to make me question lots of things. I have let the enemy win some battles lately in my mind. I guess we all do that sometimes, but it is no excuse for me really because I know better. Things like "What good does it do to serve God & believe the promises when all you are doing is struggling?" or "Things were looking so good and now they are so dire again, God must be angry at you or He isn't really involved in your life, you have to everything for yourself." UGH.... I hate fighting that stuff off but truly it's the ugly stuff that creeps into our minds. It is the enemy whispering things in our ears. I am so sick of him.

So I sure did repent again at the altar and cried my little eyes out. Pastor prayed over me too, he was a big encouragement. I studied this morning not knowing if God would have anything for me. I went to 1 Kings on my own but a FB scripture posted later after I had studied 1 Kings just screamed at me. It was Psalms 119: 49-50, thank you Suzanne!!! I knew immediately I had to look up the entire Psalm. So glad I did, I think God had some things for me today.

1 Kings, A plan was in effect to make Solomon king after David dies. Evil, pride and greed comes in and another brother makes himself King. In fact, the new king is already feasting and happy as a clam with himself. What about Solomon? Is all lost? His brother is already made himself king? What about what he was promised?

Psalm 119:50 My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life

Solomon does not lose his thrown, his mother and a priest go to David and David acts quickly to have Solomon anointed King and set about town on the Kings mule. The city is rejoicing so loudly for King Solomon that it disturbs the "other king" and all is lost for him. Solomon is king, just as it was promised to him. He did not lose heart, his mother did not lose heart. They went straight to the one who could make everything right. They did not give up and wander off......

God honors his Word. God honors his promises. We do not always do that. I cannot believe that I ever doubt whether His word is truly for me. What is the matter with me? As soon as I am alone this morning I am going to pray long and hard and give thanks for Him and his Word.

So here I see a story of God keeping His word & His promises to His servant. Even though all looks lost, God makes it all just as He said it would. It is all okay in the end. Then I go to Psalm 119 and see that reminder to be blameless. God said walk before me and be blameless.
Am I doing that?
Am I free of the guilt of not praying & seeking him with my whole heart and not a fraction heart? No.

And then I saw that last scripture..... I knew it was just for me today.

Psalm 119:176 I have wondered away like a lost sheep; come and find me, for I have not forgotten your commands.

Right in the heart that scripture went. I have not forgotten Lord, come and find me because I need you so very much right now. I will seek you at your throne and once again throw myself at the mercy seat this day.

"Walk with me and be blameless." is it really to much to ask from us?

Love ya,


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

We Can't Give Up

Recently I was having a conversation with the man about someone who has just given up on life. This person has had to endure cancer, a job loss resulting from the cancer, loss of health insurance resulting from the job loss, loss of home due to the job loss, had to file bankruptcy due to all of it, etc etc. They have had it pretty bad and basically have given up on life as most of us know it. My man calls him a gypsy now, it's his funny way of not getting aggravated at someone he loves so he calls him a gypsy. He travels around in a camper and works at the campsites for free rent and all the utilities there & also for a small pay check to buy food. A very meager means of survival at best and he & his wife travel from town to town now and go where the wind blows. Sometimes that sounds kinda nice to me. So I said well, I guess with all that has happened he has just given up.

My statement made the man a little mad and he said well we have had to endure basically the same exact stuff they did & we didn't just give up, why does he just get to give up? I knew the answer instantly "Because we have our faith." I said. Our faith does not allow us the luxury to give up. Nope, it sure does not. Our faith tells us not to flee not to fear, not to run. Our faith tells us to hold strong in the Lord, to cling to him in our storms of life. Faith in God does not come with the luxury of giving up on life because our faith always has hope. After all, what does the Bible say faith is?

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

By faith we stand. By faith we live. By faith we endure.

Sometimes life chokes us to the point where we just want to run to our beds, throw the covers over us and just cry our little eyes out. But our faith does not allow us to stay in the bed does it?

Faith aways births hope and in that hope we have a promise of things we cannot even fathom. Sometimes we just need to be still and live day by day, each day giving ourselves to him and all the baggage that comes with us. Sometimes it is too much to bear to even think about what tomorrow will bring. Jesus promises us rest if we will just take his yoke upon us and let him live in us. His yoke is His will, the work He has for us. So those of us who have this hope have no choice really than to just cast our cares upon the name of Jesus. To throw ourselves at the mercy seat and take the yoke of Jesus and let him live through us. What a beautiful promise we have in Him.

I have some sick kiddies so I am sorry if I do not get around to the blogs I normally do. I just dropped by yesterday and today for a quick post as it is my "therapy" ha ha. OH!! And my mommy is so sick to so would you please pray for her? She has pneumonia again & her heart is not strong enough to pump out the fluids. She is on oxygen and some meds but they may have to put a needle in her lung and draw it out. Due to her numerous medical issues this is a HUGE event for her as it has been done in the past. This is very dangerous to her health so I would really appreciate your prayers. I just came home from grocery shopping for them and she was looking better today but still very very sick and weak. Thank you so much for your prayers for her!!