Psalms

Holy Cow!!
I had to add this in today!!
As I posted previously today, I went to Christianity.com to do my Bible In A Year. So one of my chapters was Psalms 73. I know I have read this a few times before, this year even, but today it sang to me. It was like reading about me & my thoughts & struggles & then recovery period I now seem to be in. It just shouted out to me. I love that. I had to share my Psalm.

Psalms 73 Study this Passage
Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold.
For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong.
They are free from the burdens common to man; they are not plagued by human ills.
Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence.
From their callous hearts comes iniquity; the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.
They scoff, and speak with malice; in their arrogance they threaten oppression.
Their mouths lay claim to heaven, and their tongues take possession of the earth.
Therefore their people turn to them and drink up waters in abundance.
They say, "How can God know? Does the Most High have knowledge?"
This is what the wicked are like-- always carefree, they increase in wealth.
Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.
All day long I have been plagued; I have been punished every morning.
If I had said, "I will speak thus," I would have betrayed your children.
When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me
till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny.
Surely you place them on slippery ground; you cast them down to ruin.
How suddenly are they destroyed, completely swept away by terrors!
As a dream when one awakes, so when you arise, O Lord, you will despise them as fantasies.
When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.

I never knew it but I am summed up in this Psalm. And how I have tied myself to it without knowing it!! Even in my blog I have as my verse that the Lord is my portion, I will wait for Him. Well, in the fourth to last line it talks about God being my portion. In one of my most favorite songs are the lines whom have I in heaven but you? There is nothing I desire besides you. There it is in the 5th line from the bottom. And I was a brute beast before God a month or two ago when I had my meltdown in the Church parking lot & had to leave for home & yelled at God & told him I was turning evil because being a good Christian girl had never gotten me anything but suffering & I was sick of watching the casual Christians & non Christians prosper & not suffer. I was senseless & ignorant at that moment. Do you see what comes after the line about being a brute beast in the Psalm? God takes them by the hand & leads them into glory. That's what happened to ME!! Wow. I am so blown away right now, it's amazing.

God, how you love me. How you love all of us!! How can anyone say you are not real or that there is no evidence of you? My heart aches for them.... But you have made me glad!!!