Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Big Day Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day that Mike and I will lead the Junior Ministry, ages 9 thru 12, for the first time. Whoot whoot! I'm pumped about it. I received permission to do whatever we want to do in the class. We can purchase curriculum or do it on our own. We can go outside and play, we can do crafts, we have the freedom to conduct things as we see fit. I hate doing crafts. I really do. I don't see us doing many crafts.

We want to talk to the kids and see what they are curious about. We want to know what they want to study. It's all about them so it may as well really be all about them, right? We want to know what they may be unsure about or confused on. Then we can just start right there and tackle those things in a fun, discussion oriented way. I think it would be fun for them to do skits on lessons too from the previous week. They can put on a little show that is all impromptu and act it out every now and then. That could be fun. Kids are always putting on shows for their families and stuff. Or was that only before the invention of video games and personal computers? Remember when we were all kids and we would put on shows for our families? Maybe once a month it can be skit day and they pick a story we talked about and they can do a show? Just 5 or 10 minutes.....something to keep it fresh and fun.

I am so thrilled to have this opportunity. You know what's really cool about this is that I am so not perfect and God uses me anyway. I have a willing heart and I do honestly try to continue to come closer to reflecting Jesus, I continue to grow every year, and He is down with that. I wish more people would just let go of fear and step out to serve the Lord. Step out and serve, step out and comfort as you have been comforted. Do you have a heart for worship? Get in the choir, what are you waiting for? We don't have to be perfect! We don't have to say "I used to be this and that, I can't serve. Who am I?" You are a beautiful child of God, that is who you are. Nothing less, certainly. Step out.

When I owned my own store it always amazed me the way God would bring in ladies by divine appointment for me to minister to. They would come in almost daily and they would always say "I don't know why I am going to tell you this but......." and they would share their most deepest wounds, hurts and struggles with me. I tell you, that was a treasure that I miss. We would talk and pray together. I think God lets me have so many cool opportunities like that because I am not afraid to share things. I am really open and I openly discuss every dumb thing I've ever done and hope people learn from it. I don't mind talking about anything and sharing how God moved in that experience or how I shut Him out and what happened. When I released myself to the Lord in complete surrender I released every moment of my past and I gave it to Him to use for His glory. And, He does. God will always use anything for the good if we let Him.

Just imagine the possibilities if we all did that?

I was doing more studying on the topic of women's image issues for the next bible study at church in relation to how we tie our worth to the world and not Jesus. Like I posted in my last post I came up with some questions and looked hard at the answers. They have really taken me down some interesting roads of discovery. Today I looked hard at words spoken that really altered the way I view myself and changed me. Some of them are pretty funny in reflection. I can't imagine how people come up with the dumb things they say. I wonder what atrocious things have come out of my own mouth too? Today I released any power those statements had over me. I am really desiring to not just know who I am in Christ but truly walk in it and believe it. I thought I'd share some of the dumb things I let affect me. Mostly because they are a hoot and just in case somebody said them to you too.... let them go.

"I can tell by looking at your boobs that you breast fed." (My response: I can tell by looking at your penis that you were born prematurely. It obviously hadn't fully developed yet.)

"You are worthless and every breath you take is a waste of perfectly good air."

"I've been noticing you. You are very pretty and you have a great body. If you could just lose 5 more pounds I'd date you." (As if, loser.)

My ex husband upon seeing me 7.5 months pregnant "Damn, you're fat."

"How can you be so skinny and still have such fat thighs?"

"If I paid for it, would you get a boob job?"

Him:"When are you due?" Me: "I had the baby two days ago." Him: "Boy, you sure do have a lot of weight left over." My dad who was standing there laughs his butt off.

These statements really affected me. I let them change how I view myself. Especially the first one. But you know, I have to let all that go. I don't want anything to hold me back, whether it's negative self image or just plain old fear itself. I'm following the direction of the Holy Spirit on this one and it's telling me to throw off the old and put on Jesus. To put on the identity that He says I am. Why should I let someone else's dumb words define me? Jesus has beautiful words that define me also. Which ones do I want to choose to believe? That is the question.


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