Calm Thursday

My son came to help me the other day. He loves these new animals I got in. They breathe too. Like a little sleeping puppy.

The second Saturday in August we are having a huge oil painting sale. I hope it does well.

Yesterday I was feeling discouraged, I felt better though when I left the store. I just don't understand the point of coming in if you have no intention of buying anything, but that's fine with me. But to come in for days, talk to me & tell me how much they love the place & the prices & then tell me they are all shopping Wal Mart & the cheapy big boxes for now until the economy gets better really chaps my tail. How do they think we are going to stay in business in the mean time? Why would you even come in & say that to me? I had to go off. So today is a new day. There is no telling what it may bring.

Last night at church I found out that on Monday & Thursday nights at six pm the women's ministry is having workout classes/aerobics. I am thrilled!! Especially if it's all volunteer & free. I am going to go, my hubby is giving me some &*(&)( about it but he can deal with it. He won't die if he has to take care of the baby for a whole stinking hour to 90 minutes twice a week. I told him that & shut that conversation down quickly. Men. So I am very very happy to have a place to do some working out & to have some accountability.

Church was great last night, as usual. Choir practice was fun, although the "hurt guy" from my story about the replay of how I ended up leaving church still hasn't come back. 2 weeks now, I may tell the choir director about what happened & see if she can call him if I don't see him in church Sunday. I probably would've come back if somebody had called me. You know to tell me how dumb I was being and all. The church hurts always hurt bad, I don't want to see him leave because of the same exchange I had 3 years ago. It's not worth it.

So I changed my title of my blog. I have really learned recently that it's not just about our relationship with God, it's about our relationship with everyone on this earth too. Love God, Love One Another. This has really impacted me, I have really been focusing on walking in love, changing my whole outlook on people. Which is strange because everyone tells me that I am so friendly and kind but yet I feel like a complete failure in walking in love. I am somewhat sarcastic too, I have some great one liners. I am such a hoot. Is sarcasm learned? Where did I get it from? My dad is very sarcastic, is that his DNA or learned behavior rubbing off on me? I am not mean sarcastic, but I can be pessimistic sometimes, I like to call myself a realist. I am trying to realize more positively though. I was trying too hard to change myself though I think. Joyce Meyers book about learning true happiness made me feel better about myself. She was basically saying God made us all different with different kinds of strengths & weaknesses. Some people are louder & bolder than others. That doesn't have to be better or worse than someone who is quiet & meek. She was saying to take who you are & make sure you are of course "living in a Godly manner" & use those strengths for His good & glory. So maybe being a realist & a good analyzer makes me more able to help people make good decisions, who knows. It's been hard to bite my tongue on some of my one liners, boy I can come up with some good ones. Anyway, I am focusing on my relationships with God, with family & with people who are complete strangers to me. It is really hard to see all of the things in front of me that I need to work on & coming closer to God & not confuse my desires & prayers for a rescue from our financial crisis. They are two different things & I have to be careful not to spend too much time on my prayers & my thoughts about having God save us from this crisis. This has been going on for so long now it doesn't feel like it will ever end. Over a year now & it has been especially bad since January. I have seen people come into crisis, even financial, pray hard & have had their answer already. I am not jealous though, I prayed for them & I am happy they have had their answer. A lot of people. I just desire very very much for God to rescue us too. Pastor last night said some people are more blessed than others because they seek the blessing more. They seek God more. I can see how this can be true. But I tell you, God plays a major role in my life. What is hindering everything? I am learning some wonderful things through this LONG valley that I am grateful for, but the prayer of Jabez over my life sure would be awesome right now. My eleven year old son is making me crazy right now because he is bored so I am going to go now. Have a wonderful day to anyone reading this!!