Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A Pretty View

This view is 5 minutes from my house. This mountain is huge & the picture is taken so low it does not do it justice. But I love living at the very beginning of the North Georgia mountains, it is so pretty & great scenery is not far at all. I can escape city life in 10 to 15 minutes & be in the middle of nowhere in about 45. Love it. Today it is sunny & beautiful outside, yesterday it rained the entire day. ALL DAY & into the night.

Happily for me the store was actually busy & I was delighted with sales for the day. I was thrilled & my son thought I was a weirdo for thanking God all day & being so happy. I am so grateful for increase in sales. I give him ALL the credit for that. I am so grateful that my husband's remodeling business is just taking off so well. Can you believe that he employees 5 guys now? 5 guys? We still don't have any money to speak of.... all the extra is tied up in payroll for the other guys. I still don't care, he is bringing in enough to pay the bills, not much extra but hey, after the hell we've been through just paying the bills on time is pure elation for me. I am excited for hubby as he gets busier & busier, it is wonderful to watch someone in the process of being blessed. I always find it a humbling & fantastic thing to be a part of or watch God bless somebody. I mean it's God, the Almighty, Creator of all looking down on you. Helping you. Loving you. Providing for you. Healing you. Teaching you. Not somebody else, you. How freakin awesome is that?

My children are at the Atlanta Civic Center today at the King Tut exhibit. It is also my parents 41st wedding anniversary & they have 3 of my children. I hope they enjoy it, I wish I could have gone. The ticket prices are outrageous!! There goes the grocery money, but it's worth it.

Monday, November 24, 2008

A Cool Blog

Along my travels on Saturday to find out what people want I stumbled upon numerous blogs. This blog http://acupofair.blogspot.com/, called A Bum's Sack was really so interesting to me. He writes, well frankly I felt like I was reading from some famous author from long ago, like Hemmingway. He reminds me of Hemmingway, I'm a fan. So, I was captivated by this blog. I loved it & I read every word. I love honesty, it's hard to find someone who is just so open & honest not to mention wise too. Please go check out this man's blog. Every entry had meaning.

I told 3 of my children about his blog & his wise words. I told them all about (this was my favorite entry) the fast food misadventure & they were begging me to comment him back to see what the ending of the day was... They were taken with him too just from my recollection of the blog. My 11 year old son was with me today at the store & he asked to see the blog. I read him every entry (there are only 14) & he was captivated too. He really like this guy & he learned from him. Our experiences on this earth are all so different & yet all of us at some time or another seem to all come to the exact same place where we realize what life should mean to us. And it's all pretty much the same. No matter what our experiences we all have the same desires & come to the same realizations to treasure our precious time here. To love & be kind & patient. I am going to follow his blog if for no other reason than I loved his writing. He really should write. I wish I was wealthy & connected in the publishing circles so I could bring his words to the masses. Ah, there goes the activist in me again. If I had all the money in the world & had no worries I would probably spend my days helping people get a leg up in life or to realize their dreams. That's my dream life.
What's yours?

Friday, November 21, 2008

God to the RESCUE!!

Okay, I'm freaking out today. In a good way. BTW y'all, I already made a post today & it was a pretty good one but when I hit publish post something weird happened & it lost my post. Wah!!

I can't go through the process of doing it all again but the first part was all about Philippeans 4:4-7. Man, that whole passage is all about who I am right now. Okay, maybe I'll post those verses.

Phil 4:4-7
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

How many times have I read that passage, skimmed it, thought on it but today.... it sang to me. I love when that happens. Everything about me is summed up in this passage at this moment in time. I found it because all morning long Mr. Anxiety has been banging on the door of my heart & mind. I told him to go away, I'm not his friend anymore & he can't come to play anymore. He wasn't listening. I refused to let him in & when I got to work I took up my Bible & in the in Index ( one of my favorite parts of the Bible ) I looked up Joy & then Happiness. I read every scripture it listed. Phil 4:4-7 just sang to me. I felt compeled to do more than just read today & now I feel like it was God guiding me to this scripture. He has taken me to "that place" & I can't let Mr. Anxiety back in again. Then I won't be in "that place" anymore. So I just have had to keep continually praying & telling myself God hears me, God loves me & He is for me. He has already answered prayers & has already sent today's answer on it's way. Wait expectantly on what God has in store for me today. Today will be GREAT, not even good. So I'm freaking out because today is so so so so cold here in Georgia today & the wind could blow away a small dog. So it's freezing & windy, not a shoppers best friend. Why would somebody come out in the freezing cold windy weather to go to a gift store? I braced myself for a very slow day. I may have no sales today even. I am desperately needing to have a good day. I should do less than a $100 probably it's so cold outside. I am believing God for a $300 day. But just to show me He is in control...... God has already sent in 5 ladies, all 5 bought stuff & all of them were in the store less than 5 minutes. Okay, that NEVER happens. It's a gift store, filled with beautiful stuff & it smells great in here, I have hot coffee with gourmet creamers, brownies, mints. People usually stay awhile in here. There is no way it's a coincidence that 5 ladies in a row have come in, all been "in a hurry", bought stuff & been gone in less than 5 minutes. I know that's God. I'm freakin out!!! God is paying attention to me, He is comforting me in a struggle to kick Mr. Anxiety out of my head. I just think it's awesome when I get personal attention from God. It's soooo cool. I can't wait to come back here & report my sales tomorrow, even if it's not $300, I will have had a great day with God. He is here to help me & comfort me & what more could a girl want?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Look Who's 2 Today

Whoo Hoo, Braxy is 2!!
Only one more year to go. 3 seems to be the magical age where your kids calm down & us ladies can once again prance about our homes & do as we please. Yes!! One more year. He woke up in a good mood so let's hope it lasts. We had a nice moment last night.... he had woken up very very early yesterday so he was really tired last night around 8:15. He was really cranky (as usual) & his daddy put him on daddy's lap. Braxy didn't look happy. I asked him if he wanted to lay down with mama in my bed. He shook his head yes & stretched out his arms for me. Awww... how sweet. So I laid down with him & he was so tired he actually let me get a few hugs & kisses in. Usually you get smacked for such an intrusion. Braxy likes you to ask permission for kisses. He's into butterfly kisses right now but only at night when I put him to sleep. So I waited for him to fall asleep & I cuddled him all I wanted & I said to him "nanny nanny boo boo, I am hugging you."
I have been trying for one week now to try to get to a ladies only gym five minutes down the road from my shop. I can't get there. It's only $20 a month. That's cheap. I haven't gone though because I don't know how to get there. I can NEVER go after work. Hubby always has so much computer work to do at home and also he doesn't want to take care of Braxy. Which frankly irritates the poo out of me. He'd rather have a fat wife than watch the 2 year old a couple nights for a couple of hours. Mornings are hard because I am usually up from 3 to 5am with Braxy. Today he was up at 4. He goes back to sleep but I can't until 5 or 5:30. Then I am exhausted when I do get up to get the girls up for school or at 7:30 if hubby gets the girls up. Then of course I am getting old & I need at least one cup of coffee before I can really get moving. So I guess I have come to the conclusion that I have to stay fat or suffer sleep exhaustion for awhile & probably get more than a little aggravated with my husband because he is such a "man". Men really suck sometimes, I mean all of us are selfish sometimes, I know women who suck the lives out of their husbands & treat them unfairly. But on the whole, men are pretty selfish. I want so badly not to be fat anymore. It really consumes my whole attitude. So he's not willing... those are the cards in my hand. I guess I will have to be up in the middle of the night & get maybe another hour in & get up. I have to open the shop at 10. I will have to start getting ready at 6:30. Baby will have to get up at 7. I will have to leave by 8 to workout by 8:30. I guess that's not too horrible.... it's just that I am up in the middle of the night. Well, do I want to be skinny or not. I asked myself what would Joyce Meyer say to me. I could just hear her telling me I could whine about all that's not what I want it to be or I can deal with what I've got & do what I have to do. I am going to look at getting up at 6:30 as a positive to getting me to my goal & be excited about it. I used to have to be at work at 5am for over 10 years & let me tell you..... it sucked!! I really hate to get up early any more. I figure I will feel good about it as the fat melts away. I can't wait.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


Look who is turning 2 tomorrow!!
This is his usual face, Braxton is always crying, yelling or whining. I have no idea why. My other 3 children are little angels. They had stinky moments but this little guy is stinky with angelic moments. See the wet stain on his shirt? He loves to take a drink & then spit it out on us, the furniture, the windows & sometimes he dribbles it down on himself. Why? No clue. But that's my Braxton. He is a challenge.
Today I have an ad that comes out in a local popular paper with a coupon. $20 off a purchase of $75 or more. I am anxious to see the paper when I get home. It is so freaking cold here today & yesterday that the parking lot has been deserted for two days. I am soooo hoping for a few people to come in. Nobody has been in today. Sigh.
I am feeling optimistic today still. That is amazing in itself. I am praying & believing in God's word & his promises. He came to me, He brought encouragement to me, I know it was Him. Obviously He wants me to know I will be okay. That's all I really need to know, it would be lovely of course if I woke up 60 lbs skinnier, the 2 year old was kind & sweet & my business began to thrive. I would certainly like that to happen. But, who knows the mind of God? I just have to believe that He is with me & He is looking out for me. He gave me such a kind gift on Monday. What a thrill!!! I am so hoping to see at least one Internet order come in today. That would make my day. Free shipping over $75, that's a good deal for Internet shoppers because they can email me several addresses & I will ship each gift individually & they don't have to do ANY work for the out of town presents. I am hoping. Anyway, I feel good. That's a miracle right there if anybody has read this blog for more than a week. HA!! I love to feel good.
If I have learned anything, I have learned how important it is to have relationship with the Lord. To study His word. Know God. It's easy to forget in distress & I am glad I had that base to fall back on. Thank you Lord for picking me up again. I am so hoping in you & all that you have planned for me. I am anxiously awaiting a happy life again!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Hope Part 3

Psalms 34:
Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

Psalms 34:18-19
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all

Psalms 34:21-22
Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
The LORD redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

Psalms 37:1-11
Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong;
for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.
Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil.
For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.
A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found.
But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace.

There are several passages above that really speak to me. A big one is "do not fret-- it leads only to evil.". Wowie, I have been a fretter & it never did me any good at all. In fact it only made me more impatient & angry, which made me bitter & negative. Evil. I love the first verse....those who look to him are radiant. Oh, I love that. We all know people that just ooze of Jesus Joy, they have bright & smiling faces. So that passage got to me, I know of a few people who if I think about are radiant & they all love the Lord. Is that God's radiance? Man, that's big that God's love can actually SHINE forth from our physical beings. Ooohh, I want to shine too. I am mentally picturing myself in a little classroom at my desk with hand raised & bouncing in my seat yelling "me me me" at the Lord my teacher standing at the front of the classroom. I want that too. Can you imagine being radiant with the love of God? Right now my radiance stems from my bare minerals make up which by the way, I highly recommend.
I wish Joyce Meyers was my next door neighbor. Boy, through her I am really learning so much. Hearing, applying & learning are all very different things but she always pegs me to the core & somehow the way she words things makes it easy for me to try & apply what I have needed to. Joyce is my girl!! I highly recommend her website & her books. Love 'em.
Do you know the song/passage where we sing of the Lord asking whom shall I send.... and then we sing I will go. I never get through that without balling like a baby. How many people has God called & they would.... not go. How many times even has God moved us to call someone, they were just on our minds & we were too busy to do it or just dismissed it because of whatever..... if we have done that then we.... "did not go". I have been thinking of being a vessel for God & what that means in my life. I am not called to be a huge pastor but I am here on an everyday basis to be used locally. Will I go when God says whom shall I send? who will go? Will I answer the call? I want to, I hope so. I am a tired Christian right now. I am not involved in anything right now. Which is rare for me. I'm really pooped from my trials. But I am anxiously awaiting all of the wonderful things that are ahead of me through my Lord. Boy, I am so not wanting to forget all of my horrors & all that I have learned so that I tune out His will & His voice. I really like the verses above & they could probably be cultivated into one great Bible Study. If they haven't already.

Today is funny. Yesterday I was swamped with business. It was such a pretty gift from God. Somehow I just knew today was going to be no business. I didn't think about it much but I just FELT it rather than THOUGHT it. So I laugh today because it's 2:15 & I have only had one person come in & sold a 9.99 item. I think it's kind of funny. But I am cool with it because yesterday was flippin awesome & nothing can take that away from me. I love love love to be ringing people up & chat with them. And I did & it was great. So there.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Another Word of Hope

This is taken from Joyce Meyers:

Some people are afraid to hope because they have experienced so much hurt and disappointment that they don't think they can face any more pain. They refuse to hope so they won't be disappointed. Disappointment is painful! Rather than being hurt again, they simply refuse to hope that anything good will ever happen to them. This type of behavior sets up a negative lifestyle. Everything becomes negative because their thoughts are negative. Proverbs 23:7 says, For as he [a person] thinks in his heart, so is he....

(Okay, the above paragraph is totally ME. My prayers are hindered, I am torn because I have prayed & prayed & woken up with such wonderful expectation that things would turn around & then they wouldn't. When I have prayed the hardest it seems that the day would turn even more dire. I had eventually set myself up for disappointment. Also as my life has been filled with long hours & hard work I have set myself up to always believe I will never have anything to enjoy or have any fun. I have become a negative person through this long transformation whereas I used to be very happy & positive.)

More Joyce:

I needed to let go of the past and move into the future with hope, faith and trust in God. I had to get rid of the heaviness of despair, depression and discouragement. And I did, once I dug into the truth of God's Word! I found out that God is ...a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter of my head (Psalm 3:3). I began to turn my negative thoughts and words into positive ones! Now, I am not saying that you and I can get whatever we want by just thinking about it. God has a perfect plan for each of us, and we can't control Him with our thoughts and words. But we can think and speak in agreement with His will and plan for us. We can practice being positive in every situation that arises. Even if what is taking place in your life at the moment seems negative, expect God to bring good out of it as He has promised in His Word. You must understand that before your life can change, your attitude must change.

(My husband tells me this constantly. Jenn he says. You have to have more faith & just be happy. God has always come through for us, you can have bad moments but not bad days. He is right of course... it is hard to do, easy to say. But I must. An attitude change is a MUST.)

Another Joyce" Snipet":

All of God's promises are activated by faith

(Ay chi wa wa, that's a biggie! You mean I have to change my attitude first?)

More Joyce Wisdom:

If there is anything in this world that you can be sure of, it is change. Something is always changing. Why is it, then, that we find ourselves thinking, "Nothing will ever change... I'm always going to be like this... My situation will never change... He'll never change... She'll never change... I'm never going to be as good as so-and-so"? The only thing that will never change is God. For I am the Lord, I do not change... (Malachi 3:6). Everything else can change. If you have no hope of seeing change in your situation, change probably isn't going to come. We endure so many things emotionally that we really wouldn't have to suffer if we put our hope in God and stopped looking at all of the circumstances we can't control. We will never enjoy life unless we decide to! In order to live as God intends for us to live, we must truly believe that it is God's will for us to experience continual joy. Then we must decide to enter into that joy, which is essential to our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.

(She sure does have an awesome connection to God, that is one anointed lady. I always find wisdom in her words. I always find a reminder to put down my old self & become what God wants for me to be. Only God doesn't change, so that means everything has hope.)

God has been wonderful to me, He really has. I should already be evicted from my business but I asked them to help me out & wait until I could catch up on rent, they did not do that for the lady next door. They sued her & booted her out. When I asked they said okay & I am really behind...... I am still here. Surely that is God giving me a break. I am trying to be a good steward of my chance here. I am trying to give my customers good products & good prices. I am having sales & such.... but every one's broke & people are coming in like crazy comparison shopping & saying they are going with the lowest prices. I am nervous because I can discount like crazy but after the Holidays are over if I haven't made any money & sold the stuff for what it costs plus the shipping costs & the costs of the bag & tissue etc. Then I won't have any money to pay the rent etc. Then I will be booted out for sure. If something is 50% off, then the business is usually already losing money on something. It is hard to know what to do to get people to spend their money with me. I will just have to pray for God to bless me & if I give a good value then maybe He will predispose people to spend money with me. What more can I do? Anyway, I am so very grateful that my husband is now so busy with work he doesn't hardly know what to do with himself. If it wasn't for that stupid worker's comp insurance problem he would have already hired 2 or 3 more men. I hate that because that's 2 or 3 families that could have money coming in & don't. God will make a way for him, I know He will.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Renewable Resourses

Something that has been on my mind lately.... walking in love. I really want to do that. Everyone knows someone that is sweet, soft spoken, not easily angered, loves the Lord & it shows, just so sweet & blessed, quiet, everyone loves her. I have always wanted to be that lady. I never will, God did not make me that way. But I always look to those ladies for inspiration. I am a Joyce Meyers type of person. I have lots of opinions & I love to share them. Not in a bossy way, but if a subject comes up, I always eagerly join in & I am a extrovert of sorts. So I am trying.... I have really been trying to walk in love more with my husband. We are both really stressed right now. We had a difficult & painful pregnancy 3 years ago & the last two years have been spent raising a most difficult child who will turn 2 on the 20th. He is still in his crib in my room, still doesn't sleep through the night. So needless to say with the pregnancy, the crying baby, sleepless nights, the layoff, business problems, financial hell, we haven't had much ahem... passion for each other. Never mind lack of privacy. I have wondered much the last few months if we could ever get it back, when was the last time he really really kissed me, or I him. I don't mean a peck.... I mean a real stirring kiss that made you melt. Passion. We had definitely lost it. As I have begun my walking in love journey, he responded with more kindness too. Then a few days ago, I was determined to have an answer to my passion question. Is it even still there or have we been married too long & have too many problems. So being somewhat shy, I hinted around that I was wanting some close & private time. He wasn't biting. Then later in the wee hours something wonderful happened. He must have listened to me.... gotten the hint & maybe he had been wondering himself too. Somehow we reconnected in a way we had not since we were dating. YES, exactly what I had been wondering..... was it still there. Yes, it was & it was wonderful. I am not talking about a sex act, I am talking about passion, heat, goose bumps, excitement. Ever since then, we have been so close. We have both been walking in love with each other. He knocked my socks off last night.... I was supposed to paint a dining room table he built for me for my store. The 2 year old was really really horrible as he was extremely tired & hubby had so much work to do. So I didn't do it, I kept the baby away from everyone & then fell asleep with him. I was supposed to paint after I put him to sleep. It HAD to be done. I didn't do it. Too tired, I had been up 3 hours in the middle of the night with my mom who's defibrillator had gone off at 2am. Long story, she's okay now. Anyway, I woke up at midnight, hubby is usually still working. I put Braxy in the crib & peeked out. Hubby was no where in sight. I check the whole house, no hubby. Now for some reason, suspicion crept in & for whatever reason I started to assume he was up to no good & hiding somewhere. I am nuts, yes. Then it hit me.... I peeked through a window in my home that overlooks the garage window, there he was, painting my table at midnight. After a wave of guilt washed over me I was so touched. I felt so honored to be his wife. Isn't it wonderful to know love & passion is a resource that is renewable? It is never too late for love. It is never too late to fix what is broken, God has blessed us greatly with the ability to love. That is what we have been commanded to do. Love others as He has loved us. Love one another as we would want to be loved. I did not disturb him, he was doing something special for me & I did not want to spoil it. I kept thinking about all the things in my life that maybe I have lost, personality traits, etc. It's not too late, a renewing of the mind & spirit is a gift from God. We need only to embrace it & the gift is ours, He has already given it to us.

If there is something in your life that needs renewing, it is never too late. Pray about it & go for it. Jesus came that we would have life & have it more abundantly. God did not fill us full of resources that extinguish & then can be no more. Our gifts from the Almighty are renewable! Thank you Jesus, thank you Lord for showing me one more beautiful lesson. Thank you for teaching me that it is never too late to renew anything you have given to us. Love, love all you can, with all your heart & soul. And lastly, thank you for a husband that can still give me goosebumps & tingles. Hee hee, I had to say it.

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Best Sunday!!

My childhood friend Tasha came to visit me all the way from Indiana this Sunday. Y'all, she flew in on Sunday at 9am & I dropped her off at the airport Monday at 5am. Now that is LOVE. What an adventure she had. It was just the best day for me & I hope it was just as nice for her too. I don't have any close friends anymore & it was just so wonderful to visit with Tasha again. We were such good childhood friends, she lived right behind me. We went to high school together too & it was always a treat when she drove me to school & I did not have to ride the bus. I especially liked her BMW, at 16!! she had a beamer. man. Anyway, she was always so sweet & she still is. My mom always loved her so much & my mom was so excited to visit with her again too. When I got back from the airport this morning my mom was waiting on me. She told me that she was awake at 3:45 am when we left but she didn't want to come up because she had started to cry. She was already missing Tasha. I wish I had known that, I looked downstairs before we left but I didn't see any lights. She was just sitting on the couch in the dark tearing up. Stinker. I would have taken her with us.
I was just so happy to spend the day with a friend & catch up on her life. To hear about her hubby & kids, that was really nice. I miss having a friend to be close to. Southern ladies are super kind to be sure but it sure is hard to find anyone who is not always running crazy like I do. Everyone around here is always busy, running around & stressed. Must be the clean air that makes us crazy. I miss Tasha already, I wish we lived closer. She got a first hand experience with my little crazy Braxton bear, I think she knows now that I do not exaggerate his stinkerness. He is a wild man. I was nervous for her to meet my kids, she is so soft spoken & gentle. I was afraid she would be shocked by my loud & talkative kids. Amber fell in love with Tasha as I knew she would,Amber was kind enough not to dispense with too much drama for the evening & it was fun. It was like a present from God to give me such a nice present as a visit from a true friend.

Another great thing was during my "snooze time" I was listening to Joyce Meyers preach on TV. WOW, she always hits a home run with me. It's like she has cameras in my house, she knows me girl. So I have been going on & on about my prayer life being hindered you know? How I keep trying not to bring up my dire financial needs & stuff, y'all I'd just like to pray again...... I have had issues with "begging" God. That was what she was preaching about.... another home run. She was just saying that I need to pray for my needs, God won't forget & then BELIEVE that God knows what is best for me. Then I need not to become a beggar. Y'all, I am a beggar. Begging at the throne of God. A beggar. She said to thank God for knowing my needs & beliving in Him & thank him for meeting my needs & loving me. HUGE!!!!!!!!! It was just so cool for her to talk about the whole begging thing. THEN...... she started talking about CONFUSION. I just posted about my whole confusion thing. She said that confusion was me trying to figure out something that only God knows the answer to. I will not find it. I am fuzzy on the rest. I am praying for God to do a replay of this soon again so I can get it all. It was a lot for me to take in. It was like the whole sermon was meant for me, I am so thankful for Joyce Meyers. She is totally tuned in to God for Him to flow through her like that. AWESOME!!!!!!!!

Friday, November 7, 2008


I am sick today. I also have a muscle issue so I was playing solitaire on my work computer even though I have a thousand things to do, so I can relax & maybe my muscles would stop hurting so bad. So anyway, I just got in some new Fisher Price toys & my 11 year old has just entertained me so much these past few minutes. One of the toys is a felt play set all about dinosaurs. He has snuck & opened one & has it all spread out & has all the dinosaurs all over the floor. He is playing with it like he is 5 again. He is making little dinosaur sounds & talking to them. I am trying so hard not to laugh, because it's just so sweet & I don't want to disturb him. How fun to be young again, so innocent. Often, I wish I could have a do over, but at the same time I don't want one because then I wouldn't have any of my children. But, oh, how wonderful to be so young again & have your whole life ahead of you. No one ever told me I had to go to college, no one ever encouraged me to be anything. I never thought about college until I was a Senior, didn't go.... got married one month after graduation. Which was fine.... it lasted 5 years. More than most. But I see Brandon playing & it is just so nice, he is so happy. It makes me feel good to know I am doing something well. If I have done anything well, I have been a good mother. Not perfect. But I am a great mom. My kids are all wonderful & they are happy. Amber (8) is the only one with some issues about needing constant attention.... a leftover factor from having another child. Braxton of course is rotten but I just keep telling myself he's getting all the bad out early. Really, Braxy just hates being home. If you take him out of the house, he is quite fine. He is like his Dad, they both hate to be inside. I'm so proud of my kids. They are all born again except Braxy. They have all been Baptized (except Braxy). They pray, they know God, they aren't bullies, they are kind. That is so important to me, to raise kind children. This world is so cruel, dog eat dog. I don't want my children to be anything like that. Which is of course why they take karate. Kind kids get picked on. Speaking of which...... men are weird. My son home schools with me at the store. There is another boy in the store next to me who is home schooled too. They both go to the same karate class also. The other boy is a year older than mine. Anyway, the other boy is a 2nd degree black belt & mine is just going for his recommended black belt this Saturday. So the other boy likes to bully my son a little because Brandon is so passive. The Saturday before Halloween, Brandon asked a girl out & she said no. He was upset about it and the boy next door found out. So he started taunting my son about it, finally at the end of the day my son had enough. He just charged the other boy & started pounding on him. The boy was so shocked he was momentarily stunned & then he began to punch back. I broke it up. I had to leave later & my son was still there with my hubby. Well, it happened again. They got into a big fight, karate skills & all. Hubby let them duke it out, punches & all. Brandon got a little hurt but he got a real nice punch in on the boy's nose & made him cry. Ever since then, they are like the best of friends. Men.

My neck is killing me, I need a massage!!

Going to go now & lay down on the floor behind the register. Have a nice weekend.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Fun Saturday.

Could this tapestry be any more beautiful? I want it bad. How could somebody not want to buy this? I could put this beauty in a dozen places in my home. I am not taking him home though, right now I would much rather sell him to a good home.

Saturday I had a fun night with my kids playing charades. Haven't played that in a long time, but it was so much fun. No TV & none of us died. Imagine that.

My husband spent the weekend making up to me by making me a beautiful dining room table for my store & installing a nice sound system. He then filled my ipod with great Christmas music. So he is forgiven. When my first husband screwed up he bought jewelry, this one builds me things. Men are cute. How can you be mad at a guy that builds you stuff?

Church was awesome on Sunday. Pastor had a fantastic salvation sermon & nobody came up to be saved. Which was really shocking since I wanted to go up there & I am already born again. I mean the sermon was THAT good!! Nobody came up. I was like, surely there is a teenager in here or something? Nobody. Some of us talked afterwards & we were all blown away by the preaching & we all agreed that it had us motivated into wanting to down to the altar but the call was for those who needed salvation. It was really strange that nobody came. I can say one thing, his hands are clean but it sure was a good one.

So Saturday afternoon my husband came & got me from my store. He said there was something I had to see. He took me to a store 5 min down the road that has been open about a year but I didn't even know it was there. People are just finding out about it really. So anyway, he tells me he went into it & that I have to also. I thought I would die!!!!!!!!!! I went in & they had so much of my stuff!!!!!!!!!!! That is not allowed to happen, lines are protected or reps don't let stores too close together order the same stuff. Now I think I know what has happened to my sales. I was furious with my big rep compnay & emailed them immediately. They have to according to their own rules not let her order the same stuff or lines as me anymore. It was like a carbon copy to some extent of my store. She is in an up & coming shopping center. I am hoping for some resolution there so my sales can come back. Well, atleast I know where my sales went.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Trick or Treat

Well, we went trick or treating. My husband stayed behind with the 2 other men & ate & drank beer & had himself a nice time I suspect. I am not talking to him so I wouldn't know. I had to leave my two middle children with friends because I had to head back to the house we met at because my 2 year old was making me crazy. It got to be too much. I had the youngest one so he was the slowest & the older kids didn't want to wait so they were always 2 or 3 houses ahead. Can't blame them. So one of the other moms stayed with them as well as the other moms who were in our huge group. One of my friends lagged behind with me but they kept calling her to come up with them. So basically I was by myself with Braxy a good part of the evening, sometimes we managed to stay in the group when I could coax Braxy back into his stroller. He was excited & he has never been out in the evening like that before. I think he was a little confused & kept trying to go into the people's houses. We walked a long long way mostly downhill so when I went back towards the house I realized just how out of shape I was. I thought I was going to have a heart attack & die on the side of a stupid hill. I love Georgia but we have too many freakin hills, especially in our subdivisions. I had to stop once my heart was beating so fast, the stroller loaded down with a kid sure is heavy. That struggle worked me up into a real good ticked off mood so when I got back I gave the baby to hubby & pretty much haven't spoken to him since. Except for telling him he was a jerk.

The other ladies couldn't understand why I was mad at him. They all stay at home of course so they all had the opinion that their hard working hubbies deserved a night of fun together since they all pal around & do lunch & their nails & stuff. You know all the things I never get to do but want to. That irritated me too, I'm like "hello, I work 6 days a week & have now for over a year & he gets 2 whole days off a week. He needs to be helping me.". Then they kind of "got it" a little. God, it must be nice to live such a simple & happy life. Your husband works outside the home, plenty of money in the bank, & you get to do whatever you want to. Kids are in school all day, just la ti da with the ladies all afternoon. Where did I go wrong.

Yeah, I've definitely turned into a bitter old broad. Yuck. I was beginning to make good friends with these two ladies from karate & church but after last night I can see it isn't going to work. From talking to them most of their outings are expensive or involve the men taking it easy whilst the women folk tend to the children & everything else. No thanks. I work hard too & I deserve to have fun too if we actually do get to do something. Doing everything while watching your husband kick back & relax is not fun, why would anyone think that is fun? Are you kidding me? I don't understand women. I also don't understand my husband being so selfish. I would not have done that to him. Blah blah blah, I sure I would have found a way to ruin trick or tricking for myself somehow.

I am becoming more like my father, a cynical old ass.

I keep thinking .... this can't be my life. It all started out so good. What the heck happened? People used to always say, Jenn's always got it all together. Now I'm a bitter unhappy old broad, with 60 pounds to lose. Speaking of which, it's November & I don't have one single pair of pants to wear now that I broke my only pair yesterday. I will have to dip into grocery money to buy another pair. It's getting really cold here now, especially in the a.m. I am hoping to go to Belk's & get a red dot clearance pair.

The positive side of personal finances is that my hubby has made some wonderful connections business wise & he looks to be working steady now. He has made some insurance connections & has a bunch of work lined up from people who have made insurance claims. For some reason people seem to love to burn their houses down. It's getting colder now so unfortunately people will really be burning their houses down with their heaters soon. At least hubby will get to rebuild some of those houses. I am very grateful for that. We will hopefully get to catch up on bills in the next month or two. I will be really glad for the phone to stopping ringing from people wanting money from us. It's pretty much unplugged now all the time.

My teenager wants to have family fun night. No TV allowed, only board games. That is always fun. Looking forward to that. I am thinking that we may bake some tollhouse cookies too, the kids ALWAYS love to do that. We'll see. I have been sick & my head is killing me. My throat feels like there is a fire burning inside of it. I wish I could go to the doctor. Anyway, I am going to have a good day if it kills me. Without my husband of course!! Ha ha, I'm not that sweet. He's still on my poop list.