Monday, December 28, 2009

Bible Thumping & Seed Planting

"Is she some kind of Bible thumper?" I heard those words a couple of days ago and it just really took me by surprise when I heard them. I spend so much time around truly devoted Christians that have personal relationships with the Lord. I have a personal relationship with the Lord too and while I honestly realize many people find God talk boring and even worse, Christians who talk about God annoying and boring it always shocks me when I am in a group of people who can't stand any "God talk". It really does.

The label "Bible Thumper" is not something I am not even going to argue with someone nor were they refering to me when they asked the question thankfully. I have known a few Bible thumpers in my time unfortunately. They are the legalistic Christians who say they have Jesus but show little love. They are so proud of how "holy" they are and let everyone around them at all times know how "unholy" they are. They evangelise constantly and for that I give them much respect but they do it in a way that is annoying, judgemental and well, mean. Who wants to follow that ole crow?

I wondered what to do at that point, should I speak that a Christian way of life does not have to be a hypocritical and boring one? So I just asked God for a door of sorts. He gave me one. God, you are soooo cool. It was pretty neat, the subject just eased into a Biblical teaching that I just happened to have finished studying and I just couldn't let the opportunity to speak what the Bible says about this subject go. What happened next was awesome. As I gently eased into what God would say about this suddenly this very loud room packed with people went dead silent. Dead silent. I spoke about God's truth on this and everyone listened, quietly and intently. It was a beautiful moment for me personally. Then I cracked a joke of sorts to put the room back to a "normal" mood and everyone smiled and began talking again.

I learned something wonderful from that. People are curious about God's word. I think they were really interested in what I had to say and maybe they hadn't heard about God before without being in a boring church or by a condescending person telling them they are living a sinful life. For me, it was beautiful to be able to share knowledge about God and how we are created in different ways in His image with people who may have never heard that before. I would have LOVED to go "full sermon" but that would have been pretty rude of me, it wasn't the place or time. But, I would have LOVED it.

I have never heard the name of the Lord taken in vain with curse words so many times before. I think I visibly cringed each time I heard it. It was almost painful to hear it so y'all I had to get me some good stuff in too. Do you ever just wish you could tell people about God and Jesus and they just get it and want Him? UGH. It is so frustrating sometimes to try to insert God's truth and word into conversations with people who do not either believe in Him or actively worship the Lord in any way. They are so resistant to any mention of going to church at all aren't they? I wonder what has happened to them to make them not worship or believe? Probably lots of things.... but you know what I have learned this past year that I know that I must teach my children and as many people as I can?

I have learned that I need to teach my kids that worshiping God is something that you can't just stop doing. Worshiping God needs to be viewed as an actual personal relationship with another being. If we break a relationship off with another person we know we are no longer connected to them in any way so how can we break off a personal relationship with God and still say we are part of Him and His family? We need to stay connected, we need to talk to Him, we need to do all the things with God that we would desire someone in a relationship to do with us at the very least? I mean, how ridiculous would it be to get married to someone and then leave them a few years later & disappear but 20 years down the road have someone ask you about your spouse and you would say "I've been married over 20 years." No, you haven't. You quit being married the day you left your spouse. I am not even getting into a salvation discussion here but one of all the time I hear people say they believe in God or that they are Christians but it has been years since they entered a Church. They can't remember the last time they read anything in a Bible. They do not hardly or ever pray but since they prayed a salvation prayer when they were a little kid and went to Church as a youth and visit during the special holidays sometimes they think they are just fine and dandy with God and are a part of his family. It is just an awesome work that Satan has done to deceive people. He has done a great job of deceiving people in that way and how did we ever let him get away with it?

It frustrates me so..... I just want to see people happy and not let another soul over into Satan's camp. I heard a pastor the other day say people are dying constantly and then he began tapping rapidly on the podium. They are dying at this pace all around your city, as he is still tapping, while you are eating lunch.... again more tapping, while you are brushing your teeth..... again more tapping, while you sip your coffee...... more tapping. How can you sit there and eat your food and sip your coffee and know that you didn't share the love of Jesus with someone? Why aren't we evangelizing more? CAN YOU SAY CONVICTION?

People were dying in Canton, GA this morning as I sipped my coffee and harvested my crops in Farmville on Facebook. Did I miss an opportunity to share Jesus with one of them? Did I miss an opportunity to share the love of Christ with someone who may have known one of them and could have shared that love with them?

I don't want to be known as a "Bible Thumper" because that person is just a little too much for everyone around them. But boy, I sure do want to be the person planting seeds of love, seeds of knowledge about the true picture of what a Christian life is.... that it is wonderful and not boring and full of don'ts. I want to plant seeds of compassion, seeds of mercy and giving, seeds that will grow and when given the opportunity I want to share the story of God, who He really is and who His Son is and lead someone to our awesome God. I want them to know it is not just about saying a prayer and they are done and it might be nice if they did the obligatory visit to Church on Sunday too. That is NOT worshiping God, that is a lie of the devil. I almost wish we could stop using the word worship and use relationship instead because there is such a deception as to what it even means to worship Him anymore. Relationship is a very personal term and relationship implies that there are two parties giving and taking, talking and answering, loving and being loved.

Does anybody feel this?

Well, I just know that if I can find the time to plant seeds on my farm in Facebook I should be able to find the time to plant seeds of the gospel too. There are WAY too many opportunities in daily conversation with people to miss out on a little seeding along the way.

Love y'all,


Oh God, you are so funny.

Oh my, I have been gone quite awhile. Quite unlike me as I am usually such a chatterbox. This has been such an eventful holiday season for me and I have just truly been too scattered about to blog or visit anybody else's blogs. I do want to say thank you to all of you for the Birthday well wishes. Thank you so much and thank you for the laughs. I am feeling much better although not skinnier lol.

We had such a blessed Christmas day, I hope all of you did too. It was just so much fun and relaxing. Mike did a deep fried turkey this year and boy was it fantastic! We cooked a 20lb bird in an hour and a half and it was moist and AWESOME!! I shall never bake a turkey again. The entire day was bliss.

I wanted to take a moment to pause and look at this year. I don't normally do that but 2008 was a major life changing year for me and when I look at 2008 which is mostly blogged about here it is incredible what God did in my life. I mean, it was AMAZING. I have spent my entire life slowly evolving into who I am but in 2008 God took me into warp speed and did a transformation in such a short time that it still blows my mind. He taught me so many things in that year that I would ask him over and over why so fast? As soon as he would teach me something He had me onto something else so quickly it was hard to keep it all straight sometimes. Maybe that was why God told me to blog? Having a written record is nice like that.

What was 2009 all about? Something beautiful...... 2009 was all about stepping into the will of God. Can I tell you what a relief it is to know what God's will is for a person? Decades of not knowing my calling or purpose and God so fantastically revealed it to me in 2009 and I so gladly stepped into it. 2008 was all about teaching me what it truly means to trust in the Lord with all my heart, learning that my character was of the utmost importance to God (walk before me and be blameless), most valueably learning to walk by faith and not by sight & knowing who I am in Christ, learning that being in the will of God is just as much about who we are on the inside as what we will "do" physically and that the closer I come to reflecting the character of Jesus the closer I come to knowing my true calling and purpose and that I need to seek the Lord with my whole heart each and every day and not ignore Him or put Him on the back burner and listen for His promptings.

2009 was about putting into practice what I had learned in 2008. It was time to put up or shut up and I liked that. I like tangible things that I can see or touch. 2009 was a year of living proof that God's word does not lie. I sought His will and His heart like never before and God laid out before me what I needed to do and together we did them. I don't do everything right, I never will but I do the best I can and I try that is for sure. Together, for the first time in my life I can say I didn't live my life as me, I lived it together with God & Jesus in me. I did what He showed me with His help and yes, everything His word said came to pass. His word did not lie. I sought out every single scripture that pointed the way to knowing God's will for our lives which I have laid out in a six part study on the sidebar and put them into practice in my life. I teach now, I NEVER thought I would teach Bible study but I do. That was all God & I love it so much. I get so much pleasure from our ladies Bible studies. I share what I have been given and it is so much fun!! I love it. I was terrified before our first lesson, does anybody remember that? I was so scared that I would not be able to even speak as I totally BOMBED as a speaker at Church that very first time to announce before the Church what our first lesson would be about and all the details such as what days and times we would meet. My voice quivered and shook and my hands were visibly shaking, it was soooooo embarrassing! But lots of you gave me wonderful advice, I really liked what Luther said too. It was a great help to me, thanks Luther!! But that is just it, on my own I was a flop. I was terrified and completely inadequate to speak simple words much less teach. It was staying in His word, praying to speak it boldly as though it were the very words of God coming out of my mouth and asking for His strength that allows me to teach that class. I knew the fact that I was even going to teach that class was His doing 'cause I sure don't ever seek out to be the center of attention of anything ha ha. I sought His will for me and He put me right into it. All I had to do was trust him and obey, sounds easy but whew, it sure can be hard to do something new and scary if I try to do it on my own.

Yes, 2009 was a year of tangible results from doing everything in the six part study on How To Discover God's Will for Our Lives. Want to hear something funny? Okay thanks 'cause I wanted to tell you this funny thing or maybe I have already? I forget. In the study I talk about the F word, Forgiveness. I talked about how God asked me to pray for every single person I could think of that had ever hurt me and that I was to pray blessings over them and good only, no bad. I was not to pray to fix them 'cause I got some conviction when I tried that ha ha, no I was to pray for blessings in their lives and for good things for them only. Well, in 2008 I prayed for my ex husband to find happiness and for God to give him a wonderful godly wife that would be a joy and a blessing to him. That wasn't easy at first 'cause honestly, I don't like him at all. I find him repulsive and abusive but I did pray that for him and I meant it after awhile. Soon any bitter feelings I had for him were gone 'cause it is hard to dislike someone you are praying great things over right? Well, part of that whole thing with God telling me to do all that was Him also telling me that He was going to grant these blessings to these people. I kind of forgot about that part until a couple of months ago.

Guess who got married this summer? Yep, my ex husband married a lady who as far as I can see is wonderful and nice and he is completely undeserving of her ha ha. She is GREAT. I kept telling Lexie to tell her to run when Lexie went down for the wedding, I was kidding of course and Lexie knew it but I honestly did feel sorry for this poor woman. Every now and then before and after the wedding when Lexie would bring up this woman I would feel so sorry for her and know that my ex did not deserve someone this wonderful and I was thinking about it one day when I wrote her to tell her how happy I was that Lexie had her for a step mom and such. Suddenly God just convicted me BIG TIME. He let me know that I had prayed for this woman to come into his life and God had done just as I asked Him to do. Here was a tangible result from all those prayers and I never saw it and was blind to the fact that God had answered that prayer just like I asked Him to. He gave that man every single thing I prayed for him in a wife. It was a powerful moment when I was mentally thinking how great she was that he did not deserve her and that if she was smart she would run hard and fast ha ha and God was like "HELLO? remember what you prayed, I told you I would do it and now that I have you don't even see it and you have the nerve to complain about it and think it should be changed?" Well, I just laughed about it and thought that was the funniest thing EVER. Be careful what you pray for ha ha.


Monday, December 21, 2009

It's My 40th Birthday Today.

Today is my 40th birthday. I am NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT. I haven't blogged in awhile, I have been overwhelmed with the busyness of the Holidays and such but I thought such a momentous day deserved some kind of record if you will.

Why am I not happy about 40?

I am not a numbers gal but 40 means something to me. You see, I have been thin all my life until I turned 30. I had my third child two weeks before I turned 30 and I had gained lots of weight with her and when I turned 30 I still had 40 lbs extra on me. I don't lose weight by what I eat, never have. I only lose weight if I go to the gym, period. I have always gone to the gym until my third kid. Long story long story long story but as many times as I have tried to go back to the gym life seems to throw me a curve ball and I can't do it. Mostly because my kids always scream at the gym daycare and they make me take my kid out and leave & hubby works all the time and then is tired when he isn't so he doesn't want to watch said young children either. SO....... I still have the 40 from Amber and yep, another 30 on top of that. Turning 40 means I have been fat for 10 years now. THAT IS SO DEPRESSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still catch my breath sometimes when I look in the mirror and see myself. In my mind I am still thin. A decade of fatness. I am very unhappy about this. I want to join a gym and I asked for a gym membership for my birthday. Hubs said yes and go find one but I can't find one with daycare, Brax is 3 now so I think he would stay in the daycare now. The day cares I did see were nasty. So, I am searching for a gym with daycare facilities that are not gross. We have a YMCA in Canton but their daycare workers are awful. I would not let them watch my dog. So, still searching, still searching.

I thought perhaps somebody would do something nice for me as it is a pretty big milestone but who the heck am I kidding? 4 days before Christmas everyone is always busy and I honestly cannot remember a single birthday being eventful or special since I had my first child. That would be 17 years ago. My mom always made my birthdays very special so I am grateful for that. She always threw me a gigantic pool party in the summer since it was cold, yes Miami does get a wee bit chilly in December ha ha. She always made sure that my relatives wrapped my presents in Happy Birthday paper and not Christmas. Anytime someone bought me a birthday present and/or Christmas present and the card said Merry Christmas/ Happy Birthday like people often would try to do she would always save Christmas wrapping paper and when their birthdays came she would wrap their gift in Christmas paper and give a card that said Merry Christmas/ Happy Birthday. Nobody ever did that more than once ha ha. She always tried hard to make sure I had just as good a birthday as everyone else that did not have one so close to Christmas. She always threw me a big party in the summer and she was the best mom in the world. She still is, mom and dad had me over for lunch on Friday and bought me ribs from my favorite rib place. YUMMO.

Lexie tells me she bought me the most awesome present in the world and that it is "HUGE" and that I will love her forever. Me thinks a trip to the spa perhaps? It's nice when your teen has a job ha ha. She can afford some good stuff us ladies like. Well, she is excited about it. I can't wait to see what it is although I will have a hard time accepting it. She needs clothes really bad and she spent a lot of money on me instead. Ain't that a woman for ya, sacrificing herself to make someone else happy? Her lammo lazy dad sent her some money for Christmas so I feel a little better knowing she can buy clothes with that.

But alas, I feel very depressed and down today. I think if I was thin I would care less. But I am not and knowing I spent my ENTIRE 30's fat is just stinkin depressing. I secretly hoped for a surprise get together or something but Mike says birthdays are like any other day and he feels no particular necessity to do anything like that. He was going to buy me something yesterday but we are so broke right now I told him not to. I just want the gift of being thin again. THAT'S ALL. I hate being out of shape. When you are fat it is hard to have energy! It just is not there. Every little thing is such a chore. Taking a shower is a hoot, when I get out and get dressed I swear the truth, I have no energy left to dry my hair ha ha. Is that not sad or what? I sit here typing with wet hair. Now that it is half dry I will go finish drying it but dang, I need a gym. I simply cannot let another year go by without working out. When Mike got laid off 2 years ago I was able to workout for 3 months and I lost 20 lbs doing Zumba at the YMCA. But then he was working again and over the next 7 months after that I gained the 20 lbs back. Yep, I have to go to a gym or my body could care less what I do or eat.

I have to buy my husband's car tag today. I'm like thanks honey. I'll take care of that for ya. Have a nice day. I think he is taking me out to dinner tonight. He mentioned something Saturday about it. I don't even want to go. Perhaps this is why men have a hard time understanding us? I am upset that nothing special EVER happens on my birthday so he says he will take me to dinner and I don't want to go. That is probably confusing for guys but I understand it pretty well. There is something just unspecial about going to dinner for me at least. If he invited friends to go that would be special. Whatever, I am weird. I think I just want to know somebody put some thought into making my day nice. Yeah, I think that is it. Well, hopefully I can find a gym with a daycare soon and get to feeling healthy and good about myself again.

Have a wonderful day and if I don't get back to the ole blog this week I hope each and every one of you have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Jesus has already given us the most precious, personal and perfect gift of all!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Rich People Eat The Grossest Food

I thought I would share something about myself today. Hope that's okay. Since I'm a funny kind of gal, let's make it something amusing shall we?

When I was younger I always knew that whatever I became when I grew up, I didn't want to be rich. Yep, that's right, I did not want to be rich. Not for the noble reasons you may think.....

Rich people eat the GROSSEST food.

Growing up in Miami, of course there is a lot of money lying around. My father belonged to a "fishing club" wink wink, mostly they fished but sometimes it was an excuse to go off and club it and chase the gals, but that's another story, lol. Well, most of those guys were very well off and every time we went to their homes to eat we always hit the Burger King before or after because ewwwwww gross, the food was unrecognizable. I mean what was that funky sauce or goo on top of my food? Why can't they just eat what middle class people eat?

Even in my treasured Harlequin romance books I loved to read as a teenager ( I snuck them) when they listed the meals the heroine was sharing with her rich bachelor it was something none of us would ever eat, right? Mostly I just read it and thought ewwwwwww, gross. I sure do hope I am never rich one day, I'll starve to death!!! We had some family that was not hurting for cash, same thing, if we ever went over for dinner we had to hit the Burger King to get some food or mom cooked before hand.

Why is it that rich people love freaky sauces and what is up with all the crazy dips and cheese balls? The last cheese ball I saw was coated with jelly and then rolled in almonds. I get a baby barf just remembering the hideous thing. Pine nuts, is there a status thing with the pine nuts? Rich people love pine nuts. In my best Chris Rock voice I want to say in these situations "Can't a girl just get some meatloaf?" Hee hee hee. Rich people love encrusted things. The only crust I have is on my bread, snort snort.

Raspberries, have you ever noticed rich people love raspberries? Oh yes they do. They will do whatever it takes to put a raspberry on something. Apparently putting a raspberry on something gives it an instant status boost. Don't get me wrong, at their peak season I like an occasional raspberry but I can guarantee you right now that on Peachtree Battle road here in downtown Atlanta there are raspberries in every mini mansion. I think they gossip about you if you don't keep them in the fridge at all times.

Fresh lemons are a given, if you are rich and you do not have fresh lemons on the table, on the food, in the glasses of tea and in a decorative urn immediate excommunication proceedings are held. Fresh lemons are basic 101 in rich people entertaining. I heart me some lemons though.

There MUST be a dip with "things" in it.

Mozzarella, provolone, cheddar and American cheeses are out. Things like goat cheese, blue cheese, and other assorted non American non middle class cheeses will be served.

Duck, lamb and veal instead of beef & chicken. Pot pie? Only if it has lobster in it.

Potato chips, Doritos? Nope, you will get Bagel Chips or Pita Chips at a rich person's house. Cheetos or Cheese Nips, no way baby, a cheddar cheese stick in a gourmet box from the supermarket deli is the delight of the rich person's snack palette.

I was at a rich person's house a few weeks ago to do lunch and was I ever so grateful for the rolls, turkey and roast beef because everything else on the table I either couldn't tell what it was or it was just the GROSSEST thing ever! It once again reaffirmed my childhood stance that I can simply never be rich or I would just starve to death. It might do me some good to be rich for a little bit, I need to lose a few pounds.

Well, I hope you enjoyed getting to know me a little ha ha. I know I know, I have some issues.


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Who Is Jesus?

Along my continual journey as a Christian I have had one question that has never been answered. Who is Jesus? I honestly have to say that I am confused here, no really.

I have tried to bring up this subject for discussion as I would really love to know scripturaly who Jesus is, specifically is Jesus the Son of God as an actual separate being or is Jesus God. The problem is that this subject puts people in a tizzy. I really want to know, honestly I do.

Some people say Jesus was God in the flesh. Okay, but enquiring minds want to know who was Jesus praying to if he was God? Who was Jesus talking to on the cross then if he was God? Why was Jesus asking God to take the cup from him of having to go through the torture that night in Gethsemane? How can Jesus be sitting on the right of God (like the Bible says) if he actually is God? (How can God sit next to himself?) Upon being asked when the world would end so to speak Jesus said only the Father knows, if he was God wouldn't he know? If Jesus was God himself.... And that is where I lose the Jesus was God in the flesh people. They can't answer those questions, at least those that I personally have spoken to.

Then there are the Jesus was God in the flesh but since God is Omnipresent and can be in all places at once since time does not exist in Heaven and God can slip in and out of time as He pleases, God became flesh but also existed in Heaven at the same time and his flesh self had no "heavenly" powers except what his God self allowed him to have while he was watching himself from heaven. Yes, a run on sentence if you have ever seen one. I have heard that only a few times. Is that a valid theory? I don't know...... that's why I am asking.

Then there is the Jesus is the Son of God, a literal separate person fully related to God but not God himself. You know, God's own actual Son. Sitting right next to God in Heaven. As in there are two throne chairs with two beings sitting on them. One being God and one being Jesus.

I always get confused by this. The Bible also says that man is the head of woman, Christ is the head of man and God is the head of Christ. All over the place it shows Christ as a separate being but as I like to call it, fully related, created by and a part of God but not God himself. Then when I hear preachers preach all the time they say Jesus was God in the flesh, he was fully God. Okay, help me here. How can that be? Does it say anyplace in scripture that God and Jesus are the exact same person? And if that is so....... how does that answer the first questions I pondered.

I have always considered God and Jesus to be separate beings. I always envisioned God taking a part of "who God is" and putting that into flesh so to speak in Mary's womb so that it was like Jesus had God's DNA shall we say but that he was separate spiritually from God as in a complete separate being.

Lately I have heard Jesus is God A LOT. Frankly, I am afraid to even bring it up anymore as people look at me like I am a monster when I bring it up. I can see it in their expressions "What? You don't know who JESUS IS?, What a FREAK!" Which brings me to another annoyance, can't a brother or sister just ask a question and be helped without someone judging them? Good grief.

So, I want to know if anyone truly knows who Jesus is. It really bothers me that I do not know or maybe I do know because what I think is right? Now I confuse myself. Some people pray to Jesus too. Are we supposed to pray to Jesus? I only pray to God. Is that wrong? Should we pray to both? Jesus never said we should pray to him after he went to be with the Father did he? I don't remember him saying that or is it just a given that since Jesus is our Savior that we should pray to him also? These things really bother me.

Now y'all, you know I always have to be honest here. I just hate it when people pretend they are at a place where they just know it all. I truly believe that if I studied the Bible every single day (as I mostly do) that when I am a hundred and five years old I would still be learning. Hence my screen name, Still Learning. I believe that I will always "still be learning" so this is why I am just frankly not scared of admitting that I do not know something this crucial for certain. I already spoke my position on who Jesus was.

I am looking for some help here, not wanting to argue anybodies position so if you comment something I will fully study it and look at it as help and not an opportunity to argue with you and please, nobody else argue either okay? I think a lot of people are confused about who Jesus is. Who do you think Jesus is? Who do you pray to? Can I ask why you think these things or have scriptures that I can study?

I would love closure on this subject. This is an excellent article on the subject but um, I am still VERY CONFUSED by it at the same time. Still don't know....... I highly recommend reading this article though.

Controversial as always,


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Best Teaching on Marriage I Have Ever Heard.

Okay okay, I know I have been writing about women & marriage a lot lately. I just wanted to add this in for anyone really interested in how a true biblical marriage should work. No, it is not just a matter of the wife submitting to the husband, oh there is so much more involved and most of it is work the man should be doing. Yes, that's right, the man. I found these two videos completely fascinating and oh baby, very convicting! When I was done watching these videos I had a whole new perspective and a desire to be a better wife and mother. I would say that even if your marriage is just fine and dandy these videos would be wonderful to watch and a wonderful reminder of how a wife and husband should be in the marriage. I've always said if the roles are properly fulfilled the man has it worse than the woman! Yes, he does. Lots of responsibility.

These videos are not short so please bookmark them as favorites if you do not have time or come back later to watch. They are fascinating and truly the best teaching on marriage I have ever heard. The pastor preaches a no holds barred sermon, he is honest about both roles and quite passionate about it. At the end of the men's video I will say he is quite overcome with emotion, mostly anger at men, and does get a little angry but you will LOVE the videos I promise.

There are two videos, the first one is for the men and the second video is for the women. Please watch and enjoy, I can't imagine how these won't just bless your socks off. I took 4 pages of notes, ha ha. Video for men Video for women

The absolute best teaching on marriage I have ever heard!

Have a great day,


Monday, December 7, 2009

God Had A Word For Me Today.

That's me and my birthday girl Amber. She turned 10 last Thursday. I love the expression on her face in this picture. Doesn't she look so happy?

And now for some serious stuff......

Let me start with this scripture.

Psalms 119:176 I have wondered away like a lost sheep; come and find me, for I have not forgotten your commands.

Oh boy.

The first scripture that punched me in the gut was the first. Psalm 119:1 Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the Law of the Lord. Immediately I went in my mind to this scripture which has stuck with me like super glue since I looked at it a couple of months ago. Genesis 17:1 When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said, "I am God Almighty; walk before me and be blameless."

Blameless defined- free of guilt; not subject to blame; "has lived a blameless life"; "of irreproachable character"; an impeachable reputation.

Which would bring us back to a post I did a few weeks ago on my prayer life. I knew I was not praying like I was in the past & God was dealing with me on that. I repented, surely I did & even wrote a post on it. Did I do better? Not much. Oh boy. I did better but I have not gotten back to the place I need to be in where I could honestly say I was seeking the Lord with my whole heart. Lately he has been getting 3/4 of my heart, I say with much regret.

So our Pastor on Sunday preached a sermon that I promise could have been written just for me and my family! Ouchies!!!! I knew before he was even done that I needed to go spend some time at the altar. I need to put Him first, He is all that matters. He is what I need to seek with my whole heart. My relationship with Him should be my first priority and He will keep everything else in line. We are having very touch times financially, oh yes we are and the enemy is using them to make me question lots of things. I have let the enemy win some battles lately in my mind. I guess we all do that sometimes, but it is no excuse for me really because I know better. Things like "What good does it do to serve God & believe the promises when all you are doing is struggling?" or "Things were looking so good and now they are so dire again, God must be angry at you or He isn't really involved in your life, you have to everything for yourself." UGH.... I hate fighting that stuff off but truly it's the ugly stuff that creeps into our minds. It is the enemy whispering things in our ears. I am so sick of him.

So I sure did repent again at the altar and cried my little eyes out. Pastor prayed over me too, he was a big encouragement. I studied this morning not knowing if God would have anything for me. I went to 1 Kings on my own but a FB scripture posted later after I had studied 1 Kings just screamed at me. It was Psalms 119: 49-50, thank you Suzanne!!! I knew immediately I had to look up the entire Psalm. So glad I did, I think God had some things for me today.

1 Kings, A plan was in effect to make Solomon king after David dies. Evil, pride and greed comes in and another brother makes himself King. In fact, the new king is already feasting and happy as a clam with himself. What about Solomon? Is all lost? His brother is already made himself king? What about what he was promised?

Psalm 119:50 My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life

Solomon does not lose his thrown, his mother and a priest go to David and David acts quickly to have Solomon anointed King and set about town on the Kings mule. The city is rejoicing so loudly for King Solomon that it disturbs the "other king" and all is lost for him. Solomon is king, just as it was promised to him. He did not lose heart, his mother did not lose heart. They went straight to the one who could make everything right. They did not give up and wander off......

God honors his Word. God honors his promises. We do not always do that. I cannot believe that I ever doubt whether His word is truly for me. What is the matter with me? As soon as I am alone this morning I am going to pray long and hard and give thanks for Him and his Word.

So here I see a story of God keeping His word & His promises to His servant. Even though all looks lost, God makes it all just as He said it would. It is all okay in the end. Then I go to Psalm 119 and see that reminder to be blameless. God said walk before me and be blameless.
Am I doing that?
Am I free of the guilt of not praying & seeking him with my whole heart and not a fraction heart? No.

And then I saw that last scripture..... I knew it was just for me today.

Psalm 119:176 I have wondered away like a lost sheep; come and find me, for I have not forgotten your commands.

Right in the heart that scripture went. I have not forgotten Lord, come and find me because I need you so very much right now. I will seek you at your throne and once again throw myself at the mercy seat this day.

"Walk with me and be blameless." is it really to much to ask from us?

Love ya,


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

We Can't Give Up

Recently I was having a conversation with the man about someone who has just given up on life. This person has had to endure cancer, a job loss resulting from the cancer, loss of health insurance resulting from the job loss, loss of home due to the job loss, had to file bankruptcy due to all of it, etc etc. They have had it pretty bad and basically have given up on life as most of us know it. My man calls him a gypsy now, it's his funny way of not getting aggravated at someone he loves so he calls him a gypsy. He travels around in a camper and works at the campsites for free rent and all the utilities there & also for a small pay check to buy food. A very meager means of survival at best and he & his wife travel from town to town now and go where the wind blows. Sometimes that sounds kinda nice to me. So I said well, I guess with all that has happened he has just given up.

My statement made the man a little mad and he said well we have had to endure basically the same exact stuff they did & we didn't just give up, why does he just get to give up? I knew the answer instantly "Because we have our faith." I said. Our faith does not allow us the luxury to give up. Nope, it sure does not. Our faith tells us not to flee not to fear, not to run. Our faith tells us to hold strong in the Lord, to cling to him in our storms of life. Faith in God does not come with the luxury of giving up on life because our faith always has hope. After all, what does the Bible say faith is?

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

By faith we stand. By faith we live. By faith we endure.

Sometimes life chokes us to the point where we just want to run to our beds, throw the covers over us and just cry our little eyes out. But our faith does not allow us to stay in the bed does it?

Faith aways births hope and in that hope we have a promise of things we cannot even fathom. Sometimes we just need to be still and live day by day, each day giving ourselves to him and all the baggage that comes with us. Sometimes it is too much to bear to even think about what tomorrow will bring. Jesus promises us rest if we will just take his yoke upon us and let him live in us. His yoke is His will, the work He has for us. So those of us who have this hope have no choice really than to just cast our cares upon the name of Jesus. To throw ourselves at the mercy seat and take the yoke of Jesus and let him live through us. What a beautiful promise we have in Him.

I have some sick kiddies so I am sorry if I do not get around to the blogs I normally do. I just dropped by yesterday and today for a quick post as it is my "therapy" ha ha. OH!! And my mommy is so sick to so would you please pray for her? She has pneumonia again & her heart is not strong enough to pump out the fluids. She is on oxygen and some meds but they may have to put a needle in her lung and draw it out. Due to her numerous medical issues this is a HUGE event for her as it has been done in the past. This is very dangerous to her health so I would really appreciate your prayers. I just came home from grocery shopping for them and she was looking better today but still very very sick and weak. Thank you so much for your prayers for her!!


Monday, November 30, 2009


I noticed some things this weekend that really bothered me concerning intolerance. It was two fold in it it's intolerance. First I noticed this past weekend a surge of intolerance towards Christians. Second I noticed an intolerance of the haves towards the have nots and in that respect I do not mean money singularly.

Intolerance was at it's peak last night and this morning on my home page on Facebook. Goodness, people can be so mean.

Last night on FB was Christian bashing at it's best. Probably provoked by a posting of a poll on Christianity and the Christian bashing ensued. I laughed so hard when one of my old schoolmates said we were the intolerant ones and on self serving power trips. We are thirsty for power and control over others that do not agree with us fellow Christians. I wanted to tell him, um, it's the opposite dude. If we Christians were so power hungry we would still have prayer in schools, the 10 commandments would not be taken down from courthouses, our TV's would not be filled with filth. My husband can easily see 5 ladies half naked or in their bra and panties a day, way more than he sees his own wife in that condition. Yeah, Christians are so power hungry. What is he even talking about? If we were so power hungry we would be fighting more for an improved moral condition and to be strong in our faith instead of cowering because the other side yells intolerance and narrow mindedness. Yes, we are narrow minded, we are on the narrow road my pastor always says with a laugh. Too funny. I noticed it on the TV too, must be the holidays that make some get angry at God and Christians.

In my neck of the woods and on FB I also noticed a spike of intolerance towards anyone who was not living in "Happyville" or "My Life is Perfect Town". It was pretty comical on FB because of the month of thanks posts people were supposed to do in saying what they were thankful for. What a riot, half the time they would post what they were thankful for and then bash those who should also be thankful for that but aren't or chastised those who were upset and not joyful at each moment for their life and such. It was like every time I logged on I was met with "I am so thankful for.............. it's just too bad some other people can't appreciate .......... in their lives too." for example. Of course all these posters had no financial problems and have happy relationships with their spouses and their kids were all fine and dandy at that moment. So, I guess because they are in living in "Happytown" the rest of the world should be too? Fact is, the holidays can be a very difficult time for families. Considering the unemployment rate is in double digits and with Christmas looming finances are a HUGE stressor for families right now. Money also creates stress in marriages, fear of job losses or not finding a job creates even more stress. I would think those who have at the moment would be more compassionate of those who don't. I have noticed a great deal of intolerance when people try to talk to someone about their troubles and they are met with "well you just need to give it to God and be thankful for what you have!" and I have been horrified each time I hear this or hear about it. A few times I have just ushered the person chastised out of the room and I let them pour out their misery and tried to be actually helpful to them.

I would hope that if we are happy and doing fine we would not be telling those who are not to stop being ungrateful and get over themselves. Sometimes life is rough, sometimes it makes us weary. Look at the old hymnals..... such as I'll Fly Away..... "someday when this weary life is o-ver, I'll fly a-way." Jesus spoke about how many troubles life had too, sometimes life is troubling and to be troubled is hard enough. To be troubled and not have anyone to share your burdens with is even harder, sharing them and being met with intolerance is unbearable. Believe me, I know all about that.

I like the parable I read this morning about the good Samaritan. The traveler was beat up and left half dead in the street. Two oh so holy followers of God passed the guy by, it was the Samaritan who helped the poor guy out. My fellow Christians, I ask you not to judge those crying out for help or voicing their frustrations & PLEASE do not ignore those people. They are laying half dead in the street right in front of you, do you pretend you do not see the mess in front of you and skirt around that person? Or do we get our hands messy and stop to save a life. To give a hope, to comfort as we have been comforted. To bless as we have been blessed. To love, as we have been loved.

I guess that's all I had to say about that.


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I just love a good Martha Stewart idea. We could do this with a quick trip to Michaels right?
It is always fun for me to find some new cute idea for the table every year.

I hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day with your family & friends. Try not to spend too much time in the kitchen!!

I am thankful for all of you who come and visit with me.

Gobble Gobble,


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Good Lord do I need to work out or WHAT? Shivers......

Anyhoo, last night was a wonderful blessing for me. Several things were going on all at once and it was really just overwhelming but in a good way. Once again I was reminded (why do I keep needing to be reminded of this? Why do I forget?) that the most wonderful basics of my faith never change. I change but the Word does not.

I need to keep my Lord in every single thing I do, say and think. Why do I not remember to involve Him consistently with the things that are in my life? Yes, I was reminded of the need to do that last night.

I need to pray more. I have slacked from praying like I used to, much to my shame. I read, study, & have little chats with God but my prayer life as a whole is not what it should be and I can feel the effects of that. Yes in deed I can. God has been nudging me on that one & I have repented. Why do I think I am too busy to pray? Lately my mind can't stay focused enough to pray like I used to. Once again I was reminded that I need to control my mind and not let my mind control me. Thank you Lord.

Lexie was in a car accident yesterday. A lady in the lane next to the car she was in with two other teenagers did not see them and she tried to move into their lane & hit them. Nobody was hurt but all were badly shaken. I am so grateful that our last words to each other as she left were "I love you." I was reminded that I have no guarantee that when one of us walks out our door to leave that we will also return. I am so grateful for my family. Why am I not praying more for safety for my children like I used to?

I was also reminded that if we want to feel good about ourselves we should do something nice for someone else. It works, truly it does. If we need to feel encouraged, encourage someone else. Last night I chatted with my husband & he needed some encouragement. He needed his Ezer to sustain him, to strengthen him. He needed me to help him carry on. (That is the kind of "help" we are to be!! Sustainers, a source of strength and the foundation of our homes, not servants and dishwashers. Oh, how I love this definition of woman.... Ezer Kenegdo. So glad I studied the Hebrew wording of how we got the words "help meet"!! Knowing my true purpose as a woman has meant the world to me.) But God has answered my prayers and continues to do so as I have asked the Lord to truly show me what it means to be an Ezer Kenegdo. I encouraged him with my words but still there was more to do. This morning I was up very early and as I put in my contact lenses I asked myself what I could do to lift his spirits and send him off encouraged. As I thought this I looked at my bathroom counter and it was a bit messy. Mike likes a clean bathroom and the counter clear of clutter. In 5 minutes everything was put away, the counters were spotless (I keep Lysol cleaning clothes under the counter.) and the floor was tidied. Yes, the very first place he would go this morning would be spotless and smell clean. I knew that would perk him up. I made coffee and purposefully spent my normal "computer time with my coffee" with him instead. I prayed hard for him and spent the morning feeding him some bread of life, God's word, and speaking positively about the future. He left happy people. Happy and hopeful. Yes, that is an Ezer at work. Thank you Lord!!! Yes, I can do that for my man. Guess what, I feel great now too! There is always hope in the Lord. There is always hope in service and helping others.

I was reminded that no matter what is happening, no matter how busy I am that I am NEVER too busy to call upon the Lord in all things. I need to keep my prayer time a priority. I need to keep thanking the Lord all day long. I need to be a strength and a sustainer and I can't do that if I am only focused on "me" and "my" issues or my busy little self. I need to take time for me of course, but not just me. I need to focus on each individual person in my home too and take the time to pray for each one of them, to talk to each one of them and encourage them each day. I need to not deplete myself or I cannot be a strength or a sustainer for them. Yes, I need to take better care of myself also. There is a truth in the following saying which is why it is so funny also: "If momma ain't happy, nobodies happy." Momma needs to keep herself maintained, groomed, fit, well fed on the word and prayed up! Hallelujah! I feel good Lord. You are so wonderful to me even though all my good deeds are as filthy rags, you love me, you love all of us so much!

I stood in the gap for my husband this morning and prayed hard for him. I cast his cares & anxieties on Jesus for him. Would you mind praying for him also? I would really love it if you would. I hope all of you have a wonderful day today!


Monday, November 23, 2009

What I Have Learned About Women & Marriage

Well, after a pretty exhaustive study on woman & marriage I have come to a few conclusions.

1. There is no concensus among all Christians as to the state of equality or inferiority of woman.

2. I can see where God created us equal as people deserving the same respect, love, rights, ability to care and be cared for as men and women. We were both created in God's image & both given the command to rule & subdue the earth & procreate.

3. The above facts do not mean that man still does not have the responsibility of leadership. God did create Adam first and give him the responsibility to name the animals & such, he also was instructed to care for the garden. He was also the first person God goes to after Adam & Eve sinned. He was held responsible for listening to his wife & not holding to what God told him. This may indicate that he was the responsible leader & not his wife or it may not. However, Satan always wanting to disrupt what God intends went to the woman to entice first, not the man. He was most likely trying to disrupt the leadership order between man and woman and also with humans and God.

4. We are more defined by who we are in Christ than by whether we are a man or a woman. Men and women have equal claim to all the scriptures that say who we are in Christ. Those scriptures are listed in statement form on my sidebar. My children and I read them aloud to settle that identity deep within us.

5. Genesis 3:16 is incredibly hard to define in the Hebrew & there is much arguing and debate of the exact meaning over a woman desiring her husband & what it means to rule over her. Genesis 4:7 & once more in Song of Solomon are the only 3 places that the hebrew word of desire is used here. In Song of Solomon it is used as sexual desire but a longing for nonetheless. Gen 4:7 it is a desire to conquer. Hence the argument over whether Eve's desire is a sexual longing or a desire to overcome and dominate her husband. He will rule over her is the same hebrew wording for Gen 4:7 where Cain is told to rule over his desire to sin. Translating the Hebrew of 3:16 is very hard to do in English so the translators did it word for word.

6. God wants us to be happy people. This indicates that he does not want us to cause harm & unhappiness on anyone. We should be mutaully lifting up, loving, respecting and caring for our spouses. We should not even bother with being concerned about who is superior or inferior if that is even the case at all. We should consistently do unto others as we would have them do unto us.

7. Ezer Kenegdo does not mean help mate/help meet/ helper comparible. Women are created to be Ezer kenegdos. Ezer means a strength, a power or to save. Kenegdo means equal to, alongside, counterpart. Counterpart is my favorite defintion of kenegdo. Counterpart means:1 : one of two corresponding copies of a legal instrument : duplicate
2 a : a thing that fits another perfectly b : something that completes : complement
3 a : one remarkably similar to another b : one having the same function or characteristics as another

8. I believe God will use any willing vessel regardless of sex.

9. I believe we are supposed to enjoy each other.

10. Women were not created to do it all. We laughed at the last study in my ladies group about the following. In respect to the term help meet, how are you helping the man if you are doing everything? If a woman works full time like her husband then it would be completely ridiculuous for her to also do all the housework, child care, school responsibilities, shopping, etc. In this case, doesn't she need a help meet?
If she is doing it all, she isn't helping anybody. Help refers to a mutual work happening.

11. Men and women are confused as a whole to the responsibilities each bear in the home and marriage. Especially if the woman works full time.

12. We would all be happier if we would just be nice to our spouses and everyone around us. We should try to do nice things for our family members in our home. We should be just as concerned about their well being as ours. We should rely on the strengths of the man and the woman as individuals in the marriage.

13. Being a woman does not infer being responsible to do all the cleaning,cooking & laundry. Even the proverbs woman had servant girls. Woman was not created to do everything domestic. That is a societal influence.

14. The happiest times in my marriage are when my husband has taken on the leadership role in a loving way & his solid leading & loving attitude for me and the children made me want to do all the things that I know made him happy & eased the strains of life for him. He gave me the love & security I desired & I in turn was happy to do what I could to make his life better. Our mutal affection & respect spilled over into how we spoke to/cared for our kids and we were all a happy family. When this relationship has gotten out of order, it all gets out of order. When he treats my stay at home status as my wife is my maid, I do not want to please him at all. When he lovingly appreciates what I do and trys to give me "breaks from the kids" & does an occassional chore I would normally do it shows me he wants me to be happy and that he respects what I do and that he is not above it. When he feels like I am being bossy he rebels against it also. Mutual respect, mutual give and take and trying actively to show that love and respect is key.

15. I don't have a problem with men claiming a leadership role. I have a problem with men who abuse it. I have a problem with women who think they have to do everything and that their husbands do not have to do anything for them. I am a very smart lady and I am fully capable of doing anything I put my mind to. What matters is how I treat people and how I allow them to treat me. This is what effects my happiness, not how equal to I am to anybody.

16. I have also learned how important it is to study the Hebrew wording when we study the Bible! I cannot emphasize that enough.

I would love to ask the question if anybody else has enjoyed these posts on women but oddly enough.... the visits to the ole blog have been way down. I am wondering if I have just become boring or if I have offended people? Well, I do not offend easily so if I have been a doo doo head you can feel free to comment anonomously and let me know.

Love y'all,


Something I never noticed before.....

I was just studying Genesis 3:16 & realized something I have never noticed before. When God is punishing the serpent, Adam & Eve all three punishments involve seed.

The serpent will be crushed by the seed of the woman.

When the woman is bringing forth seed, it will be in great pain.

The man will no longer be able to bring forth the seed he plants easily.


Saturday, November 21, 2009

A Great Post On Marriage Written By A Man

I just saw this & I had to share since I have been writing on women and marriage all week. This is just the most perfect way to wrap it up. How a man changed his marrige for the better. I LOVED IT!!! Hope you do too.

Why You Need a Double Standard

Expecting more of yourself and less of your mate can do wonders for your marriage

by Gary Thomas


"You brought them home hungry?" Lisa asked.

I stared at my wife, dumbfounded.

"It's 7:45, and you brought them home hungry?" she asked again.

I tried to come up with a good excuse. "Well, I, uh, you see . …" I gave up. "Yeah, I guess I did."

I thought I had done Lisa a favor. I took the kids for the evening so she could have a night off. I wanted her to eat dinner while reading a magazine and rediscover that, in some corners of the world, there still remains a phenomenon called "silence."

Now I was back home, and all the self-righteous defenses came rushing to my mind. "Here I try to give you an evening off, and you get upset just because the kids want a little snack! You know our kids—they need to eat every seven minutes!"

Instead of voicing that, however, I took a walk and did some praying. "Okay, God, what are we going to talk about tonight?"

A clear thought came into my mind: How can you love your wife better? God was pushing me to come up with ways I could make Lisa's life easier. And it wasn't anything as simple as buying another piece of lingerie ("Gary, this is for her, not for you"). Instead, they were eminently practical changes: I could make the kids' lunches. I could take them out one evening a week and bring them home with full stomachs. I could get them ready for bed at least three nights a week.

I felt the Lord teaching me that the happiest husband is the one who lives with a double standard—he's tough on himself and easy on his wife.

Meeting the Standard
I spent the first few days of our marriage adding up the pluses and minuses of our various personality traits. The problem was, I spent too much time on my pluses and Lisa's minuses. Then I read a passage written by John Owen, one of the great Puritan scholars: "The person who understands the evil in his own heart is the only person who is useful, fruitful and solid in his beliefs and obedience. Others only delude themselves and thus upset families, churches and all other relationships. In their self-pride and judgment of others, they show great inconsistency."

I realized I was deluded by my sense of self-righteousness. Rather than focusing on what Lisa could improve, I should have been on my knees, begging God to change me. This thought was magnified one morning when I was praying through Scripture. All of a sudden, a question startled me: "Does Lisa see Jesus in me?"

Scripture reminds us, again and again, that our goal as Christians is to become more like Christ. In Ephesians 5:1 we read, "Be imitators of God." Elsewhere, Paul wrote, "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son" (Rom. 8:29). As I grow in relationship to Christ, my wife should be able to notice at least some family resemblance. God was showing me that I had fallen short of improving myself for my wife's sake.

"But wait!" the selfish me wanted to cry out. "What about her? " But then I remembered a passage written by William Law, an eighteenth-century Anglican: "No one is of the Spirit of Christ but he that has the utmost compassion for sinners. Nor is there any greater sign of your own perfection than you find yourself all love and compassion toward them that are very weak and defective. And on the other hand, you have never less reason to be pleased with yourself than when you find yourself most angry and offended at the behavior of others."

That was the holy double standard I needed. As I become more unyielding and aggressive in attacking my own sins and weaknesses, I must extend more and more grace and gentleness toward others in theirs.

Back at the Home Office
When I became self-employed and decided to work out of our home, the double standard turned into more than just a good idea. We live, with our three children, in a townhouse—which meant our bedroom would have to double as my office. When people find out what we're doing, they're amazed. "And you still like each other?" they ask.

In fact, working at home has done wonders for our marriage. For the first time, I could see what it was like to spend an entire day being Lisa. Oh, I used to watch her in action every weekend. But what makes her life difficult isn't an occasional 48-hour stretch. It's the day-in and day-out responsibility of raising three kids. It's the pressure of getting the homeschooling lessons done, while lunches need to be made and clothes need to be washed and kids need to be chauffeured to ballet and soccer practice.

At the same time, Lisa saw what it was like for me to sit for hours in front of a computer, writing articles and speeches, and keeping up with all the paperwork involved in my business. Some days I was tired or sick. Sometimes the weather outside was beautiful, but always I stayed in my chair. She saw my determination and the pressure of meeting deadlines and taking on assignments I wasn't sure I could handle, but I was really sure we needed the paycheck.

Lisa and I began to develop an empathy for each other, and it improved our exercise of the double standard. As I understand the challenges Lisa faces, I'm more likely to "go easy" on her. I'm learning to make excuses for my wife the way I so easily make them for myself: "Look, I just finished a really intense assignment; I need to veg out." Now I prod myself: "She's had a tough day, Gary. Get the kids out of the house and give her some time to herself."

Looking Out for Number Two
Here's what I found out: Applying a double standard often leads to receiving a double standard. As I have become more generous toward Lisa, I've noticed that she has become more generous toward me. I recently returned from a trip feeling as if I'd walked every one of the 400 miles I had just driven. I had spoken six times in four days and driven through four states. I pulled into our driveway thinking, "I'm so tired. All I want to do is watch a late football game."

But as I came through the door, I knew Lisa was thinking, "Good, he's home. I've had the kids to myself all weekend and they're driving me crazy." This is the stuff colossal marriage fights are made of.

But then I discovered Lisa and I had both changed. I pulled out the flavored popcorn I'd brought home for the kids, and we talked at the kitchen table as they ate. I noticed Lisa was being incredibly sensitive toward me.

"You've got to be exhausted," she said. "Let me take care of the kids tonight."

But hearing her say that made me want to care for the kids. She was being hard on herself and easy on me, which made me want to be hard on myself and easy on her. That's when I realized: "This double standard business really does build stronger marriages."

If each of us assumes our spouse has it the hardest and that we miss the mark most frequently—and act accordingly—we'll find a mix that's just about right. When we adopt this double standard, we find that encouragement replaces accusation, appreciation replaces resentfulness and understanding replaces judgment. And isn't that the type of marriage we're all looking for?

Gary Thomas is a writer and speaker. He and Lisa and their three children live in Manassas, Virginia.


Copyright © 1997 by Christianity Today International/Marriage Partnership Magazine.
Spring 1997, Vol. 14, No. 1, Page 8

Friday, November 20, 2009

Ezer Kenegdo Discussion Part 3

Yesterday's post helped bring some things together for me as I was writing. I am always one to get into deep thought & study on things & this topic has been fun for me. I was wanting to talk about God's image today. That when God created man & woman he also created us to reflect His image in different ways. Many people think that for man & woman to be equals they have to be the same. Not true. We are equal but we are made to complimemt each other. We are corresponding pieces to each other. We are meant to work together as men & women both have different strengths that together work beautifully as one.

Yesterday I briefly brought up romance & how women just love romance. God is the ultimate romantic! That is a part of who God is that women reflect.

Women are all about the journey, men are all about the end goal. We love to dream as little girls about who we will marry, what will our life be like, when will I find Mr. Right & all the glorious things a little girl can dream of her life being like with her husband. God is all about the journey too. Can't you just see Him looking down on us and desiring the day when we will find Him. He longs for all the things that we will do with Him, He longs to live in us & send us His Holy Spirit. Yes, God loves the journey also. Another part of God's heart we reflect. Men like to make fun of us for our romanticism but you know ladies, that is part of God & His image that He gave to us. I asked my husband a few years back if he could be more romantic & he looked at me very confused and said "But I already did that?" So I was thinking "You aren't supposed to stop dear." Hence the truth in women love the journey and men the end goal. He romanced me & he got me. He was done.

Men need women and women need men. We are not meant to be alone. The gift of marriage is a precious one & yet half or more of marriages end in divorce. I wonder how many times I have heard people say that marriage should only last legally 5 years and then it has to be renewed or it expires. I believe there have been bills crafted in our Congress to this effect but they always get shot down & not put to a vote. The point is that the sanctity of marriage is no longer sanctified to many of us. We as a society do not treat it as the precious gift that it is.

Ultimately if we are to have happy marriages we need to love & respect each other, we need to be concerned with our spouses happiness & seek to please them. This is a two way street. Women and men have different love languages & if I am to show my love for my husband then I need to do something that he will appreciate and enjoy. I need to not just say I love you to him, men want respect more than love according to just about everyone & the bible even says women respect your husbands and husbands love your wives. So when I say "Honey, I am so proud of you." to him I just said "I love you." When I say "Honey, the yard looks great!" after he mows to him I just said "I love you." For me, he needs to say "I love you." not a thumbs up on the yummy pot roast. He needs to make an effort to spend time alone with me or compliment me on the things I do & I need to do that for him. I need to be just as concerned about his happiness as mine if not more and he needs to be just as concerned about my happiness as his if not more. What ever we do we should do as unto the Lord. Yes, even in our marriages.

Here is another journey/end goal example. Men (mostly) want sex. Women (mostly) are too tired & don't. Especially women who work & have lazy husbands who do not fulfill what they should around the house. Being about the journey..... we want them to have done someting nice for us or said some nice things to us throughout the day to you know, um, maybe put our minds in the mood? Sex for women begins in the mind. But, if they want to achieve their end goal they need to get off the lazy boy, ha ha and do some work around the house & start complimenting their wives. I'll never forget the man who every single Friday stopped by the floral dept. at p@blix where I was a produce manager. He always came and got me because I would wrap his flowers special & make pretty bows for him. He bought his wife soemthing different every Friday but he always came home with some type of flower bouquet. He did not want them in the plastic wrapper they come in, he wanted to make it special for his wife. First it was a beautiful gesture to stop on his way home & buy her flowers. But don't think for a second that this woman did not realize that he had to go a step further by asking someone to wrap flowers special for him & make a special bow. He was truly showing her his love for her by making it speical & personalized. She had a great love of fresh flowers & he brought them to her to make her happy. He did joke to me once that it was not only worth the time & expense to make her happy because in return she made him a very happy man & he said this with a BIG GRIN! Meaning, well you know. He was well supplied shall we say by his wife who in return loved him back the way he wanted. Hee hee hee.

Some people are lucky enough to have marriages that do function this way. I have heard from two of you that have said so and I would love to tell you how happy I am for you!! What a treasure! Unfortunately this is not the case for the majority. Also, I just can't emphasize enough that marriage is not about the woman "doing for her man" as this study as taken me. It is about a joint love effort. God did not make us to be servants or to be told to know our place as I have heard countless times from ladies. I know a woman whose husband makes terrible financial decisions & keeps their home in poverty because of his wild spending. She says because he is the head of their home that she cannot say anything. Sigh. Good grief. Girl, yes you can! We are Ezer Kenegdo's not doormats, not servants & this whole women are less than stuff makes me crazy.

It truly does! For instance yesterday I worked hard around the house. I dove into the kids playroom where surely something could have eaten me. Dangerous territory!! I cleaned & shined stuff. I lit candles to make the home smell nice like I do every day. I laundred & put clothes away. Took care of a dog I don't like.... & then shuttled 2 kids to karate to return at a what was almost "dinner time". I left every single ingredient out for dinner except the chicken out on the counter. Hint hint. Well I returned home & nothing had been cooked even though a capable husband who did not work yesterday & a 17 year old were home watching TV. I told them all I was not cooking their dinner & they could eat frozen pizzas. Hmph. I deserved better & I let them know it. Nothing wrong with that.

It's funny because I taught on this defintion of woman & chatted about it with other ladies I know & several women have told me that they had been "secretly having these thoughts" and they felt so happy to know other women thought these things too. I was so happy to have opened this discussion but so saddened too at the state some women live in. Why also do we as Christians (some of us) create and environment where we cannot talk to our Christian friends about theology we have a hard time with, such as the whole help meet thing. They never said anything & just lived like they thought they were supposed to and you know what? They don't like it one bit. They serve and serve and do and do and I asked does your husband do anything special for you also? Sadly the answer was no. Um, I had to control my tongue. But we discussed ways to change that. We are special, men are special and we need to treat each other as such.

Well, my Braxton turns 3 today so I am off to play with my birthday boy!!! I hope you all have a wonderful day as I know I will. I can't believe my baby is growing up!! Alas, before he leaves home my now 17 year old will probably be supplying me with grandchildren to play with. :)


Thursday, November 19, 2009

Woman, Man's Ezer. What Does That Mean?

I shared in yesterday's post that in Genesis 2:18 God says in the original Hebrew text that He says He will create an Ezer Kenegdo for Adam. Help meet was translated from these words. We discussed the definitions of the two words. To do a short recap Ezer means to save, to be strong & powerful. Kenegdo means equal to, alsongside, counterpart to make it short. Please read yesterdays post for more intensive definition discussion. I also shared that the word Ezer is in the Old Testament 21 times. One time it is God referencing the creation of woman & the other 20 times it is reference to God himself being an Ezer to mankind. Eight of the twenty times God is the lifesaver to man who is calling upon God in a life & death circumstance & God is their only lifesaving hope. The other twelve times God is mankind's strength & sustainer. I wanted to share some of the verses I was able to gather on God being man's Ezer. So here is what I have gathered. I hope you will join me this week studying who woman is & what we were created to be.

Deut 33:26
“There is none like God, O Jeshurun,
the Rider of the Sky in your strength (be ‘ezreka)
in the heavens in your majesty (ga’avah

a few verses down from this scripture is this

“Happy are you, Israel Who is like you,
A people delivered by the Lord,
the shield of your strength (‘ezreka)
and the sword of your majesty (ga’avah).

Psalms 68:34 Ascribe ye strength unto God: his excellency is over Israel, and his strength is in the clouds. (strength is ezer in the Hebrew text used to translate)

Psalms 93:1 Psalm 93
The LORD reigneth, he is clothed with majesty; the LORD is clothed with strength, wherewith he hath girded himself: the world also is established, that it cannot be moved.

'I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.' (Ps. 121:1-2, emphasis added)

'May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help.' (Ps. 20:1-2, emphasis added)

'We wait in hope for the LORD, he is our help and our shield.' (Ps. 33:20, emphasis added)

'O house of Israel, trust in the LORD-he is their help and shield. (He is their Ezer)
O house of Aaron, trust in the LORD-he is their help and shield.
You who fear him, trust in the LORD-he is their help and shield.'
(Ps. 115:9-11, emphasis added)

Can you see by reading these how God when He is being our Ezer is helping us? Thus the translation of "Help" from the help meet translation. Meet comes from mate, they mean the same thing. Help meet, help mate same thing. However Kenegdo does not mean mate. I can however see how someone could come up with the term mate since Eve was Adam's wife. They just forgot about the whole equal to, counterpart thing. If something your counter part it is:

Main Entry: coun·ter·part
Pronunciation: \-ˌpärt\
Function: noun
Date: 15th century
1 : one of two corresponding copies of a legal instrument : duplicate
2 a : a thing that fits another perfectly b : something that completes : complement
3 a : one remarkably similar to another b : one having the same function or characteristics as another

Somehow mate/meet was translated because Eve was a wife/a mate but all the true definitions of a Kenegdo were ignored. The fact that she was Adam's wife was obvious, of course she was his mate but why in translation did that have to be all she was? Why couldn't she be a mate that was equal to, a corresponding copy, that fit Adam (man) perfectly, completing creation that had the same function & characteristics as her husband? Hmmmm???

Perhaps the translation was more influenced by at that time modern societal influences than the true definition? I am thinking aloud here. Clearly mate/meet is not what Kenegdo means and yet God says he is creating an Ezer Kenegdo for Adam because it is not good that he is alone.

The fact that women are defined as help meets has kept them from "doing" many things in this world because we are thought of less than. Imagine for a moment that men were defined as woman's help meet. Just chew on that for a sec. What would we think about men if they were our help meet? Would we secretly think that we were better than them? After all, they are to "help" us? Again, just thinking out loud. God is our helper, our Ezer, & in that capacity as Ezer relates to woman being an Ezer He is our strength & our sustainer. I like how a strength & a sustainer ties in to Psalms 144:12 that our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as cornerstones, polished after the similitude of a palace:

a cornerstone, the basis, the foundation of her home. She is the strength of her home, carved to adorn her palace.

So what does all this mean for women? Honestly, I am trying to still just study and put it all together. I do know that I feel confirmed inside about what I have always felt inside. That we are truly capable beings equal to man but different. God created man and woman in his image. Men reflect God in different ways than women do.

For instance, women love romance. Speaking in general of course, women love to be told "I love you" daily/often. We say it often to those we love & we like to hear it back. We feel incredibly loved when our partner takes time out just to spend with us. A date perhaps? Just time alone with our man, we love that. Doesn't God want those same things with us? Doesn't God want us to come to Him daily & tell him I love you, thank you for all you do for me. Doesn't God want us to set aside some special time alone with just Him? Yes, God is the ultimate romantic! That is just part of His image reflected in us. I could go on, but maybe we shall save this image discussion for tomorrow shall we? Men and women reflect God in different ways but together, we are the most wonderful reflection of God and we are meant to come together as one, functioning as one and caring for each other as it was our own body.

Truly I would love to hear if any of the posts on women are blessing you like they are me?


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Ezer Kenegdo, What Woman Was Intended To Be

In preparing for our ladies Bible study last week I did some extensive reading & studying on the topic of woman. Specifically I zoned in on what God's intent was when he created woman. I gotta be me so I have to be honest here. I have NEVER accepted the term help meet or helper suitable or any other of the translations. WHY Jennifer you may ask? Don't you believe the Bible? First, yes absolutely I believe. Here is why though..... bear with me 'cause this is gonna blow your socks off if you read all the way through.

In Genesis 2:18 we see the first mention of woman where in our English translated Bibles we see God saying I will make a help meet for him. Speaking of Adam being alone in the garden. So as much as we ladies try to make ourselves feel better about the term help meet it so implies inequality, it feels less than man. However, in the Life App. Bible study guide and any other study I have seen we are taught that Adam & Eve were equal at creation & they were to co-rule the earth together. All that got messed up at original sin in the garden but.... how can we be taught that they were equal co-rulers at creation & at the same time call Eve Adam's help meet? Can somebody tell me what a help meet is anyway? Again, being honest here I think that term is degrading & it has been used to keep women in a place of servitude throughout the ages. For years I have been taught that it was our job to "help the men out". WHAT? We are so much more than helpers.... serving is highly exalted in God's kingdom, Jesus came to serve but somehow I just always felt this was so not all there was to woman.

Clearly in Genesis 1:28 when God blesses Adam & Eve he gives them both the same command to rule & subdue the earth and also procreate. He did not say Adam do these things and Eve you help him. So, I do believe the teachings that say they were equal at creation. Still though to this day we say we are help meets & that just doesn't spin as equal to me. Also, if Eve's job was to help Adam why was she not present in the verses before where we see Adam all alone working hard to name everything God had created. Name EVERYTHING? Surely Adam was working long hard hours, he probably got quite hungry and such while he was busy coming up with names for the animals & such. Why would God not have given Adam his helper when he was doing all this work? After all, Eve could have picked some veggies & made Adam a nice salad while he was working so hard & brought him a little drinky. She could have been busy organizing the animals & such. You know, helping Adam out?

I decided to look up the Hebrew words from the Torah that were the original words that we translated to get the English words help meet. I just knew there was more to woman than a help meet. The Hebrew words that are in the Torah where God says I will make a __________ __________ for him are the words Ezer Kenegdo. So then I looked up the definitions of Ezer & Kenegdo.

God says he is going to make an Ezer for man. Did you know that the word Ezer is only in the Old Testament in Hebrew 21 times? Only 1 time does the word Ezer refer to woman. The other 20 times it is refering to God himself! Did you get that? God is OUR Ezer. That just rocked my female world may I say. Before we go further, God says he is going to make an Ezer for man. At the same time 20 other places God is our Ezer.

Ezer is made up of two root words which mean to be strong or to save, it also means powerful. Eight of the 20 times that Ezer is used it is in reference to God saving man. It is used in a time of desperation where man needs God to come to his rescue or he will die. God is their only hope, he is their Ezer. The other twelve times it is used in reference to God being their strength. Tomorrow I will give you some of these verses in detail. For today a couple examples okay? You know the verse, Casting Crowns even has a song about it..... "I lift mine eyes up to the hills, where does my help (Ezer) come from, my help (Ezer) comes from the Lord." or this one..... you are my shield and my strength (ezer).

In all twenty cases of God being the Ezer he is helping man in some capacity. He is either literally saving their lives or He is their strength and sustainer. This may be why we have the term "help" coming from the word Ezer because when God is the Ezer, he is helping man. But um, he is not doing man's laundry or cooking him dinner. Somehow the meaning behind being an Ezer has gotten lost to us. God is not beneath us & yet He is our Ezer. God is all powerful. the Father of all, the Creator of every single thing and yet...... He is our Ezer. God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make an Ezer kenegdo for him.

Let's get to Kenegdo shall we? Kenegdo is easy, it simply means to be equal, counterpart, alongside.

I do not believe woman is here to save man as part of Ezer means to save. When Ezer is used to mean save it is used in the context as God is our Savior, our only means of hope. It makes more sense to use the to be strong, powerful as the definiton.

So how would that translate? It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a powerful strength equal to him. OR It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a strength equal to him. Okay, I am no scholar here.

The point is, that YES!!! I just knew there was more to us than the traditional help meet. It is an honor in my opinion to be called an Ezer! After all, God is an Ezer to all of mankind. What do we think about God being our Ezer? I honestly am still trying to settle in my mind what that means exactly for us ladies. God is our Ezer, our strength, our hope, our power. We are meant to be man's Ezer but yet equal to, alongside also. Hmmm, a lot to grasp & get ahold of. This is a definition that really in my humble opinion should be OUT THERE more. Do you know this is a fact, widely known in many circles around the world? We are Ezer Kenegdo's. I will share more on this throughout the week, I hope you will come back & discuss this wonderful definition of the Hebrew wording.

Might I say that I was more than a little nervous to bring this study to our ladies last Thursday but they LOVED IT! Many people are resistant to something they have never heard before so I admit, I was nervous. But the Torah is a fact & the words Ezer Kenegdo are a fact, we can't escape that. Help meet was translated from Ezer Kenegdo, not the other way around so I feel quite fine and secure with studying this. My pastor's wife was so excited she told me. She came home from our study and proudly told our pastor "I am your ezer kenegdo!" Ha ha, I just love them all. What a group of fun ladies. I would love to know what you think about this, I tell ya, it just floored me. I want to talk about this through the week but here are a couple of really good links if you want to read more about what an Ezer Kenegdo is.

Loved this blog post from Stoned-Campbell Disciple.

This is a blog post from a book review about a book called Captivating where the book discusses God's words of calling woman an Ezer Kenegdo. Articulate Me: Ezer

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!!



Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I saw this the other day at a blog I stumbled across. Have you visited The Decorated House yet? What a great inspiration blog! If you click on the link it will take you to the post tutorial of how to do something wonderful with your fabric, pillows & dining room chairs like she did. Can you believe that is an iron on transfer? Nice & easy, just like I like 'em.

I have some more to post about the study I am doing on "Woman" but to tell ya the truth, I am just overwhelmed right now putting it all down on paper to teach this Thursday. I have had a terrible headache & such. Hopefully tomorrow I can post.

There are a lot of things stirring over at the house right now. Lots to do......


Thursday, November 5, 2009

What does The Bible Say About Women?


I was looking up all the scriptures on women yesterday listed in the back of the Bible. Part of our next ladies bible study this next Thursday. I noticed something I had never ever noticed before.

I posted the other day my other revelation that Eve had eaten the fruit to gain more knowledge & to gain the ability to be like God (wanting his supreme authority & ability to do anything). Instead when God punishes Eve he changes the original plan. The original plan was that they would be immortal, she would be the mother of mankind, & she and Adam were equal in Creation and co ruled the earth. The punishment? Now we are no longer immortal, women would birth in great pain & we were no longer equal in creation, we were going to be "ruled over". Basically Eve got the exact opposite of what she was seeking when she sinned.

From that point on women's rights were not very pretty.


As I was studying I was taken to the book of Luke. In Luke we see Jesus & his disciples traveling with a group of women. What were these women doing? They were financially supporting Jesus & his disciples, that is what they were doing. Since they were travelling with him they obviously would have been learning from him also.

In my study portion of the Bible it says that in Jewish culture women were not allowed to learn directly from rabbi's. Their husbands would give them instruction. By Jesus allowing a group of women to travel with him and also learn from him & to have those women in a place of supporting him and the disciples (not the more traditional role of men supporting women) Jesus was making a huge statement by his actions. He was saying that men and women were equal in creation & should be equal in the kingdom of God. Men and women could both participate equally in the things of God, neither sex meant more to God. God cared about the person, not the sex of the person. WOW.

It occurred to me that Jesus came to restore relationship with God. He came to "fix" what happened at original sin. One of the things that needed fixing was what happened with women at original sin. I asked myself, did Jesus come to heal that too? When you look at God's original intent for woman & then after the punishment what woman had was no place close to what God had intended. We see Jesus over and over breaking Jewish traditions & man made customs to show mercy & love, to give restoration. Although I have never ever heard any teaching on this, as I am studying all the scriptures on women I am wondering..... was Jesus also here to show God's forgiveness on the impact of Eve's sin? Was Jesus trying to restore woman's place in the world?

It is obvious that women can be used by God. Look at Esther & the Judge Deborah for instance. Women were prophetesses also throughout the old testament & such. But still, our place was a low one as far as rights & being educated.

As I study more I am more convinced than ever that God cares for the person, regardless of our sex. I am convinced that God will use whoever is available to be used regardless of their sex.

I just thought that was amazing yesterday, the part in Luke about the women supporting Jesus's ministry and the glaring statement that must have been making in Jewish society. Did He come also to say that He loves women just as much as men & wanted healing in this great rift between the wall being put up barring women from serving in the church like they could do otherwise? Makes ya wonder.......

Women struggle so much. What is our role? Men have such clearly defined roles, that must be so wonderful! Our struggle goes all the way back to original sin. Why Eve didn't you just go have a heart to heart with God before you took the devil at his word? If we work full time then what is our role & our hubby's role at home? Why do women who work full time still do the majority of all housework, grocery shopping, meal planning, doctor's visits, play date making & taking, & all things kid? What is that all about?

I tell ya, men would get a lot more sex if they just realized all they need to do is work more around the house. One, she is not so tired & might actually have some energy left to extend around bed time & two, she will be so moved & feel loved & appreciate her man that she will WANT TO PLEASE HIM. Duh.

If a woman is a stay at home wife, what is her role? Should the hubby do any housework? Does that answer depend on how many or how young any kids they have are? Is everything her responsibility? Some of the housewives I know have hubby's that expect that they work hard the entire day they are at work & give them a hard time if they do anything pleasureful during the "work day". Humph, don't get me started on that topic.

What is okay for women to do in the church? I personally love having at least one women's pastor around to talk to about my woman stuff. It is such a pleasure to speak sometimes to someone who is just like me but also completely thoroughly schooled in pastoring as a man. The woman pastor's I have been around are just a treasure.

The other thing that jumped out at me yesterday? When God said to Eve that your desire will be for your husband but he will rule over you, it is clear that women are no longer equal with man in leadership on the earth due to her sin. However, however however, let us look at God's example of what rulership should be shall we?

God is our ultimate ruler. We are all under the ruling authority of God. I believe God sets the best example of how one should rule. With love, with care & compassion. How does God rule over us? I believe God is the example for leadership on how men should lead their homes & in everything that they do.

God told Adam & Eve to rule over the earth. He also expected them to take care of it as he told Adam to work in the garden of Eden. We should care for what we are ruling over, it is in our care, it is in our responsibility. That is actually a pretty big responsibility for men, imagine God asking a man or judging a man at judgement time and making him accountable for how he "ruled/lead" his family. I can't imagine how God does not make man accountable for how he handled his rulership that he was entrusted with. What would God say about your leadership as a man? Ahem, if I was a man, that would get me right in the heart. Big responsibility I should say.

Women hate that word rule because it almost always has negative connotations with it. I personally have experienced & continue to hear horror stories from women on how their men abuse their rulership/leadership in the home. Men are told to love their wives as their own bodies, meaning treat your wife as you would want to be treated. Then we all, men and women, have the golden rule to live by. Treat others the way you would want to be treated. There is no room for selfishness & meanness in God's kingdom.

I can see God wants us all to work together & love each other. I am really learning a lot about what went horribly wrong with women and some great insights on what Jesus says about women. Lots more to study here, I can't wait.

If you have any insights on this topic I would love to hear anything about God's plans & purposes for women for our next bible study. I will be teaching on the Proverbs 31 woman also. BTW, notice the proverbs 31 woman also has servants to help do all the stuff she does. So if you ever read proverbs 31 & feel a little too convicted just remember that she had full time staff okay?

Love y'all,